Chasing Intan

another birthday :)

2012-02-16T18:05:00.001+07:00

Dieter turned over a new year on February 7th.. I've known him for NINE glorious year. What a long rollercoaster and of course, I'd buy another ticket! and this time, for a lifetime.. Cos our journey will end the day we close our eyes and leave this world.

Happy birthday baby. There's nothing more I can say than my pride of being your longtime partner and (hoping) soon to be your lifetime wifey.

with every beat of my heart, there's a beat for you

may your wishes will come true :3

two hours

2012-02-14T19:44:00.002+07:00

...three hours max is a common time we need to finish a wedding reception. BUT it takes more than a year to prep that!! how crazy is that. INSANE but it is what it is :( And I'm getting so fed up with the preparation. I honestly think that "marriage" in Indonesia (I don't know in other part of the world) is really exploited. People tend to jump into this business cos it's so tantalizing. There are lots of my friends who turned into photographers, decorators, wedding organizers, make up artists, and so on. The business is literally mushroomed. I went to the wedding exhibition one day and met my friends, and I was like "Oh you're a photographer now? Okay. Good luck!" and "what, wedding organizers? thank you." also "IDR 7.5mill for a make up fee? Well.. lemme think about it first."

I'm just so amazed... with how a marriage concept turned into nowadays. We're so busy thinking about the pre-wedding pictures, decorations, music and entertainment, the dress etc etc. I mean, it's inevitable. When I met a so called wedding planner, he showered me these questions "who will take your pre wedding pictures?" "what is your wedding theme?" "who's your MC?" and he revealed some ridiculous wedding themes with silly amount we should pay for it. and for the record, it's only for two hours y'all. i don't get the idea of wedding party = "impress others" thingy. because no matter how good or bad your party is, there's always someone who talk shit about you and sadly, your wedding. sometimes i love how a wedding ceremony in the other part of the world, where the bride and the groom exchange their vows and then party at their backyard or go to the nearest restaurant with their closest friends & family. dance the night away and experience an unforgettable wedding.

to be honest, my fear about what will happen the next day is exceeding even the worst nightmare that could happen in a wedding party. say, wardrobe malfunction. okay it's embarrassing, but people will only laugh at it and eventually forget about that and move on. while on the other side, we can't have any "malfunction" in our new household. being in a marriage needs a serious commitment that lasts a lifetime. and you will not live by yourself no more. there will be a husband to take care of, a child that you will born and raise, and of course a healthy household that you have to maintain. it's just freaking me out, somehow when i fall in my lowest i questioned myself again and again whether i'm ready or not. my friend easily said, "just go with the flow." but no. marriage is not a "go with the flow" thing, my friend. we have to prepare ourselves for everything (mentally prioritised).

bottom line is, every girl dreams about her perfect fairy tale wedding. so am i. but i don't wanna lulled in this fantasy. i need to keep my feet on the ground. i have to be realistic. i don't wanna spend my last single year with dizzying about my wedding party. this is not where my journey ends.. as a matter of fact, marriage is where it begins. and it begins right after you thank your very last guest and kiss your parents goodbye.

P.S. there is NO turning back

remembering whitney

2012-02-13T23:38:00.001+07:00

i feel so enormously sad that my first blog post after such long absent would be another sad news.
God is now throwing parties up there with all the talents that He called back home. so what are we left with? soon, there won't be any legends left.

RIP Whitney Houston, you will greatly be missed.

long live Whitney, long live Amy, long live Etta.. what a nice girlgroup they have in heaven xx

P.S
Amy just received her 6th Grammy for her "Body & Soul" duet with Tony Bennett.. Her parents acceptance speech made me teary eyed :'(

At Last

2012-01-21T16:52:00.001+07:00

music world has lost another legend.. Etta James passed away on age 73.
I've actually been thinking that I will use At Last as my wedding song.. Well here it is.

RIP Etta James. Amy now will take care of you.

a song for you

2012-01-09T22:05:00.001+07:00

Is there any single person on earth (who knows about Amy's story) that not crying while listen to this song?

"A song for you" was recorded three years ago in only ONE take. This is actually the first time I embraced flaw in a song. Totally raw and honest. Cos she always sings from her heart and we knew her stories. Her producer said Amy sang it with loads of tears in her eyes and when she finished it, her eyeliner went all over her face.. He said, "thank God I pushed the record button." The song was very emotional. I even cried when hear it, like I can feel her pain. Oh sweetheart, God rest your soul wherever you are xx Miss you untold.

flawless

2012-01-09T11:33:00.003+07:00

Seeing all those famous faces walk the red carpet with flawless skin, makes me wonder what do they apply on their skin?

With my minimum acknowledgement in beauty world, I decided to walk into one of make up store that currently have a make over. They finally open first flagship store in Bandung, complete with make up supplies for professional make up artist (MUA). So the makeover thingy is a promotional stint. I desperately wanna know what's the secret of flawless skin. I have normal (tend to oily) skin with quite big pores around nose area. Using foundation only doesn't help much. It doesn't cover perfectly. I thought, MUFE is one of my fav brand too.. So why not give it a shot?

I know the daily treatment ritual is as important to maintain flawless skin. I'm using Clinique as my main facial treatment and recently I tried la Mer. I've been using Crème de la Mer for a month now as my night cream, in hoping to get healthier and pore-less skin. Baby steps, it helps a bit. I think I'll use it for a very long time.

Shortly, yesterday I went to Make Up For Ever new store at Bandung Supermall to get a make over. As far as I concern, here's the list of products that applied on my face:

Gentle Milk

First of all she cleaned my face using Gentle Milk. After my skin ready to received all those make up, then she started.

Step 1: PRIMER

She pat HD Primer #7 (after blend it with HD elixir) on my face. It helps to add radiance and prepare my face before make up session. The HD Primer comes in 6 color-correcting shades and one transparent shade to correct skin imperfections. The Elixir is actually a serum to help tighten our face, but I don't see the difference.

HD Primer

HD elixir

Step 2: CORRECTOR

Blessed are those women who already have smooth skin without zits, dark spots, and blackheads. But as we all know, we mostly do have the aforementioned skin problems. Hence, the corrector. For that reason, my MUA recommended me to use 5 Camouflage Cream Palette. Thanks to their highly concentrated in pigments, they are perfect for covering dark spots and unifying the complexion. There are several shades, depend on your needs. However after applied it on my skin my dark spots and other imperfection eventually disappear.

She also used the dark shade from corrector to sculpt my face.

5 Camouflage Cream Palette

Step 3: FOUNDATION

Since I usually use Mat Velvet foundation, I chose Face & Body for alternative. She said it gives us dewy look. I already knew that and actually it's the reason why I never buy it in a first place, I love matte finish actually. But nothing to lose, so I give it a try. My MUA blended two colors and mix it with Uplight for adding glow. She applied it with Ellipse Sponge till she achieved "evenness". Finally, she added Loose Powder to finish the "face" section.

Face & Body

Uplight

Ellipse sponge

Loose Powder

Step 4: EYES

When she asked about what theme I'd like to pick, I quickly said "glamorous" with red lips. I didn't want my eyes look too heavy but she insisted to try on the smoky look. Alright then. She used Aqua Cream #1 (anthracite) and #2 (steel) to create smoky eyes look. To be honest, I think aqua cream is not that easy to apply. It is highly pigmented but hard to blend. I'd rather use the usual eyeshadow (powdery one), cos my make up skill level isn't that high.

After applied the Aqua Cream, she used Aqua Black waterproof cream eyeshadow as eyeliner and top off with Aqua Smoky Lash mascara. I must say I loved it but will keep up with the usual powder eyeshadows.

Aqua smoky lash

Aqua cream swatches #1 and #2

Aqua black

Step 5: Cheeks

The MUA use HD Cream Blush as blush on, she dab it very carefully to avoid cake-y finish. It is indeed challenging cos I always end up having a different thickness between right and left cheek. For this matter, again, I'm gonna stick to my powdery blush on. Well the result was GREAT (only when done correctly!)

HD Blush

Step 6: LIPS

I requested earlier to have a red lips, so she chose the reddest shade in store. Called "MOULIN ROUGE" from Rouge Artist Intense lipstick range. You know what? I didn't like it. The texture was okay, like all my MUFE lipsticks. It moisturized my lips, but it doesn't last long. I'd still prefer YSL or Chanel for its longevity and pigment. And this will always be my fave red shade.

Rouge Intense Artist "Moulin Rouge"

Step 7: FINISHING

After all make up done, she finished it with applying HD Powder with kabuki brush. She said the extremely fine powder can sets the foundation and matifies the skin without changing its natural contours. I absolutely loved it and my make up lasts all night (I only did one touch up before the party) I assumed it helps a lot even when I didn't use my trustworthy Mat Velvet foundation. I ain't need blot paper whatsoever.

HD Powder

Overall, I was happy with the result. At least now I know what's the secret formula of having flawless skin (based on MUFE). I didn't walk home empty handed, I bought Primer #7 and HD powder. Anyway, on this post I tried to review my make over by MUFE. I bet there are hundreds products out there that worth to try. But from now on, I guess I'm gonna stick with it until I find better products to play with. The brushes also play an important role to achieve flawless skin, but MUFE brushes cost a bomb :( I know it's an investment. Maybe I'll consider to buy it one at a time.

Been waiting to see the result? Well here it is..

Since I hate the red shade that MUFE had to offer, as soon as I got home I immediately removed it and changed it to my nude-pinkish lip color from Burberry called Burberry nude rose. What do you think, which one is better? And also I added my fave shimmer, Bobbi Brown shimmer brick in bronze. (that's the reason of my glowing cheeks!) LOL

I was happy as I finally get the result I wanted (flawless skin). The products that applied in my face really covered my imperfection. The only thing that I didn't like about the make over was the lipstick. It didn't match with my already-heavy eyes.

But of course, make up only helps you to look good outside. Don't forget to wear your best accessories, SMILE :) because real beauty comes from within.

sneak peek from MUFE products

in store

after get my hair done

Burberry nude rose lipstick

at the party with my sister

Adieu 2011

2012-01-02T15:48:00.004+07:00

hello there year 2011,

sorry we didn't get along this year. i know good things are waiting for me around the corner.

however thank you for the lessons learned even though some i learned in a hard way.

now i am 100% ready to embrace the new day and new phase of my life.

no resolutions in a making, cos i don't feel the need to write one as i mostly ended up broken my own vow. (still wanna lose weight tho.)

later 2011, welcome 2012.

happy new year peeps!

PS: I got engaged !
PS: There's one thing I want to achieve in 2012 -- happiness
Since happiness is one word with big meaning, so I quote this from Gandhi..
"Happiness is what you think, what you say, and what you do in harmony"

Let's start this new year with positive attitude, such as avoided hangover from what could have been a merriest party of the year :D

The Cold Within

2011-12-29T23:58:00.001+07:00

The Cold Within

Six humans trapped by happenstance
In dark and bitter cold
Each possessed a stick of wood--
Or so the story's told.

Their dying fire in need of logs,
But the first one held hers back,
For, of the faces around the fire,
She noticed one was black.

The next one looked cross the way
Saw one not of his church,
And could not bring himself to give
The fire his stick of birch.

The third one sat in tattered clothes
He gave his coat a hitch,
Why should his log be put to use
To warm the idle rich?

The rich man just sat back and thought
Of wealth he had in store,
And keeping all that he had earned
From the lazy, shiftless poor.

The black man's face bespoke revenge
As the fire passed from his sight,
For he saw in his stick of wood
A chance to spite the white.

And the last man of this forlorn group
Did nought except for gain,
Giving just to those who gave
Was how he played the game,

Their sticks held tight in death's stilled hands
Was proof enough of sin;
They did not die from cold without--
They died from cold within.

-- James Patrick Kinney

Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone from Sinyal Bagus XL, Nyambung Teruuusss...!

Amy Winehouse x Fred Perry

2011-12-27T22:54:00.002+07:00

taken from Fred Perry official website

houndstooth jumper

Finally owned Amy's collection for Fred Perry. I bought it couple months ago with full price (now it's sold out everywhere!) I was so worried by the time it goes on sale, I'd run out of my size. So I quickly add it to cart and checked out.

When it arrived (after 3-4 weeks shipping) I opened the package carefully and there it was, such a beautiful jumper. Remind me of Amy.. At least beside her music, I own one of her legacy through her Fred Perry's collection. I really wanted to own some more from the collection, but it's not that affordable anyway. I wanted to have her polo shirt (with her own signature).

