Skip to main content

Random

I've been busy till I don't have enough time to write on my blog. Actually a lot of thing happened recently.

Here's 1 thought, although I'm 22 now, I'm still depend on someone else. Especially my boyfriend. If I were him, things seem very secure. I feel I'm in a "safe zone". Cos I have him by my side. And he is the man that I can count on everything. I mean everything. He is a very multi-tasking man I've ever met in my whole life. He fills my decay, my flaw. I have difficulty of remember the roads, he is very great at it. He's great at Jakarta's roads too. When I didn't have much time to got my hair done, he done it for me. And he cook too. He could look after my lil brother when I was busy shopping at mall. He's great at technical things too. He's capable of everything. He completes me. He's just a perfect man whom will spend the rest of my life with.

The worse thing is, I get used to with those situations for almost 7 years. And it makes me stay in the green zone till I lose my own self. Cos he handles everything. Last night, when he said he prefer to spend the holiday wiv his family instead my family, made me devastated. I realize that I can't be on and on like this, trap in this situation.

What if the person you depend on the most is not around anymore? We have to be prepare for the worst, haven't we?

Wow that is one heavy thought. For me, at least. Its like a slap in the face.




Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone from Sinyal Bagus XL, Nyambung Teruuusss...!

Comments

phi said…
he can make your hair doneeeeee???? WOW. it's just WOW. to have someone to depend on is a great thing especially if he is ur bf. but you also cant lose the chance to be independent too :))) pasti bisa taaaan hehehe smangat!!!! :DD
Intan Juliana said…
Masalahnya, gw tuh ga pernah sama sekali ngalamin yg namanya tinggal sendiri n jauh dr rumah.
U must be grateful for had such an experience back in the days while you study at Malaysia.
I never had a chance to do so. My parents's way of thinking is very odd and ancient.
I feel undeveloped. Karena terbiasa dari kecil serba ada, ada yg ngasuh, ada yg nemenin, lapar ada yg kasih makan, dll.
Jadinya gw ga bisa sendiri. Ngeri ga sih? Gw aja ngeri bayanginnya. Jd gw ga bisa TANPA orang lain.
Parah banget memang. I always depend on someone else.
Hopefully Vi, I keep on trying, tapi ttp aja I haven't face the "real" life out there. Always stay in the comfort zone.
I wanna be in war zone, but I think I'm gonna be the first who die. Bam!
thanks xox.
Intan Juliana said…
Btw, hehe iya itu kelebihannya laki gw, bisa diandalkan di semua medan. Hahahaha :D
Kadang suka ngerasa bersalah krn gw sendiri ga bisa diandalin ama dia apa2 :(
phi said…
ngga ko tan, tar kl pas wktunya lu kudu apa2 sndiri, kl ud kepepet mah pasti bs daaaaa...it's natural, the instinct of survival smua org psti pny n im sure u'r not gonna die fast!!!!! hehehe..

dl aj jaman sma gw tiap hr tdur jm 9 malem taaan ga pnah lbih lah pas kuliah tb2 jd jungkir balik tdur jm 4-6 gt tiap hr bkin tgs tp yah it karna kepepet apapun bs :)) believe me!!! hehehehe..

Popular posts from this blog

.

I'm shaking as I type this.  After so many years I haven't update my blog, but i feel like now i need it more than ever.  Writing use to be my therapy.  so. my husband died. on 22-11-22 to be exact.  85 days ago  there. i say it.  you won't believe how much courage i've gathered to type this post here. the very blog that witness our journey. from a hopeless teenager, to finally got married, and eventually became parents of two adorable kids. too bad i didn't get a chance to update it more. however i frequently updated my twitter & instagram. so there are traces of our journey there as well.  how do i feel? PAIN. EXCRUCIATING PAIN. A PAIN THAT IMPOSSIBLE TO CURE My heart so tattered that there's nothing more to be torn. He died a sudden death. I won't go into details, at least not now. Our 20 years journey ended abrubtly. there goes our future hopes and dreams. __________________ I begin to questioning the existence of God. We've lead a good life. w...

our day has come

I choose you for life. I promise you my deepest love, my fullest devotion, my tenderest care through the pressures of the present and the uncertainties of the future. I promise to be faithful to you  I promise to love you, to commit to you, and support you. I pledge to respect your unique talents and abilities,  to lend you strength for all of your dreams. You have shown me what love feels like and for that I thank you. You are everything I need and at this moment I know all of my prayers have been answered and that all of my dreams have come true. I praise God for you, for all your love and constant friendship. I know that our love is heaven sent  and I promise to be here for ever and always. From this day forward, you shall not walk alone. My heart will be your shelter and my arms will be your home. As I have given you my hand to hold, I give you my life to keep.  Intan Juliana 17112012

still..

current mood : still upset Every children biggest dream would always be make their parents proud. Including me. But how? Many whispers came to my ear that said, "Go ahead and find your place at your Dad's Co.", "Why wasting more time with useless job?", "Don't ever try to work in a -desperately-needing-investment Bank!", and blah and blah and blah. Dude I really wanna show my Dad that I can earn myself money. Now my new car is on its way to my garage doesn't mean I'm fully happy. I mean, I feel very grateful with my Dad's present, but I realize that it will burden me. How long until I can earn my own money? Let's rewind to two years ago, when my friends busy to get a part-time job. This "part-time job" means SPG (Sales Promotion Girl), or Bridesmaid (at someone else's wedding), or Wedding Organizer's crew. That's all we can do for our status as a under-graduate student. Nothing else more and nothing else better...