Fred Perry just opened its first flagship in Jakarta, I haven't check it out. Can't wait! I hope they have some Amy's collection xx

Amy wore jumper dress. Wasn't she lovely.. and healthy

this pink argyle jumper is sold out everywhere!

she was too cute

and had such a strong character

XoXo

All her collections from first season to the her final really represents herself and her style. She had a unique signature style and didn't affect by the current trend. Not forget to mention her heavy eyeliner and beehive hair. Obviously she had tons of talents in her hand, but its taken away from her too soon :'(
I love and miss you so much sweetheart xx

Merry Christmas!

2011-12-25T21:54:00.002+07:00

On Friday the 16th my family and I went on to "Christmas dinner". Even though my parents don't celebrate it, but all their friends do (and as well as their daughters). So we all went to Queen with bunch of friends and manage to wore these Santa hats. LOL.
I hope y'all have a wonderful Christmas. Cos it's not just about pressies and dinners. It's all about our faith and celebration our Savior's birthday :)

what now?

2011-12-20T14:54:00.003+07:00

xox

I'd like to thank you for the overflowing greetings :D Really appreciate it. Most of them were like, finally huh? LOL. It was not a decision that you could play with, so took a longer time. At least I can proudly show my ring if there's someone bugging me about the "marriage:" question. BUT of course you people didn't stop there. I mean there will always be another question, like "so when is your big day?" Grrrr....

Right now, our main concern is finding a small house to live in. We've been house hunting from months ago but as you all know, finding a perfect house is like finding a perfect partner. The difference is, while in a relationship you pay with your heart, with real estate: you pay real money. BIG BUCKS. It's such a pain in the ass. Double spank may I say, cos real estate pricing is way so expensive nowadays. Dieter doesn't get help from anyone, so this will be his first house.. I demand nothing cos it's for us. I am forever grateful to have him. I couldn't ask a better man.. It's the house that someday we call our own.

Some wealthy couple who came from a wealthy family will be easily buy a big fancy house. Their parents bought it for them. No I don't envy them. There's nothing to be jealous about. We are standing on our own and be independent. I think it's an achievement on such young age. It's a very hard phase cos saving up that much money need constant income and luck. God has been very nice to us. Especially to him. We can't afford big house, which is instantly cut from our list. It's okay. We prefer a fresh start.. So we can cherish every single thing we own along our way.

This house thingy make me anxious cos I don't know if I can be a wife he's been dreaming of. I've learned cooking, I've changed my bedsheets and sometimes I clean up my room as well. Duh. I know it's not enough, but little by little I have to learn to be a good housewife. Everyone knows it's not an easy task. In fact, being a great wife (and mother) is one of toughest job to do! Good Lord, Dieter is not a conservative man whom longing for a cooking-wife etc. He said, "you don't have to be jobless, you are free to do what you want to do as long as you're fully aware about your status. To be able to cook a delicious meal is wonderful, but it means nothing if you don't know how to earn the money to buy the ingredients."

It sort of relieves me, but at the same time motivate me to prove that I'm not a typical housewife.

Days gone by, we never discuss about the wedding party. It's sink at the base of our to-do-list, cos we tend to think about "the day after" rather than the party itself. I used to be this girl who dream about her fairy tale wedding, but I came to conclusion, it's not that important. This is the reality we have to facing. We're not some little rich couple who just learned how to walk down the aisle and occupy a new house without knowing where the money come from. Sometimes I annoyed by my friends who always complain about the wedding decoration, the invitation cards, the wedding singer, whereas they don't even bother to pay a cent! Tsk. I'm only human after all.

Ultimately, we are now picking up the pieces. We will take as much time we need until we ready to build a family. Oh how I wish I can tape what my man has been saying about marriage. He thinks about the future, like 5 to 10 years from now! He thought about a causal relationship. He believed that what we are doing now will relate to how our children will be. Yup, that far. Sometimes I don't understand him but I have to admit that he has points. He was raised in an ordinary family, so it encourage him to do better. To walk a mile longer, to work a little harder than anyone else. I'm here to support. No matter what.

So.. What now?
Just sit back and enjoy the ride.

happy wedding Robby and Vina! xx

2011-12-18T15:03:00.000+07:00

It's here!!
My best friend wedding :)

Wasn't the dress fabulous? You know what, it's a surprise! She kept it a secret (only between her and the designer!) Her mom only found out on the day she wedded. LOL. Me too, like I came to her room and ta da! It's va va voom! I was like, how are you feeling darling? The dress was a bit huge, yes. But I'm certain it's worth every penny. It's her dream dress and we only stood in awe..

But most importantly the holy matrimony was very special. I tried to hold back my tears but couldn't. Surprisingly, I shed more tears than the bride herself.. She's such a tough woman!!! I am, undoubtedly a big cry baby. Can't imagine when it's my turn someday. I'll be flood in tears and ruin my make up.

Anyway, I managed to stay awake for 24hrs right from 2AM sharp. It was my morning call, we got ready to the salon where we had our make up & hair done. There were a few Chinese traditions to be followed and it all went well. I was tired but happy and excited at the same time! And it was indeed a beautiful ceremony..

Congratulations once again babygal, for you finally found the one you've been looking for, the one you will spend your rest of life with. I wish nothing but the best for you. It's all in the card. (I gave her as wedding gift along with kinky lingerie and wine! LOL)

with the happy couple at the after party. xx oh pardon my wasted face.

R.E.D

2011-12-13T14:29:00.004+07:00

No, I'm not going to review that Bruce Willis flick.

I'm writing about RED literally. As color.

Ever since the last century, I've been obsessing about red lipstick. Yet everytime I came to the make up store, I'd try it on my lips and refused to buy. Every time. It's like, I don't have enough courage to wear one. I thought my lip is plump. It's full (you know what I mean) So wearing a red lipstick only will accentuate it. That's why I always opt for either nude or coral shades. Well, pink periodically.

Couple weeks ago, I went to my fave make up dept store, Glow. I intended to buy red lipstick no matter what. Finding a red lipstick is not as easy as usual. Cos it has to match with your skin tone. Red lipstick has to flatter your look without overdo it. And you have to buy a lipstick with fine quality, you don't want a stain of your red lipstick on your teeth do you?

After tried on some shades from various brands, finally my choice goes to YSL Rouge Pur Couture #1. I was such in doubts whether it look good on me. The SA had to remind me over and over that it looked good on my lips. Next thing I know, I stand in front of the cashier and bought it right away, with another beauty purchases. Beauty HAUL! (deserve another blog post!)

source

IRL

Jumping to the main topic, here's a brief review of my new lipstick. Three words: I LOVE IT.

I went to my friend's wedding on last weekend. So I finally had a chance to wear red lipstick. The overall make up had to be simple, cos I'd look like a clown if I put up too much make up. The application of red lipstick is kinda tricky, moreover I didn't use any lipliner first, cos I don't have it in red. So I used a very thin brush to make an outline and then fill it with a normal lips brush. I must say it really moisture my lips and lasts all night! Well I wore it for about 6 hours and it stays good the whole night without touched up. I even had my dinner and dessert, but it doesn't wear off a bit! I also got so many compliments from my friends :D

I came home, had some chats with my man, I didn't even want to wash my face. That was so SILLY. But I really love the lipstick. :p

Got help from my sissy to put my make up on.

The overall look, not too heavy on the eyes.

a minute before I cleaned up my face! The lipstick was still ON.

So ladies, if you wanna buy red lipstick, YSL Rouge Pur Couture is highly recommended. But don't forget to try on some other red shades, cos every skin tone is different reds. Good luck xox

Adele's tribute

2011-12-11T16:40:00.000+07:00

Yesterday my bf sent me this article, which is so sweet and lovely. We both know Adele & Amy came from England. Both are remarkably talented singer. I love Adele since "Chasing Pavement" came out, but my heart belong to Amy Jade. She was legendary. And she set the standard for young British female singers. So they can stand where they are now.

Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone from Sinyal Bagus XL, Nyambung Teruuusss...!

From: Dieter <d1e_ter@yahoo.com>

Date: Sun, 11 Dec 2011 00:04:59 +0700

To: intan.juliana@ymail.com<intan.juliana@ymail.com>

Subject: Amy

A lovely tribute from Adele to Amy in Billboard this week...

http://www.billboard.com/#/news/adel...2.story?page=1

Also in your Royal Albert Hall performance, you have a dedication to Amy Winehouse. Obviously people have compared you since you're both white British singers with soul, but do you feel any affinity with her beyond that?

I certainly think Amy set the bar and a standard, but for singers and artists in general. Though of course there was a flurry of British women who came out with debut records after "Back to Black," and I do think there was more interest because of her. I loved her for the same reasons everyone else did -- firstly, she was a remarkable singer but she was a believable and relatable artist, feisty but timid and fun but tragic -- normal! She created herself. That's what inspired me. I see no appeal in having a very specific plan as an artist. Who fucking cares if people don't get it or don't like it? I'd rather trust myself, to like what I've done and stick to my guns than make music I don't like, wear clothes that don't suit me and flutter between genres because I'm scared I won't be relevant if I pass my "sell by" date. Amy tattooed that in me! She made music because she was good at it and wanted to. And she was a huge artist who was always a bigger fan. That's why I gravitated towards her and listened when she sang and spoke... Or snarled!

Sent from my iPad

Dec 6

2011-12-07T00:00:00.001+07:00

miss you babygyal..

The release date of my girl Amy Winehouse's Lioness : Hidden Treasure album!

For one and other reason, I haven't find it in my country. But I've already listened to the preview on YouTube. Gosh how long this will take till I hold the it in my arms!

Go and buy her album cos you will take part to donate on her foundation 1£ per one album sale.

I'll be back for review as soon as I receive it. One thing for sure, I'll be holding back my tears. I knew it's gonna be wonderful and emotional experience.. Hear her music for the first time. Flew me back to memories when I heard Frank and Back to Black for the very first time. I swear her songs will stay in my player as well as iPod and blackberry for forever.

I'm really looking forward for Lioness...

Anyway, for those of you who already got it, congrats!! You're so lucky!

PS: found it earlier on eBay. It's about how Salaam Remi, Mark Ronson, and Paul o'Duffy worked with Amy. God, she was so amazing and talented :'( I just broke down in tears while watching this cos as Salaam said, Amy was just not a singer with a hairdo, she was actually a musician, a great songwriter and lyricist.... Watch it and you'll know :'(
Miss you so much. xx

officially . . .

2011-12-06T23:40:00.005+07:00

lack of updates!

Blame it to my newlyfound status that make me so overwhelmed, so over moon, and so head over heels.

*drum roll please*

Yup, it's official....

I'm someone's fiancee now.

Actually it happened a while ago, on 20-11-2011 to be exact. He finally popped up the question. Like, my world stopped for a sec and couldn't believe my eyes. He put the rock on it. On my finger. After these years... After what we've been through. This dude never fails to take my breath away and make me proud. He has achieved so many things on his young age. Each milestone brought the best of him. I never thought the guy whom I met nine years ago is soon gonna be my husband. Well, please don't start any rumor cos no wedding date has been set.

After all, we're still so young to start a family :)

I'm so gutted that a person who suppose to hug me tight was turned out to be such a let down on one of happiest day of my life :( Again and again, my mother was being offensive and she looked at the ring like it's the ugliest ring and smallest diamond ever made. I hate myself for telling her, she's the first person I ran to FFS! As usual, I just took her harsh words with pinch of salt! Like I care, mother.

Hello, he EARNED it himself. His Mom didn't even know about the engagement. He came to me as a gentleman. He told me that the decision didn't only come from his heart but also his mind. It takes time cos he's serious. He's been thinking about this for some time and he thought this is it. This is the time.

He once had doubts. Not about me but more about my family. You know, his trust and respect were just lost during my WW-III with my mom not so long ago. It's damaged so badly that he had to reconsider it all over again. I fully understand him. I had nothing to say but glad about his honesty.

Anyway, there's no need to say about those things again. I'm a proud and happiest girlfriend (oops I mean fiancee!) LOL. Thank you baby.. xx

intanlicious Intan Juliana

Days could be cloudy or sunny.. Money would be come & goes. But darling we'll be happy and unhappy together. xx

25 Nov Favorite Reply Delete

PS: Pictures coming up!

solitaire ring represents his sole love.. aww :)

per sempre 58

2011-11-08T15:56:00.001+07:00

Finally the season full of bittersweet drama has ended at Valencia, where all the riders paid tribute to the late Marco Simoncelli..

My heart goes to each and every one at motoGP paddock with the rest of Simoncelli family.

I believe that he's now in the highest podium up there with our Big Man.

Per sempre 58, sarete nel nostro cuore.

sole-mates

2011-11-04T16:56:00.000+07:00

I decided to change my blog header. It's not that I become so narcissistic.. But despite of all shitty things that happened to me this year, I've finally found my SOLEmates. Yes. The shoes I've been dreaming of these time. Of course ones with the red soles never fail to catch my attention. Here are the beauties:

Lady Lynch 120

the sexy red soles

nude

These shoes are actually impossible to walk, but I love love love them so damn much. Don't you dare being a shoewhore without having a pair of Loubi! (I even named my dog after the shoes) LOL
I've made a photoshoot months ago with my friend, he named it "the confessions of the red soles". Yes he dedicated the photoshoot for my Loubi. Wasn't it funny? These are some of my favs:

Don't you think there's should be another photoshoot for my nude shoes? Cos when I sent the shoes pic to my friend, he immediately replied, "photoshoot please!" LOL. But havent find a proper time, cos I'm taking photoshoot so serious and I really want a best result.

Well speaking of photoshoot, I recently photographed by other photographer who ask me to be his model. It's different now cos bodypainting involved.

make up by Arline (my sister)

bodypainting by Morphacio

And here's the final result:

photographed by Chioda

I'd love to do more photoshoots! In fact, I really want to give a fitting tribute to Amy by being her on photoshoot. But I'm so nervous cos I'm nowhere near Amy & her facial expressions were different! She had those feeling and emotion within her that everyone cant easily copy. Hmm.. We'll see in the near future.

Lioness: Hidden Treasures

2011-11-04T13:41:00.003+07:00

Amy's posthumous album will be released on Dec 5th.

It's a bittersweet feeling really.. I didn't expect it will release as soon as Dec. But I'm still head over heels and cannot wait any longer!

Although it only contains two new songs, but right now all materials from Amy are legacy of their own. You should listen to the likely first single "Like Smoke" ft. Nas and also "Our Day Will Come"

Repeat button is on fire right now.

Like Smoke is a cool track. Recorded in 2008, it was unfinished. Sadly. But Salaam Remi turned it to be this beautiful song.

Our Day Will Come recorded years ago when Amy was 19. Can you believe it? She didn't even sound like 19 in there. She sounds beyond her years. Take my breath away.

Can't wait to hear her other new track Beyond The Cheats!

I'm so thrilled right now

Amy! :( be happy wherever you r darlin..

p.s

The full tracklisting is as follows:

“Our Day Will Come (Reggae Version)” – reggae re-working of classic 60’s doo wop song produced by Salaam Remi. Recorded May 2002.

“Between The Cheats” – new Amy composition recorded in London in May 2008 for potential inclusion on album three produced by Salaam Remi.

“Tears Dry” – originally written by Amy as a ballad, this is the original version she recorded in November 2005 in Miami with Salaam. The later uptempo version appears on “Back To Black”.

“Wake Up Alone” – the first song recorded for the “Back To Black” sessions. This is the one-take demo recorded in March 2006 by Paul O’Duffy.

“Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow” – Amy’s beautiful reading of the Carole King written Shirelles classic. Produced by Mark Ronson and featuring the Dap Kings with string arrangements by Chris Elliott who did all the strings for Mark’s tracks on “Back To Black”. Recorded in September 2004.

“Valerie” - one of Amy’s jukebox favourites. This is the original slower tempo version of the Mark Ronson produced post “Back To Black” single. Recorded in December 2006.

“Like Smoke” featuring NAS – Amy and Nas became really good friends after Amy name checked the New York rapper on “Back To Black’s” “Me & Mr Jones”. “Like Smoke” is finally Amy doing a song with one of her favourite artists. Produced by Salaam Remi. Recorded in May 2008.

“The Girl From Ipanema” – the first song the 18 year old Amy sang when she first went to Miami to record with Salaam. Salaam remarked that “the way she re-interpreted this bossa nova classic made me realise that I was dealing with a very special talent. Her approach to the song was so young and fresh, it really inspired the rest of our sessions.” Recorded in May 2002.

“Halftime” - Amy had talked to Ahmir ‘Questlove’ Thompson of the Roots about working together. “Halftime” is a song that Amy and Salaam had worked on since the Frank sessions. The result is beautiful. Recorded in August 2002.

“Best Friends” – “Frank” era live set opener produced by Salaam Remi. Probably the first song that early Amy fans would have heard live. Recorded in February 2003.

“Body & Soul” with Tony Bennett - cover of 30’s jazz standard with hero Tony Bennett. Recorded at Abbey Road Studios London in March 2011 and produced by Phil Ramone. Amy’s final studio recording.

“A Song For You” - heartbreaking and emotional version of the Leon Russell classic made famous by Donny Hathaway. Hathaway was Amy’s all-time favourite artist and the song was recorded in one take, just Amy and her guitar, at her home in London during the spring of 2009 as she battled her demons. Produced by Salaam Remi.

source

eleventh

2011-11-02T15:43:00.003+07:00

Approaching the end of 2011, I reflected my life in many ways. How I have to deal with people around me, who turned out, to be not that good. Even ones that so called family. I feel like that my eyes had finally wide open. I learned so much, so much it hurts. The dispute between mother and I costed me hundred liters of tears (and I'm not exaggerating here!) also worse is, costed me a pain in my chest that marred my mind. The bad memory won't go away in a matter of months. I'm still feeling it deep inside me, can't forget every single word that came out of her mouth. Just so you know, I'm trying to hold back my tears right now.

After the dispute, came the deaths. I know some might find this ridiculous, but Amy's death is still not yet over for me. Never in my entire life I've heard someone that sang so beautifully with that emotion. In short, she's brutally honest.I can tell that even when she's in her worst state, her voice was much much better than singers nowadays. I still punching myself to accept the truth that even though I've lived the same timeline as her, I never saw her! She's so far away.. At that time when her name rose to fame (Back to Black period), probably in early 2007, I was still in college and didn't have enough money to fly to Europe just to see her performing :'( Now I'm financially better but she had gone.

Then came Marco's untimely death, which I saw it with my own eyes back at Sepang.

I am the nuts I really am. I grieved over persons that I've barely known! But with Amy, I just feel that I connected with her through her songs & lyrically. I always feel wanna hug her and tell her how she loved by many and how special she was.. Anyway, since it won't happen, I believe that Amy & Marco are now living peacefully in heaven. One thing that I learn from them, although they only lived to their 20s, but they incised a gold footprints in this world. That their names will be remembered and heard for many many years to come. Their mission was finished. I'm sure their achievements exceeded many people who live until their late age but without doing anything remarkable. You know what I mean. "Man dies living a name"

Despite going strong, my relationship with my man this year was a mess. We've gone through shitty days where I just wanna escape from him & our relationship. Him as a leader and a workaholic doesn't match with me. I admit that I still wanna have some fun, while he concentrate to his ambition building an empire. Well he's not that ambitious really, but yes he's kind of. Geez my words are all over the place. For once in our many years together, I ever doubted my love for him, and I was like, "is this really a man that I wanna spend the rest of my life with?" But after we sat down, talked, and put aside our ego, we finally light that spark again. He's been working this hard for US, he feels that it's his responsibility to be a great leader, not only to his employees but to me. I broke down in tears when he said that he will protect me and do whatever it takes just to be together. No bullshit here, he said it in manly way, I mean not romantically. And I feel such a bitch for ever mentioned that he's not the one. And so I learn how LOVE conquers all.

Hospital visits also highlighted my 2011. more than my previous years. The bad thing continued when I got this phone call that my aunty lost her battle with diabetes. She died just a few days ago. I couldn't help but cry at her funeral, I hate being there. And I hate the fact that we're all heading the same direction. To death. To be buried. To the cemetery. To... after life? I don't know. It's like waiting in a doctor, without consecutive number. We might get that call everytime, we never know. All we know, this thing called death is inevitable. We're queuing now fellas.

.....

After rain, comes the rainbow. At least that's what I believe in. Sadness won't last forever, so does happiness. Everything has its own timing. I'm just hoping that the eleventh month of 2011 will bring that nice little rainbow.. Pretty please?

So finally i came to a conclusion that people do change, things can go horribly wrong, but what matters the most is life must goes on.

Dramatically..

2011-10-25T15:54:00.003+07:00

Sepang 2011

around the circuit

So I've made it to Malaysia again this year. Was in a full 100% spirit when I stepped in Malaysia airport, never knew a very sad thing would happen in a matter of days.

Arrived on 20th, we got plenty of time watching from free practice 1 to 3 plus warm up and qualification. And of course, a short trip to the city in between stint to the circuit. Lucky star stayed around us cos we had a chance to met Valentino Rossi himself at one of our trip to Bukit Bintang. Where we previously just went there to eat at Sushi King. We walked around and near Lot 10, my bf saw Ducati banner everywhere so we stopped by. Surprisingly, Vale were there! We've waited for him, and there he arrived. Launching a new Duc motor for the first time in Malaysia.

Valentino and I met again the next day and also the day after at the meet and greet.

Ducati's launching new bike @ Lot 10

VR memorabilia. Could you die?

Men in this trophy are the bravest on earth

catch up with VR official fans!

Here comes VR himself

Security and rules were more strict than last year, we had to be accompanied by one security (per person). Both photographs and bring our own merchandise were not allowed. How shitty was that? But when I arrived at Nicky (Hayden) table, I gave Valentino our photo from last year so he can sign on it and he did! Moreover he said that he remembered me. Aside from bullshit or not, I was just head over heels cos he's being so nice! He also signed an official cap that I'd give to my brother. Too bad I couldn't pass his message. Kenrick bbm me, "tell Valentino that 'my little brother like you very much and he prays for you everyday'" How cute! The security was so harsh, he pushed me away from the table and told me to go out!! Very rude.

yay!

he completed it. Grazie Vale xx

took this pic cos it had a same color with my shorts. LOL

Fast forward to Sunday, the race was on. I decided to sit at the front of starting grid. Seeing riders like next to us, did their rituals and routine before race was PRICELESS. I knew the consequences, couldn't see the entire race, like when the riders overtake each other. But I insisted. I sat right beside Marco Simoncelli. He was in posistion #4, we screamed like Marco Marco! But he just sat in his motorcycle, covered his head with towel. A minute before race, I could clearly see that his Dad hugged him. Where Valentino hugged by his longtime mechanic, Jerry Burgess. The green light's on, and there I was, fascinated with how fast they were! Although it's my 2nd trip, but I still mesmerized by them.

we're so ready to see the race!

Marco :'( on second row (5th position)

5 minutes before the tragedy :'(

BUT

the next five minutes, audiences like, "Ohhhhhh!" I saw from the flat screen, a crashed. Turned out, 58, 5, and 46 were involved. I gutted, ah VR not again!! But then, red flagged! I was like, wtf happened? I checked on my twitter, cos I couldn't hear the guys (whom reported live). Simoncelli had a very serious injury, he barely move and the worst, his helmet got OFF!! As far as I may concern, A helmet never comes off like ever, on a crash. We're like anxiously waiting..

my bf was waiting for the race (after red flagged)

Thirty minutes passed by, I saw medical guys running around and a helicopter near the medical center. Couple minutes later, Dorna (/motoGP owner) Carmelo Ezpeleta walked to paddock (or the office) I'm not sure. It was critical! The situation heated up, moreover the riders started to change their racing suit to a normal shirt. In the next ten minutes or so, it was announced, that "due to Marco Simoncelli crashed, motoGP, Dorna, and SIC (Sepang Int'l Circuit) decided to cancel the race."

the mad audiences threw empty cans to the circuit

Audiences started to boo and there's someone threw empty bottles and cans to the circuit, later followed by thousands other people! We're so panicked, cos we didn't know what else to do! The situation at the circuit was such a mess. Everyone's yelling and angry. I desperately wanted to know what went wrong till the race being cancelled. We sheered away from our seat and when we went out of the crowd, I saw in the big screen riders' sad faces, and later I found out that Marco Simoncelli has passed away!

I didn't believe it, so again, I checked my twitter and I read @birtymotogp tweet, which a trusted source. He said that Marco succumbed from his injury. RIP Marco Simoncelli.

There! I told my bf and couple friends whom travel with us that he's gone. We're in a state of shock. I was like, oh God not again! After Amy, now You've taken away Marco! He was one of a kind, despite his behavior on track that often endangered others, but he's very talented! I believe that he's Valentino successor, thank to his youthful exuberance, sharp wit, and larger than life personality. and of course, his talent.

We left circuit in mourning, I saw some people cried... So sad, I cried myself, couldn't believe it happened. Cos my bf just met him on Saturday, he asked his signature but Marco replied in his Italian accent, "sorry, no pen". And then I saw him five minutes before he crashed when he was hugged by his father! *sigh

My thoughts goes to those who loved him, his father & mother, his whole family, friends, and everyone in motoGP paddock and also for all 58 fans.

I'm sure he will be missed a lot... for many years to come.

never knew it was the last time we met him :'( Ciao Marco

RIP Marco Simoncelli (1987 - 2011)

PS: photos coming soon! can't find my camera!
PSS: found it! click for actual size

Ciao 58

2011-10-23T14:42:00.000+07:00

He was a star, on and off the track. Ciao Marco Simoncelli!
You will be missed and in my thoughts for such a long time.
I was and forever will be #58 fan.

SuperSic forever xx

Welcoming baby Mikaela!

2011-10-22T16:04:00.000+07:00

Congratulations to my second brother, Herry for his newborn baby girl, Mikaela Pribadi..

So now I've one nephew and one niece! I'm a proud aunty! Will post her pic soon. <3

battle

2011-10-13T00:24:00.001+07:00

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle" is one of my favorite quote by Plato. The line is so short yet has strong meaning.

Every person's burden is completely different. There are a few things that really bothering me right now. Day by day is like waking up from one nightmare to another. Mostly about family issue, my relationship issue, and also myself, my job, and my future. I've been thinking a lot lately. How I love to be alone, thinking. But drawn in my loneliness somehow make me scared cos I don't know if I ever find answers from all my questions. But I don't think share my probs with others is the best way. So I tend to be surrounded by despair, which cost me a very bad aura. But where to go? What to do? I feel like living in a same circle everyday, like a hamster trapped in its merry go round. Run and run and run in an endless circle.

No one can understand me at this point, yet I'm too weak to make a change and decision. I'm so mad at myself cos I never be brave enough to walk the first step. Failure is not an option. It's a do or die game. And I'm sitting here, do nothing, as time goes by. Trapped in my own mind. Thing is, I always underestimate myself. I think it plays a big role of my rigidity. Like I want to move forward, but something cuffed my arms and legs. Ironcally, the cuff comes from within. It's my insecurity, my helplessness, my fear.

My man said, just do it. Don't think too much, just do. But I'm not as spontaneous and fearless as him. Though I learn every single day. And he did make me proud.

I try to be nice to everyone, but if I'm keeping my straight face on and stay out of the crowd (like turn down dinner invitation thingy), it doesn't mean I'm a bitch. It's because those hundred thoughts suddenly pop up in my head and I need to be alone. I can't keep my game face on for such a long time. So please, be kind. Like Plato said, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.

What I'm against

2011-09-30T18:08:00.000+07:00

This is maybe weird and defying gravity for some out there, but I clearly write that there won't be any upcoming pre wedding photoshoot.
As much as I love photography, but I think I still keeping my feet on the ground, considering the fantastic price list from several known photographers in Indonesia. So someday, when we get married, you guests won't be seeing any pre wedding shots. Well, my boyfriend has this one idea, one photo that probably would be the only photo we have that goes in term "pre wedding" but I'm still not sure yet. Cos the photo takes a lot of guts & bravery from both sides. And also from the photographer's side
My friend who happened to found out our idea was like, you guys r insane. Shit happens dude.
That's all his saying. We just nodded.

Spending hefty million bucks for bunch of romantic and full of happiness photos? I move it to the "non-sense" file without a doubt. Cos what we are about facing next is much worse than that. marriage life is nothing like fairy tale story. At least that's what they say.. (my wedded friends)
Anyway, beside paying tens of million for the service alone, we have to take care the accommodations for the rest of the team, not forget to mention, the make up artist, hairstylist, etc etc.
Geez I'm no Mariah Carey. I don't need all these.

Let's be clear, shall we? what's the pre wedding photographs for? Oh for wall decoration? Or maybe, for show off to others? But hey, what things do you actually show off? Err... Your parents' wealthiness. OK I get it.

.........................
Someday in somebody's wedding, a few people murmur, "where's the photo taken? Oh Australia.. They must be come from a wealthy family." or on more cynical side, "No wonder, the groom's parents are rich!".. People stay for two seconds and left.
.........................
Someday in somebody's wedding, a few people murmur, "where's the photo taken? In her backyard? Agh poor lady." Again, they stare, and left after one second.
..........................

I personally didn't pay too much attention for those photos when I attended a wedding party. Cos you know, they're all look pretty much the same. Boring.

I've known a mother (not mine obviously), she said that no matter how fancy or not your wedding party will be, it only happen one night. judgmental people will keep things in their mind for only one night, well two nights max for some people. But YOU, young lady, you have to deal with what happens next. The new life. Don't sweat for useless things. Think about how to be a good, supportive wife. Share to your husband about how to raise children. Prepare for untimely financial crisis. There are so much more to worry about, than what happen in that night. Go traveling and see the world with your new husband. That would be make much more sense.

I was standing in awe. And again, nodded. I instantly reminiscent what my boyfriend had said earlier in the past. It's 90% the same.

No offense to everyone who already spent their fortune for these things. It's 100% their rights. But we think it's not us. If we dont prewed, we still be able to get married, do we? Its just some things that we against. Along with crazily expensive rented wedding dress (yes, RENT) and of course, a pricey make up. Come on, you don't wanna spend 20 million IDR for your make up alone, do you? Here's the secret, I might do my own make up. I'd rather go shopping for make up tools (which will last forever) than to pay make up artist. I'm just being realistic here OK. I've a capability to do my own make up. It's something that I can learn. Moreover, who else knows my weakness and strong point from my face beside myself?
Well cheers to the Duchess of Cambridge! Kate Middleton did her own makeup y'all.

All women want to look less than perfect on her wedding day, but doesn't mean they have to be blinded by worthless things and forget whats the true meaning of marriage. Cos the essence of marriage lays on the holy matrimony, not determined by vendors you choose ( the pricier the better). It's not how it works.

Its when you two exchange your vow with all your heart and when the Pastor finally declare "I now pronounce you as Husband and Wife. You may kiss the bride"

Again, it's only my $.02

Body & Soul

2011-09-27T15:19:00.003+07:00

This is the last, the final music video performed by Amy Winehouse.

She said in one of interview that one of the most frightening thing to her are if people don't know her contribution to music, dying old, and never meeting Tony Bennett.

Well her wishes were granted.

So the first time I saw this video was at VMA. Ain't it weird that MTV giving Amy a tribute? I mean, they barely played her music while she's alive. And why Bruno Mars? He did the best he could and I'm so glad that he sang Valerie, not Amy's original song. Cos I think no one can sing Amy's song but herself. You can feel it yeah. A snippet of Body & Soul was making me cry all of sudden. Seeing Amy sang with her idol, can you believe it? She sings perfectly with Tony. Even Tony called her special. Too bad she couldn't see all of these.. :(

Many of you might be wonder why, after more than two months I still talked about her. She's a gem in digital era of music nowadays. She writes, she sings and performs with all her heart. We knew that her very last concert was disastrous. That remains mystery. Some said she forced to went on stage, she cried a lot. I couldn't imagine being Amy.. She had to sing songs about a man that hurt him so bad & the one that she wanted to forget. Her management was the one to blame. Amy is not a money machine. But it doesn't matter now cos she's gone.

I've always wanted to meet her, let alone watch one of her fantastic gig. Feel the atmosphere being one of the legendary's audience
I miss you every single day.. Hope you're happy.
I believe we'll meet someday.

PS: Kindly spend your next three minutes to listen to Body & Soul and let me know what you think :)

True Blue

2011-09-16T16:37:00.005+07:00

I hardly updated my blog cos I feel nothing but sad, grieve, and devastated. I didn't want my blog contaminated with such feeling.

Off a good start, I had a fab time last holiday, I went to Bali with my family. My mom included to be exact. We had small talk. Well at least we talked. A bit. The fact that my mom is my biggest enemy is hitting me hard. how could this thing ever occurred to me? I'm the one who always with her, defended her, went on holiday with her, shared our stories. It's like she slapped my face many times. Literally.
And then again, at least we talked. I might forgive her.. As well as she forgive me, but I'm sure both of us won't forget what happened that day for many many years.

Anyway, Bali was sweeter when my boyfriend surprisedly came. On the 4th day.
I was so happy cos we could spend our holiday together. We explored Bali with his style, by motorcycle. It's fun yeah, I've never been go out in motorcycle in Bali, like ever. So as usual, he brought up something new, new experience, new places, and new feeling.. That's so hard to explain. We're a good traveling buddy for each other I guess. While he loved to go to strange, remote places, I loved go to crowded, happening places. We completed each other, didn't we? Lol. Thank god he's OK during holiday. I mean, his attitude at work is such a pain in the ass.

I must admit that I drank too much during my trip. But what else could you do when holiday to the beach beside sun tanning and drinking and have a good time? Bali has a cool party scene. I was so happy that my boyfriend asked me to go to the club. He never does that in our hometown, the last time we went? Ended up in disaster. Oh you wouldn't want to hear the story. Trust me, it's embarrassing.

Dieter doubled the fun, but unfortunately no shopping allowed. There are tons of interesting shops in Bali that I was meant to visit, but he didn't allow me to spend a penny.

However, I feel contented after having Bali in between my grieve, problems, and sadness. what a colorful year, although most of the time I was feeling blue. I guess y'all tired of my rant, so do I.
We have like 3 months to go to 2012. I hope I can make the best of it and be a better person each day.. Time flies so fast..

Sorry no pics! I don't know how to upload photos from iPad.
So I installed this wifi router in my office, it worked perfectly on iPad but not with the laptop. I've been waiting someone to fix this problem but he hasn't come yet. Urgh.

Ciao! Until next time :) take care! x

A tribute

2011-09-15T16:19:00.000+07:00

A nice tribute...

http://www.luminomagazine.com/mw/content/view/3252/4/

Amy Winehouse: A Tribute
Written by PATRICK MAY
Wednesday, 14 September 2011

Where does one start when talking about Amy Winehouse? It makes sense to start off addressing the tragedy that was her life, the international fame and relationship problems that led her down a dangerous and ultimately fatal path. Amy wasn’t made to be a star, she was made to love and to be a musician. It’s important to first acknowledge her troubles, if only to get them out of the way. They have nothing to do with Amy and her musical legacy.

As a lover of soul music, I am often unimpressed by the majority of throwback soul records that come out every year, attempting to recapture “real” music but coming off as cheap imitations. I’m talking to you Joss Stone, Duffy and even you, Adele. None of these women even remotely touches the level of genius that Amy possessed. On her first album, Frank, she showed us she could sing and write a kick ass song, on Back to Black, her second and last, she showed us that she was a musical movement.

Back to Black was not just some British girl pretending to have soul; it was a revolutionary reworking of old school Motown arrangements from the 60s, with the hip hop swagger of the 90s, sung in the style that Dinah Washington and Sara Vaughan made popular in the 50s. All of this coupled with Amy’s blunt, humorous, painful and eye opening observations about real life made for a perfect storm of a record, an instant classic. When she sang, she often looked off into the distance, seemingly unaware that the best voice of our generation was coming from her. She created magic simply by opening her mouth and her seemingly oblivious stage behavior made her seem like a musical inevitability, something that had to happen. It didn’t have to, but we’re so lucky it did.

Amy Winehouse sang her brilliantly poignant lyrics with the same nonchalance, taking her musical statement to a new level. They transmitted the feelings of a woman who was suffering breakups and crushes and frustration in a way few can do. Each word was given intense weight, and the jazzy way she strung them together made the listener double-take: “wait, did she really just say ‘kept his dick wet?’” She did. And it sounded amazing. And above all, it was truth! Some men are unfaithful, most keep their dicks wet, some men look at you adoringly while others “lick [their] lips as [you] soak your feet.” Her way of discussing relationships—and sex—was so human that it hurt sometimes. When she sings “I stay up / clean the house / at least I’m not drinking / run around just so I don’t have to think about thinking,” the picture is clear and identifiable: we’ve all been there.

That was Amy’s legacy; using the music of the past and the language of now to create music that makes our modern day troubles seem timeless and just as important as Aretha’s or Etta’s. Amy was self aware and vulnerable, but brutishly so. Anyone who listens to her music can tell that she was a sensitive person who felt deeply and lost herself to everything she did, whether it was writing autobiographical lyrics, falling for Blake or ingesting entire pharmacies worth of drugs. On her first album she sings, “I’ll take the wrong man as naturally as I sing,” a lyric she surely had no doubt would go on to define her life and her career. Maybe no one can really sing like that unless they feel as much as she was feeling. Amy communicated her darkness through her golden, glowing voice and created fireworks on records and disaster in the streets of Camden. She let everything in, and in the end, all of it took her out.

Rest in peace, Amy.

Forever 27

2011-09-14T23:08:00.002+07:00

Today is September 14th, a day that would have been the late Amy Winehouse's 28th birthday.
It's incredibly sad to know the fact that she isn't with us anymore.

Missed and loved,
A classic and a legend,
I hope you're happy.. Wherever you are now
Although I believe you're now rocking heavenly choir up there.
Singing with the most beautiful angels
And look around us, who love you ever so much.
Your voice will be heard for ages
Like you said before, that you would be remembered as a genuine
You are the most genuine & honest singer I've ever heard

Happy birthday lil Amy Jade..
I'm so happy that your dream was finally coming true. Body & soul is amazing, you & Tony Bennett were perfect. How we wish you were here seeing us anxiously waiting your new record.

You're in my heart forever xx

are you?

2011-08-15T00:20:00.000+07:00

Her departure left a gaping hole in my heart..
We seemed distant.
I couldn't stand for more than two seconds just to sit next to her,
let alone looked in those bloodshot eyes.
We once so close, inseparable. Like two sides of the same coin.
Now everything has changed.

Living in the same house with a person whom you have a -fuck you but love you- relationship is frustrating.
What should I do? Or more importantly, where should I hide?
Maybe I shouldn't hide at all..

Override the problems we shared, maybe we should forget who's right and who's wrong
Forgive each other and forget about it
...
How words easier said than done

She hurts me that much until a question popped in my mind,
is this the same person who gave birth to me twenty-four years ago?

They said, everyone makes mistake.
I replied, it was unforgivable.

A broken mirror can be fix, but you will always see the crack
My destructive side has grown a mile wide
I once asked for a quick death.
But the reflection of my precious ones stopped me.
Why sacrifice three persons, instead of one?

She laughed behind me, while I shed a tear for her.
And I questioned myself again,
are you the same person who gave birth to me twenty-four years ago?

back2black

2011-08-13T01:02:00.001+07:00

no one can understand how you really feel.

you can tell them everything, your life story, you can be descriptive on every little feeling.

but even so,

none of that will ever be enough to understand.

Home

2011-08-01T20:47:00.004+07:00

Our world has been surrounded with dark clouds this past month. At least there were two shocking news happened at the same time. First of all, of course the death of Amy Winehouse. And tragedy that happened in Norway. My thoughts goes out to each and every single people whom infected and involved in that, as well as family who lost their loved ones :(

Well the little storm in my family was nothing if compared to them. But I still haven't figure it out. I decided to go home several days ago. My runaway attempt only last fifteen days. A record that shouldn't be broken.. There were many things to consider.. Even though deep in my heart I didn't want to back home, but on the other hand I can't lose my sister and brother. They're all I have.. Mom forbade them to met me. And I was like, wtf. Thank God my brothers supported me, I couldn't thank them enough..

I've spoken to a few people whom I trust during those days. Some told me to Stay outside, but some told me to left all my ego behind and came home. I chose the later, and I can't say I regret my decision. I haven't speak with my mom until now. I'm invicible in her eyes. We caught in each other's eyes couple times but we threw our faces away.. I clearly wanted this problem to be fix ASAP, but I can't be the one who apologize. I thought I didn't make any mistakes, well she did. She tortured me with harsh words that really inappropriate to say. My heart is still broken, Ive no idea how long it would heal.. But for now, I'm just treasure the time with my sister and brother.. And think about my future with Dieter. I'll be focus. Like my Dad said, don't think too much about what my Mom's had said. It's so sad that my Dad is actually a very kind-hearted man (like everyone says) but too bad that he's surrounded himself with bad people. I never like his friends, they're like influenced him to do bad things such as partying, drinks, etc. I know he just want to have some fun, but that's not the way to have fun. I always wish that I can spend more time with my Dad and the rest of family. But sometimes Dad is too preoccupied with his friends..

Anyway, it feels so good laying in my own bedroom. Although the situation will never come back as it used to be, I try to enjoy the rest of my journey in this house..

PS: Just so you know, I'm still not over Amy's death. Listen to her music every single day and wonder, will I encounter a musician like her again someday? ...

SO FAR AWAY

2011-07-28T15:22:00.002+07:00

I literally cried when I knew that Carole King's So Far Away was played at Amy's funeral, right after her dad Mitch gave a touching eulogy. He said, Amy always loved this song and asked everybody to sing along, which they did. Good night angel, I will always remember your beautiful soul forever..

So far away
Doesn't anybody stay in one place anymore
It would be so fine to see your face at my door
Doesn't help to know you're just time away

Long ago I reached for you and there you stood
Holding you again could only do me good
Oh, how I wish I could
But you're so far away

One more song about moving along the highway
Can't say much of anything that's new
If I could only work this life out my way
I'd rather spend it being close to you

But you're so far away
Doesn't anybody stay in one place anymore
It would be so fine to see your face at my door
Doesn't help to know you're so far away

Traveling around sure gets me down and lonely
Nothing else to do but close my mind
I sure hope the road don't come to own me
There's so many dreams I've yet to find

But you're so far away
Doesn't anybody stay in one place anymore
It would be so fine to see your face at my door
Doesn't help to know you're so far away

For AMY

2011-07-27T14:50:00.001+07:00

This is by far the most touching and thoughtful tribute I've ever read since Amy's tragic death. It written perfectly by Amy's close friend Russel Brand. Please read it till the last word...

FOR AMY

When you love someone who suffers from the disease of addiction you await the phone call. There will be a phone call. The sincere hope is that the call will be from the addict themselves, telling you they’ve had enough, that they’re ready to stop, ready to try something new. Of course though, you fear the other call, the sad nocturnal chime from a friend or relative telling you it’s too late, she’s gone.

Frustratingly it’s not a call you can ever make it must be received. It is impossible to intervene.

I’ve known Amy Winehouse for years. When I first met her around Camden she was just some twit in a pink satin jacket shuffling round bars with mutual friends, most of whom were in cool Indie bands or peripheral Camden figures Withnail-ing their way through life on impotent charisma. Carl Barrat told me that “Winehouse” (which I usually called her and got a kick out of cos it’s kind of funny to call a girl by her surname) was a jazz singer, which struck me as a bizarrely anomalous in that crowd. To me with my limited musical knowledge this information placed Amy beyond an invisible boundary of relevance; “Jazz singer? She must be some kind of eccentric” I thought. I chatted to her anyway though, she was after all, a girl, and she was sweet and peculiar but most of all vulnerable.

I was myself at that time barely out of rehab and was thirstily seeking less complicated women so I barely reflected on the now glaringly obvious fact that Winehouse and I shared an affliction, the disease of addiction. All addicts, regardless of the substance or their social status share a consistent and obvious symptom; they’re not quite present when you talk to them. They communicate to you through a barely discernible but un-ignorable veil. Whether a homeless smack head troubling you for 50p for a cup of tea or a coked-up, pinstriped exec foaming off about his “speedboat” there is a toxic aura that prevents connection. They have about them the air of elsewhere, that they’re looking through you to somewhere else they’d rather be. And of course they are. The priority of any addict is to anaesthetise the pain of living to ease the passage of the day with some purchased relief.

From time to time I’d bump into Amy she had good banter so we could chat a bit and have a laugh, she was “a character” but that world was riddled with half cut, doped up chancers, I was one of them, even in early recovery I was kept afloat only by clinging to the bodies of strangers so Winehouse, but for her gentle quirks didn’t especially register.

Then she became massively famous and I was pleased to see her acknowledged but mostly baffled because I’d not experienced her work and this not being the 1950’s I wondered how a “jazz singer” had achieved such cultural prominence. I wasn’t curious enough to do anything so extreme as listen to her music or go to one of her gigs, I was becoming famous myself at the time and that was an all consuming experience. It was only by chance that I attended a Paul Weller gig at the Roundhouse that I ever saw her live.

I arrived late and as I made my way to the audience through the plastic smiles and plastic cups I heard the rolling, wondrous resonance of a female vocal. Entering the space I saw Amy on stage with Weller and his band; and then the awe. The awe that envelops when witnessing a genius. From her oddly dainty presence that voice, a voice that seemed not to come from her but from somewhere beyond even Billie and Ella, from the font of all greatness. A voice that was filled with such power and pain that it was at once entirely human yet laced with the divine. My ears, my mouth, my heart and mind all instantly opened. Winehouse. Winehouse? Winehouse! That twerp, all eyeliner and lager dithering up Chalk Farm Road under a back-combed barnet, the lips that I’d only seen clenching a fishwife fag and dribbling curses now a portal for this holy sound. So now I knew. She wasn’t just some hapless wannabe, yet another pissed up nit who was never gonna make it, nor was she even a ten-a-penny-chanteuse enjoying her fifteen minutes. She was a fucking genius.

Shallow fool that I am I now regarded her in a different light, the light that blazed down from heaven when she sang. That lit her up now and a new phase in our friendship began. She came on a few of my TV and radio shows, I still saw her about but now attended to her with a little more interest. Publicly though, Amy increasingly became defined by her addiction. Our media though is more interested in tragedy than talent, so the ink began to defect from praising her gift to chronicling her downfall. The destructive personal relationships, the blood soaked ballet slippers, the aborted shows, that youtube madness with the baby mice. In the public perception this ephemeral tittle-tattle replaced her timeless talent. This and her manner in our occasional meetings brought home to me the severity of her condition. Addiction is a serious disease; it will end with jail, mental institutions or death. I was 27 years old when through the friendship and help of Chip Somers of the treatment centre, Focus12 I found recovery, through Focus I was introduced to support fellowships for alcoholics and drug addicts which are very easy to find and open to anybody with a desire to stop drinking and without which I would not be alive.

Now Amy Winehouse is dead, like many others whose unnecessary deaths have been retrospectively romanticised, at 27 years old. Whether this tragedy was preventable or not is now irrelevant. It is not preventable today. We have lost a beautiful and talented woman to this disease. Not all addicts have Amy’s incredible talent. Or Kurt’s or Jimi’s or Janis’s, some people just get the affliction. All we can do is adapt the way we view this condition, not as a crime or a romantic affectation but as a disease that will kill. We need to review the way society treats addicts, not as criminals but as sick people in need of care. We need to look at the way our government funds rehabilitation. It is cheaper to rehabilitate an addict than to send them to prison, so criminalisation doesn’t even make economic sense. Not all of us know someone with the incredible talent that Amy had but we all know drunks and junkies and they all need help and the help is out there. All they have to do is pick up the phone and make the call. Or not. Either way, there will be a phone call.

What Perez sez

2011-07-24T12:18:00.002+07:00

To say we are deeply saddened today is an understatement. And what is hurting us even more is the response her untimely death is eliciting from a lot of people.
What we want more than anything is for people to know the Amy Winehouse that we knew.
She was clearly troubled, but there was not an ounce of evil in her body. She was not a bad person. She just surrounded herself with bad people.
Amy Winehouse was one of the sweetest people we have ever met, and it is such a tragedy that the world has lost such an incredible talent.
We remember all the times we spent with Amy and the thing she wanted more than anything else in this life was not fame and fortune but somebody to love her. That's a deep desire we had in common and would talk about a lot.
She dreamt of cooking for her man and starting a family. She'd share her favorite recipes and dream of simpler life.
Oh, and she loved music. A lot!
One time, we went with her to a record store, she asked an employee where the soul section was and then Amy proceeded to buy 10 random CDs at once. Well, Perez actually paid because her credit card didn't work! Ha
Amy also was such a thoughtful friend. One of our most cherished possessions is framed platinum plaque that she sent us for our birthday a couple of years back of her megahit album Back To Black, and inside she had signed the record with a "heart" Amy.
We will forever hold that close to our heart and we will always remember the good times we spent with her.
And, what we hope for more than anything is… even if people didn't get to know the real Amy Winehouse, like we did, and fall in love with her and her childlike innocence… we hope that what people remember the most is her catalogue of timeless songs.
That lives on! Forever

Perez Hilton
http://perezhilton.com/2011-07-23-perez-hilton-remembers-amy-winehouse

Amy Winehouse 1983 - 2011

2011-07-24T12:17:00.002+07:00

http://m.holymoly.com/music/blog/amy-winehouse-1983-201158264

Amy Winehouse 1983 - 2011

There’s an awful lot of talk about “real music” these days. A bogus and myopic attempt to distance the transparently marketed commercial pop acts from those we hope will be this generation’s artists of legacy; those we can point to in our old age and say, “You hear that son, that’s the music of my day. Proper pop stars, with songs sung from the heart with voices that could make the hardest of bastards cry like babies.” It’s mostly nostalgia and nonsense. But whatever real means, Amy Winehouse was it. The most talented, charismatic and brilliant singer, songwriter and performer I’ve ever witnessed. And I’m devastated that she’s gone.
The first time I ever heard of Amy Winehouse was when, in the summer of 2003, I was given her album Frank to review for a music magazine called Bang. I read the press release and was filled with a familiar dread. I think it mentioned nu-soul and jazz in the same sentence, so I knew I’d hate it. Only, as it played, my expected reaction failed to materialise. These songs sounded way beyond the abilities of the 19-year-old former Sylvia Young girl who wrote and sang them. I stayed up all night, playing Frank over and over, trying to find something wrong with it. I forget what I wrote, but there were lots of long, gushing, flabbergasted words. It’s still the most impressive debut album I’ve ever heard.

Frank’s sales were modest. The up side of that was it was possible to see Amy play gigs practically every week in the smallest of places - often just her, perched on a record shop counter with a guitar. At her first big showcase at London’s Bush Hall, she stood next to me during the support slot (by her pal Tyler James). I got the kind of knotted stomach and tingly skin you get when you’re near a superstar, which was ridiculous. She wasn’t remotely famous; she just seemed to radiate. A friend of mine confirmed he’d seen her in his local Tesco and similarly froze on the spot. What ever “it” is, Amy Winehouse had it in excess.

I don’t think any of us were prepared for Back To Black. It’d been a long three years between records, and by then she’d become a celebrity - making her startling weight loss the subject of speculation in the glossies. When Rehab arrived in the Holy Moly office it went straight onto repeat. An audaciously knowing, raucously defiant and completely brilliant pop record that was as much the work of producer Mark Ronson as it was Ms Winehouse. I remember someone remarked, “This is going to be how everybody else’s records will sound for the next five years”.

Back To Black is as flawless, immaculately realised, perfectly pitched, masterfully written and performed as it’s probably possible for an album to be in the 21st century. As songs, the title track and Love Is A Losing Game aren’t merely good facsimiles of classic songs - they are classic songs. Back To Black wears its 60s soul on its sleeve but remains a modern record; it could come from no other time. And while the LP collection of its author is predominantly from a bygone America, these songs are rooted in late Saturday nights and all too early Sunday mornings in London, 2006. This was modern romance, complicated by booze and smoke. Amy sang her life to us and connected.

And that voice. What a voice. Even after eight years we don’t have the words to describe it. We’re startled, beguiled and awed every time we hear it. We always forget just how good she is. How good she was.

The Winehouse live experience became bigger and better - a proper soul show with pizaz. But never at the expense of Amy’s relationship with the audience. Between songs she was candid to an uncomfortable degree, explaining the events behind the words and updating us on her feelings for the men unflatteringly painted in them. There was no one like her, though many tried. And while the tabloids delighted in news of cancelled gigs, late arrivals and booing crowds, we can honestly say we never saw Amy Winehouse give anything less than a stunning performance on stage. If anything, her vocals were better now dope was no longer her drug of choice. Despite her much publicised appetite for harder drugs, they never affected her when it mattered - when she sang. The final gig of what would be her final UK tour, despite leaving the Brighton crowd jeering impatiently, was as good as any we ever saw her play. Even though we knew she was in a very bad way.

We can’t honestly say we didn’t expect the day to come when we heard Amy had died. But we always clinged to the hope she’d change, and that drugs would just be one chapter in the story. The times we interviewed her, we always left feeling like we’d been with someone capable of achieving anything she wanted to. Someone for whom writing and performing were so natural we’d be watching her till the day we died. There was such fire in her. But fires have a tendency to burn out of control.

It is utterly selfish to be feeling so sad about one woman we couldn’t even call a friend. But all I keep thinking is how I wish the news wasn’t true this time. Amy Winehouse was a Billie Holiday when she should’ve been an Ella Fitzgerald. We’re going to miss her so much.

an angel has gone, a legend is born

2011-07-24T12:08:00.002+07:00

It was almost 12AM local time when I checked my twitter timeline and bumped into Giuliana Rancic (from E! News) tweet. She tweeted,

GiulianaRancic

Reports say Amy Winehouse found dead...

12 hours ago Favorite Retweet Reply

I was in car, sitting next to my boyfriend. We're still on our way home from Jakarta. Tears Dry On Their Own played in car stereo.. Shocked, I immediately screaming and broke the silence between us. Dieter asked, "hey what happen?" I wanted to deliver the news to him, but I muted. My voice restrained in my throat. I looked at my boyfriend and he's getting confused. A minute later I said to him that Amy was found dead.

We're both in dead silence. I knew he loves Amy as much as I do cos we listen to her songs every single days.

He was like, "maybe it's just a cheap rumor!" I secretly wished it was too. But when I checked my timeline once again, #RIPAmyWinehouse has become a trending topic worldwide. I still couldn't believe my eyes.

As a huge fan, I saw it coming. The last news I read about her was, "Doctor tells, sobers up or die".

But when the death actually came, I still in deep saddened. I listen to her every day, inspired by his heartache lyrics and beautifully haunting voice that came from a tortured soul.

Now she's gone, I hope the world will remember her as an exceptionally extraordinary talented artist than just a mere junkie who couldn't overcome her problems. My thoughts goes to Mitch Winehouse whom so kind to me on twitter (we chatted a bit every once in a while) and the rest of family.. Her brother Alex, her mom Janis, her goddaughter Dionne.. To her sweetest band Zalon, Ade, Heshima and crews. Maybe this is the best for her and I'm sure she's in a better place. She finally finds her peace.

If I read about Amy, most people who knows "the real her" (before alcohol and drugs took her away) described her as "SWEET" person. Her "Hello darling" and "How you doin you alright?" will be missed. Sweet attitude that never fails to wave her hands to fans sincerely and even took photos. It's so sad cos I never had a chance to meet her or even watch her gigs.. I wish I was in London so at least I can arrange her flowers. But here I am, reminiscing Amy Winehouse as the most talented singer/songwriter in my generation. An angel has gone, but a legend is born.

Amy Jade Winehouse, you and your music will remain in my heart forever

Rest In Peace Amy darling... I love you

RIP Amy Jade... 14 September 1983 - 23 July 2011

July 12th

2011-07-14T15:33:00.002+07:00

... will be the day I remember forever.

The day when I finally spoke up my mind and thrown up my childhood burdens.
The day when SHE yelled at me with rude words
The day when SHE nearly slapped me in the face
The day when SHE cursed me
The day when HE proved himself that he's not more than a pussy
The day when HE didn't being righteous
The day when HE blinded by fake love
The day when THEY hurt me so much, and so deep
The day when... I left home

Now everything won't be the same no more
Only time will tell

cut out!

2011-07-11T16:37:00.002+07:00

I've been looking for a perfect black bag. But I cheated on shoes everytime I intended to save my money for a handbag. Anyhow, let's forget about the black bag for a while cos I just found the most mouthwatering (NOT literally) black shoes I've ever seen!

markesling 120

Ain't it feel good when you stand about five inches taller than others? Markesling is the perfect laser cut sling back bootie for all seasons! Paired it with skinny jeans or your favorite skirt or even curve hugging dresses and you're ready for the season ahead.

I'm not an accessories kinda girl.. I don't have stack bangles or chandelier earrings or super huge rings. My shoes is my only accessories. I hope I can bring her back home someday...

PS: as you all know, it's a Louboutin

Day 1: best friend of mine

2011-07-11T14:34:00.001+07:00

Today I'm going to share about my friendship with one girl whom I love dearly.

We first met on the first day of high school. She sat next to me, we chatted a bit, later I found out that her house was so close from mine. Only couple houses away. It's funny cos the next day, Dad told me that he was her Dad's bestie when they're young. We're totally inseparable.

From high school to college, even though we didn't go to same college. We're still hang out or have a coffee every now and then to tell each other's story and problem.

Maybe I'm not the best friend she ever had, but I tried to :) I told almost all my problems to her and I think she did the same way too,

Years passed by and we've been many things together. We even had couple holidays, get wasted and do some crazy things. Haha missed those moments so much!

Until one day, my blackberry beep. She text me something like, "will you be my bridesmaid?"

----

Oh how I couldn't believe my eyes! My girl is getting married! I'm soooooooo happy for you and I'm wishing you the best, the happiest, the merriest party one can have! Have a long, happy, and healthy life with your hubby and I hope there'll be mini V right away after you tie the knot. Promise I'll be a good auntie. LOL :D

Lots of hugs and wet kisses! Love you so so much! xoxoxoxo

our recent photo!

look at my hair! taken 2006

at singapore

on her birthday years ago

high school memories!

LOL moment

Bali sinful holiday! LOL

got wasted at Bali

challenge!

2011-07-08T17:17:00.001+07:00

My dear friend Siz wrote something that looks like a writing challenge in her blog. I, on the other hand, had an urge to give it a try. The "one month writing challenge" require you to write a different topic per day. Wanna know what's on the list? I'm as curious as you are... *drum roll* here's the list:

Day 1 — Your Best Friend

Day 2 — Your Crush

Day 3 — Your parents

Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)

Day 5 — Your dreams

Day 6 — A stranger

Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush

Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend

Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet

Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to

Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to

Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain

Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you

Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from

Day 15 — The person you miss the most

Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country

Day 17 — Someone from your childhood

Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be

Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad

Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest

Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression

Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to

Day 23 — The last person you kissed

Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory

Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times

Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to

Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day

Day 28 — Someone that changed your life

Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to

Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror

Well maybe I won't write it in order. And likely, I'll tuck in some shoes post or anything like that between the required posts. Rules are made to be broken, right? At least that's what I believe in. But I'll make it easier by put everything I write in a "CHALLENGE" labels.
Honestly, I have mixed feeling about this. Either I won't finish it, or even will bring back the old memories that I hid deep in my heart.

and the challenge...... is on!

tick
tock
tick
tock

make up haul!

2011-07-07T17:15:00.001+07:00

Since my sister learned to be a Make Up Artist (MUA), I became more obsessed with this beauty world. When I set my feet on Sephora, it felt like heaven on earth. But of course it's much different with On Pedder.
At On Pedder, I think I've died and gone to shoes heaven. All of my dream shoes were there! From Louboutin's Daffodil to Givenchy's wedges to Valentino's bow pumps. Ahhh.... I wish I could take them all home... :(

BTW.. This is not a post about shoes yet I still can't get rid my mind off of it! -.-

So... Months ago one of my friend was buzzing around the "Naked Palette" by Urban Decay. I've read in several beauty blogs written the palette must be one's holy grail cos it contained neutral colors that can be worn everyday and well, night. Problem was, UD is not available in Indonesia so I didn't buy it even though I was tempted.

When I visit Sephora weeks ago in Singapore, I found that Naked palette was really beautiful. I tried a few swatches on my hand and I must say, it was a love for the first sight. Exactly the color that I needed. I don't like too much bright colors in my eyes cos it doesn't match with my skin tone. Beside, I don't like to go to club or else. I can't imagine wearing a bright color in my eyes on my date. My bf will literally scream his throat out. LOL.

Anyway, because of high demands on this product, Sephora only allows one palette per customer. Without any second thought, I bought it. When I got home, I tried them on and LOVED it. Here's the lovely palette (all pictures courtesy of Temptalia)

are you ready to get N A K E D ?

virgin - sin - naked - sidecar (use it as highlight color, lower your eyebrows)

buck - half baked - smog - darkhorse (I use it as my primary color)

toasted - hustle - creep - gunmetal (I use it as secondary color, to make my eyes pop out)

I'm afraid to showing these following images cos I'm far far away from perfect. But this is my first try of Naked Palette so hopefully there will be another good "Face of The Day" (FOTD) photos.

I blend three colors in my eyes (no sign of eyeliner)

bad photo, I know! *sigh

this was how I look in total

I also bought NARS duo (blush and bronzer) in Orgasm and Laguna and truly loved it!

The bronzer just what I expected, contouring my face perfectly and add a bit of shimmer.Loving the blush also cos the color is match with my skin tone and I love combining both of them to get the look that I've always wanted: glowing tan look.

NARS duo blush/bronzer

NARS Orgasm/Laguna

This is how I look wearing NARS duo:

with flash

Other than that, I only bought some lipsticks, lipgloss, and lipbalm (trust me Burt's Bees is the best lipbalm out there, better than Kiehl's and L'Occitane)
Oh how I wish Sephora open its store in Indonesia. I love spending my time there, if only I didn't bring Kenrick along with me, I think my sister and I could be there all day long. LOL

Please be nice with my terrible photos and make up skill, cos I'm still a newbie.. Of course, I still have to practice more in order to achieve the stage of perfection. But I guess my make up skill is more than enough for date night or even girls night out. There are still many many more to learn and sadly, to buy all make up appliances. Some says we have to invest in good brush, but it can empty our wallet right away cos one good quality brush can cost $50 and up! Insane.

But for now, I'm just enjoy beautifying myself with what I have and make the most of it :)

fave look :D

you're fired!

2011-07-07T15:25:00.002+07:00

Along the winding road of life, sometimes we encounter two streets that equally look the same until we hardly make a decision which path should we go. As a human being, God given us body, mind, and soul. Brain (mind) and heart (soul) to help us choose our path. Should we listen to our heart, or does our brain take a bigger part in our decision making? Cos as I live and breath, I still don't know how to use both. I'm a melancholic kinda girl, so I often ask my heart to help me out finding solution in almost all my problems. Sometimes it ended good and sometimes it such a pained in the ass. But the later mostly to be the end of my issues. I'm tired of relying my heart to be a decision maker.

The complication that I'm currently facing is not an easy one. For this time, dear brain, would you please cooperate and help me decide? Due all respect to my heart, please step back as I permanently fired you to take part in my decision making.

...

But most of all, I surrender to You.

the older, the better..

2011-07-03T22:32:00.004+07:00

From early morning surprise..

blow the candle

look how cute Loubi is! She kissed me.

Love you Mom xoxo

...and you too

To another surprise..

Mom prepared all of this!

the birthday girl

got a kiss from Mom

my lovely Dad :D

dear sissy

funny brother

turbulence boyfriend <3

he chose a Cannondale over a pair of Louboutin. LOL

nasi kuning (yellow rice)

And the greatest surprise among all..

beautiful flower in a beautiful room :)

met my bestie Daisy

grab a light bite at La Moda

thank you thank you thank you thank you for everything

birthday dinner

Ocha n Bella

vintage scooter!

I'm happiest girl in the world!
Can't thank you enough.. I had the most amazing day in my life.

My best birthday ever. I feel so blessed, beyond measure. Thank God.

D a d d y

2011-07-01T23:15:00.002+07:00

Dearest,

We both know that we've been through some major ups and downs. There were those hard times when we didn't look each other's eyes.. But also there were those happier times when we laughed together and hugged each other very tight. Sorry cos I haven't make you proud.. :( But that doesn't mean I love you any less.

Deep down inside I'll always be your little girl. Thank you for being the best Dad in the world.. You've no idea how much I love and adore you.

Happy birthday! GBU abundantly xoxo

ctrl + alt + del

2011-06-27T15:08:00.003+07:00

I was overwhelmed with how things going on rite recently in my life. There were no harmonies between love, life, work, and everything in between. Every single thing seems shattered into pieces and disconnecting each other. I completely stressed out.

I finally went to a one week getaway to Singapore in order to get back my inner happiness and hoping a fresh start once I come back to Bandung. For the first time in many years, I enjoyed myself without my boyfriend. I'm not saying I didn't miss him, but I feel relieved....without him. One week in Singapore was like a detox for me. I know problems won't literally go away no matter how far we go, but at least when we come back, we can think our problems clearer and in more peaceful way.

Just in time for my brother's birthday, we spent it at Universal Studios and had a great great time! The coasters were freaking us out and I must say that USS is much much better than HongKong's Disneyland. A bit crowded but we got this "express ticket" so we could cut the long queue on some games. So lucky, cos we're not intended to buy the express one. We stucked at one game and as apology, the officers offered us an express ticket. :D

Next, what's so GREAT about Singapore Great Sale. I did some shopping but didn't find the GREAT deal like they promised? However, I was too busy dealing with my lil brother whom -absofuckinlutely- hated shopping. LOL. I didn't buy too much stuff, hehe what should I do? I didn't come to Singapore for shopping at the first place. Besides, I made a promise to myself that I will buy things that I really really really love, so there'll be no regret once I pay it! TRUST me okay? (I know some of my friends who know me will probably laugh at this!) I only bought myself a handbag, couple shoes and dresses.

I've never been to Botanic Garden before, so I was so lucky to go there cos it's breathtaking! Going to a place that far from crowd, surrounded by trees and beautiful flowers, and even a swan lake! I enjoyed every single stride that I walked. Near the end of our long walk, my brother asked for a drink, and then we sat at this simple restaurant called Halia that offered special brunch. We ordered it along with kids menu and surprisingly, the chef himself delivered to our table. It really made our day even though the food (I forgot the name) didn't taste as beautiful as it looks. Hehe.. So we continued our journey and entered to National Orchid Garden. From its name, I reckon you know what's in there right? Orchids were everywherem even the rare ones! Too bad our trip delayed by rain. But luckily, we've had captured some beautiful photos.

All in all, I really enjoyed my trip. First of all, of course because I was accompanied with people whom I love so so much! I treasured the times with you guys... *group hug*. And second of all, I needed this and as expected, I felt content afterwards. Noone knows what I've been dealing with these days. So this trip meant a lot to me.

Like computers and many other gadgets, I think human's brain pretty much works the same too. Sometimes we're facing "black out" or "full of memory" and "lag like hell". That's why we need to refresh ourselves every now and then. Take a short CTRL + ALT + DEL trip and you'll feel better.

Pssst... the pictures are coming soon!

CHOP CHOP

2011-06-15T15:22:00.002+07:00

My friend reminded me that the last time I trimmed my hair was long ago. November to be exact. So last weekend, I went to Jakarta to get a new haircut with my favorite hairstylist. Heehee :p

I was so thrilled cos it's been such a long time. I rarely trim my hair, cos I like it long. Even though my boyfriend wanted me to rock a shorter hairdo. Blah! Isn't it weird when your boyfriend love to see your hair pixie short a.k.a Halle Berry style? I thought men prefer a long hair women?

Gee, I would never ever do that to my hair. I loved my hair too much, even I decided to not harm my hair with any chemical like coloring, rebounding, and things like that since years ago. I leave it the way it is. I wash my hair twice a week (yuck, I know). But sometimes keeping the natural oil do wonders to our hair and even moisten it. My friends often ask me what's the secret of having a long healthy hair, and I always answer "wash it twice a week". They mostly don't believe it, but I think that's the ultimate secret weapon. Other than that, I also rarely brush my hair, I always put a night serum before bed, and most importantly, don't use curling iron or straightening iron or even a hair dryer excessively. Well that's a lot.. But actually very easy to maintain a healthy hair.

Anyway, this is my new hair..

this is how I look, straight from the hair salon

new hair, the next day. even better

One of my friend asked, what's so new about it? It doesn't look new at all, but actually it's much shorter hairdo (judging from how many hairs that were falling on the floor when I finished) But however, I feel so fresh and light!

trouble in paradise

2011-06-09T12:17:00.023+07:00

We're not in our best shape. Lots thing have to be redone, rework, and reconsider. I won't be the one who pledge guilty all the time, for the crime that I didn't commit. I wonder how long he will sentenced me.. Doesn't he feel long enough? I'm still too young at heart, at least for a man like him, whose mind is years ahead his actual age. I wish I can run with him, but his pace is getting fast every single day, and I realize I'm the one who stand still. With my childish behavior, in my safe place, spoiled by people whom I love dearly. He's gone too far... He moves faster than speed of light. I was left alone fantasizing without knowing where our journey end or maybe when to start a new journey?

Maybe simply... I'm not the woman he's looking for.

Well that's a creepy thought, but maybe... just maybe.. we don't belong together. Who knows?
I wish I can turn back time to see how happy we were back then.
I wish I live in a world where marriage is just a stupid piece of paper.

If only you knew how much you mean to me.
I wish I can runaway with you, yeah just you.. Living the dream we once had.

two-faced

2011-06-08T16:07:00.001+07:00

"Dear two-faced person, I can't seem to decide which face of yours to slap with"

Frankly we often meet those kind of person along the way. So called friend whom stabbed us behind our back, while sugarcoating every sentence that he/she said in front of our face. In my life I learned that not everyone is as kind as I expected them to be. As a mater of fact, I'm tired of expecting.

Ain't it awkward when you typed a sad or angry messenger status, someone texted and asked, "what happened?". At first I replied exactly like what I felt on that moment, and then no further answer. What the.. ?

I was fool once, and I won't do the same mistake. Cos everyone out there mostly just wanna know what's happening in our life. Cos everyone out there mostly won't help when we have difficulties, moreover laughed over our problems. So forget about -no-holds-barred- conversation unless you trust this person with all your heart. You don't want your problem end up in anyone's chat board, do you?

I'm not being judgmental, cos this happens everytime. I just wanna be more cautious in choosing which one can be called friend and which one frienemy. Beware! Cos just like cockroaches and rats, annoying people are everywhere, following your footsteps. Don't deceive by sweet lips, use your head more than your heart. I'd rather face bitter truths than sweet lies. Life is intricate, so does one's heart.. Nothing is predictable. My advice? Less expecting.

rock N rolla

2011-06-05T11:09:00.039+07:00

Couple weeks ago, me and my friends who happened to be a photographer and male model wannabe (who also a very good friend of mine), did a photoshoot together. As you all know, I'm very into photo-thingy. So when my friend Luke Sydney asked to do a photoshoot, I instantly say let's go.

We took a day off from our work regarded this photoshoot. LOL. I wanna step out of the box and make an extraordinary photoshoot that put out what's been hidden in my fragile self. I'm not a confident person, I know people tend to see me that way and no matter how they convinced me, but I stood still. So I had an urgency to shoot something that completely different with who I am now

Luke, Kevin, and I discussed about what themes that we would want to achieve. Kevin immediately knew cos he's been doing this all the time. He's unquestionably very creative and funny at the same time. His original and crazy ideas are beyond our imagination. LOL. He picked three themes; sex drugs & rock n roll, pajamas party, and safe sex. Hence, he brought properties needed such as needle, cigarettes, condoms, sex book, and one suitcase full of costumes. I picked rebellious and gold digger theme. I brought my animal prints leotard, leather jacket, and a few curve hugging dresses. Oh and of course, my show-stopping shoes. What would I be without my skyscraper heels?

The photoshoot went very well although we're a bit ran out of time. I only had a chance to wore two costumes out of five costumes that I prepared the other night. At first I don't want to publish the photos cos I knew it would stirred up very much controversies about things I was wearing. But however, this is my personal blog so I will post some of my favorites. Sydney did a great job. Me and Kevin were pleased working with him.

PS: It would be highly appreciated if these were considered as a piece of art. Because it really is. I hope there won't be any negative judgment regarding these photos. I decided to publish it cos I really loved the photoshoot, no pun intended. These shoots were beyond our expectation.

FYI: I was wearing nude sheer stocking under my black lace tights. Cigarettes were props :D

Photos taken by Luke Sydney

Make up by Arline

Additional edited photos by me

Embracing JUNE!

2011-06-03T15:44:00.002+07:00

Hola!

Can't believe I'm typing in my own blog right now. Finally they fixed my blog's issue for what, a year? LOL

I'm sure there were tons occurrences that missed. But however, I might start arranging every piece of puzzle that missing. Although this is the longest absent I've ever had, I'm so glad to be back again on writing scene.

PS: I'm still alive. HA!

Say hello to........

2011-05-07T23:03:00.000+07:00

My baby girl, newest addition in my home :D

Her name is Loubie (read: Lou-bee). Yup - inspired from my favorite shoe brand all the the time: Louboutin. I once dreamed when she give birth to her children one day, I'll name them all next to my fave shoes designer. Lol.

Loubie is my 2nd puppy. I ever had puppy very long time ago, back when I was still a lil girl. I named her Menik, but Menik was gone. Cos I got really closed with her and my grandpa worried about my health. So he throw Menik away :( I remember cried & got sick for almost a week cos I love Menik dearly.

Since then, my Mom forbid me to adopt any puppies. But when I saw this photos that my friend sent me, I was hooked. There's some sort of feeling, that maybe I needed one of them.
Rewind to month ago, I came to my friend's home to see what Shihtzu puppies look like. And I stumbled upon this one puppy, whose ass was fattest than the others. When I looked into her eyes, I instantly knew, like we have a bond or something. So yes, I adopted her, on exact date of my 8th years anniversary with Dieter.. March 30.

Loubie has been in my home for more than a month. And my love for her is growing each day. She could really made my day just stared at me. She knows when I'm about to reach home. My Dad said that every 5-10 minutes prior my arrival from work, Loubie usually get anxious & barks so hard. Lol. How could she?

Funniest thing is, Loubie has the same interest as me: shoes. She bitten all shoes that laid on the floor!

Well, here she is..

*sorry for bad photos. This is the only way I can update my blog :( I'm working on my new blog.

Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone from Sinyal Bagus XL, Nyambung Teruuusss...!

Quick hi!

2011-04-20T12:09:00.001+07:00

Ciao tutti!

It's been so long since my last post. Blogger seems don't cooperate with me these days. Cos I tried almost everyday to log in & create new post, but it keeps error. I was so frustrated, then I try to post via my blackberry and see if I can write some updates.

Many things happened this past month, I hope I could do the recap before those memories gone..

Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone from Sinyal Bagus XL, Nyambung Teruuusss...!

Gentlemen, start your engine!

2011-03-21T22:20:00.001+07:00

Finally.. The very much anticipated motoGP new season has began!

There are some changes and a few new comers in the new season, so I definitely think this would be such an awesome and interesting season!

Last night, the first race was on. As predicted, the Hondas were dominated at Losail circuit (Qatar). Even though Jorge Lorenzo succeed to cut the duo Casey Stoner and Dani Pedrosa and made it to 2nd position, it was Valentino Rossi who stole the spotlight. His first ever race with Ducati ended up with him at 7th position after battling with Ben Spies half of the game. My dear Vale claimed still had pain in his shoulder due to motocross crashed nearly one year ago. But as a huge huge huge and devotee fan, I'll always support him no matter what. Go VR46!

Here are some VR photos from Qatar, the night race and one of the most beautiful circuit. Don't you love his new helmet and of course, the bike? So colorful and so Vale... (click to enlarge)

The Doctor

The Ritual

One minute silence to reminiscence the Japanese

VR46 in action

It's only the beginning.. I'm sure VR has some surprises for us as soon as his shoulder gets better. Best wishes to all riders in 2011 and I can't wait to meet you all again!

photo source

Yang Datang dan Pergi

2011-03-21T21:20:00.000+07:00

Today I'm gonna share an article called "Yang Datang dan Pergi". I read it in a magazine called "LUAR BIASA". An inspiring magazine that brought to us by Andrie Wongso himself.

................

YANG DATANG DAN PERGI

by Prie GS

Ada yang datang dan pergi, ada yang terus menetap di sini, Yang satu bernama kenyataan yang lain bernama perasaan. Misalnya rasa marah. Sementara yang dimarahi sudah bernyanyi-nyanyi, yang memarahi masih berapi-api. Seluruh perasaan, baik rasa marah, sedih, benci, dan iri memiliki kecenderungan menetap. Sementara yang dimarahi, disedihkan, dibenci, dan diirikan sibuk datang dan pergi.

Lihat saja seluruh sumber rasa iri adalah soal yang begitu mudah datang dan pergi. Misalnya iri kepada orang sukses. Sementara orang-orang sukses itu datang dan pergi, keirian itu masih saja menetap di hati. Jadi yang terjadi selama ini ialah, rasa iri itu selalu tertuju kepada soal-soal yang mudah datang dan mudah pergi. Padahal, tanpa diirikan pun, soal-soal yang mudah datang itu akan mudah pergi. Jadi, kepadanya sebetulnya cukup didiamkan saja.

Orang-orang yang sedang di puncak, sedang naik daun, sedang sukses, adalah orang-orang yang cuma "sedang". Dan setiap sedang akan berganti telah. Sedang, telah, dan akan adalah soal-soal yang tidak akan tercegah walau kita berkeras mencegah. Soal-soal yang akan terjadi akan tetap terjadi walau kita tahan-tahan. Dan seluruh soal yang telah menjadi "telah" tak mungkin diulang walau sangat kita ingini. Jadi kepada yang akan, sedang, dan telah, sebetulnya tak perlu memancing perasaan berlebihan.

Kepada orang yang sedang begitu kuat sampai kuat mempermainkan hukum, sampai bahkan ditahan pun bisa jalan-jalan, juga tak perlu marah secara berlebihan. Orang itu cuma sedang kuat. Kekuatan semacam itu sebentar lagi akan menjadi telah. Bahkan ketika tulisan ini sedang diketik, yang sedang itu bisa saja telah menjadi "telah". Karena memang ada jenis sedang yang cepat sekali berganti telah. Makin cepat ia memperoleh sedang, makin cepat pula ia memperoleh telah.

Itulah kenapa seseorang yang kemarin sedang bergembira dengan korupsinya, di hari ini ia telah menjadi tua dengan stroke yang mengintip di sana-sini. Itulah kenapa seseorang penyanyi yang kemarin rekamannya terjual jutaan copy, hari ini ia harus meerima tawaran foto bugil di majalah demi membayar utang. Ada pula pihak yang kemarin menjadi idola, hari ini sudah menjadi tontonan massa karena aibnya dia rekam sendiri. Orang-orang yang di hari ini menjadi telah itu, adalah orang-orang yang kemarin menjalani periode sedang: sedang meroket, melambung, ngetop, berkibar, naik daun, dan semacamnya. Jadi singkat sekali periode sedang itu. Anehnya kepada sesuatu yang serba singkat itulah hati ini sering cemburu dan iri.

Sudah tentu, saya adalah orang yang tidak bebas dari perangkap rasa cemburu. Apa yang sedang menjadi kebutuhan saya, itulah sumber kecemburuan saya. Kalau saya sedang butuh populer, siapa saja yang sedang populer akan saya cemburui. Jika saya ingin dianggap playboy, siapa saya yang banyak pacarnya akan saya anggap pesaing dalam kompetisi. Jika saya butuh dianggap orang kaya, orang yang lebih kaya terasa sedang menghina.

Maka, ketika begitu jelas kebutuhan saya, semakin jelas pula daftar kecemburuan saya. Semakin jelas ia, semakin mudah saya mengawasi. Semakin sering saya mengawasi, sudut pandang saya akan semakin teliti. Kesimpulan saya akhirnya: benar, bahwa kecemburuan ini sulit untuk pergi, tetapi mudah untuk bergeser. Hingga kini, saya memang masih cemburu pada orang-orang populer, tetapi jenis popularitas itu juga bergeser terus dari hari ke hai sesuai pergeseran saya sendiri. Makin hari pergeseran saya itu makin rumit dan kebutuhannya makin tak mudah dipenuhi. Jika cuma terkenal saja tak akan saya cemburui kalau ia sekaligus tercemar.

Padahal definisi tercemar itu juga saya tentuka sendiri. Karena definisi itu juga makin hari makin bergeser dari hari ke hari. Tak peduli apapun keberhasilan seseorang, jika terdengar saja keangkuhan atas keberhasilannya, langsung gugurlah cemburu saya. Kedudukan orang ini akan langsung saya tempatkan setara orang kebanyakan. Hanya orang kebanyakan yang boleh angkuh, tetapi idola saya tidak. Tak peduli betapapun kaya seseorang tetapi jika ia masih uring-uringan cuma karena membayar tukang keramik kemahalan, sulit bagi saya mencemburui.

Intinya, makin lama daftar kecemburuan saya makin rumit dan sulit. Maka untuk masuk daftar, syaratnya banyak sekali. Populer saja tidak cukup. Kaya saja tidak cukup, berprestasi saja tidak cukup, tetapi juga harus sabar, ramah, mulia, cerdas, menyenangkan, wangi, dermawan, bertaqwa, beriman, rendah hati..... dan sederet panjang tuntutan lagi. Karena begitu sulit kriteria kecemburuan ini, maka kecemburuan saya malah tidak mudah muncul setiap kali.

LUAR BIASA (Februari 2011)

everybody is a star

2011-03-15T15:38:00.000+07:00

I came across to Justin Bieber's tweet the other night (I followed JB okay? I love his "Never Say Never" campaign and how he encouraged people to believe in their dreams.)

Anyway, he tweeted "Think before you say something hurtful to someone else. It may look like they're ok but they're not. Words are more powerful than you think"

Once again, I agreed with him. Sometimes we (accidentally) said something that maybe hurtful to someone else. Or maybe the other way? Like what I've been through. People out there are mean. There, I say it! When you were born different than others, they wouldn't stop mocking you. Like what they did to me when I was child. What's wrong with having darker skin color and bigger eyes? Like Lady Gaga said, I was "BORN THIS WAY"

Those racism rant is traumatic. That's why it still there in my short-term memory. Noone wants to go out with me, cos I'm different. I didn't grow up to be a confident person, up until now. Even though (Thank God) many people have changed and aware about this issue. They never bring this up again nowadays, but why does it still hurt? My heart is like a broken mirror, even though it had been fixed, but you can see the crack in its reflection. I remember when one of my friend insulted me about my dark skin tone and referred it to (OMG this is so hurtful I can't even write it)... "X". They laughed over it, I knew it was a joke. But that hurts! I was hurt but I didn't show it. I keep telling myself that it's only a stupid foolish JOKE. But my heart broken.. I'm not a type of person that confronts. I could easily get angry, but I chose to be quiet and cried silently.

There were many other sentences that they "told" me, and I don't even give a eff anymore. I'm happy with my life. and if there's one single chance to change my life, I definitely WILL NOT do it. My life is beautiful already and all things that ever happened to me make me who I am today. No matter what my skin tone is, how my nose and eyes shape, or my huge thigh. I don't care. I just live my life the way it is and be grateful for every second of it.

On more important note, whatever the topic you'll bring up with, just be careful of what you may say. Think about it first before you say it. Cos when you say it, you can never take it back. Like an old saying, "There are four things that can never be recovered: Stone - after it's thrown, Word - after it said, Occasion - after it's missed, and Time - after it's gone."
Tongue are sharper than the sharpest knife. Skin color is one of many issues out there. The late Michael Jackson changed his skin color extremely cos he wanted people reminiscent him as a white man. Wasn't it pathetic?

==================

Go ahead and say what you want to say, I won't be bothered anymore.

People may ask me if someday I lay on the beach and work on my tan, "Don't you afraid to get a darker skin?" I'll answer lightly, "Hell no."

my tan inspired look from the recent beauty class

"Everybody's a star and deserves the right to twinkle" MM

#PRAYFORJAPAN

2011-03-15T13:21:00.002+07:00

March 11 would be the date that all Japanese remember throughout their life.

My thoughts are with everyone affected by the massive 8,9 magnitude earthquake which followed by Pacific Ocean tsunami. Many lives gone to heaven and I'm sure they all will be missed.

Who am I to judge? But I can't help to write about some disrespectful people who made jokes about this. Everyone know that Miyabi comes from Japan. This group of people fussed about. "save Miyabi" or "too bad! no more Miyabi" and so on and so on. Come on, that's disgusting and not even funny! Many victims devastated and struggle to survive and the best they can do is just complaining about Miyabi and thingy? You guys are sick! What a shame.. I wonder what would they do if the disaster actually happen to their own family and friends. Will they laugh over it?

Our mother earth is once again showing up her anger. Japan, you will be in my prayers.. Let's make this world a better place. Well, maybe the end is near? God Bless.. x