Chasing Intan

before this blog become dirtiest than ever, i put myself a lot of effort to write a new post.. well.. life has been very shitty. i've seen better days. oh come on, you've no idea... no idea.  i don't want to bring such negativity to a place that once so delighting and lovable (for me the least)  so i will keep the misery deep in my heart. it's nowhere near public consumption anyway. only my closest people and my own self who knows me, the rest is trivia. so keep guessing (yes you know who you are!) let's move to a more positive story, shall we? a while ago I went to Singapore with Dieter's family. At first we wanted to celebrate our 9th year anniversary there and take a vacation all at once. But suddenly out of the blue, Ci Imel's longtime friend came up with this idea of take pictures of us. I wasn't categorized it as pre-wedding pictures but turns out, it was. Her friend (named Nicholas) is an architect and currently live in S...

My mind is flying to exactly nine years ago, when you sat down nervously in front of me. March 3rd 2003 You wore that hat with shabby tee and pale green shorts. You bowed your head down, couldn't stop moving your feet...a quirk that i learned about you that day. We're losing words. Only sat in silence. You were busy with your cell phone. Nokia circa 2003? Can't recall the type, but I'm pretty sure it's tiny. Minutes gone by and you passed me on your cell phone. You said, "read it..please." Confusedly, I took it and read what was in the message box. Turned out, it's a declaration of love. He text something like, "dieter love intan. Would you be my girlfriend?" I was like, euw so corny innit? Unlike any other girl who supposedly cheer up, I was caught in the moment. Nothing happened between us except a dead silence. I've known this guy for only 3 months. Too quick to step our feet on further level. I said, "sorry. I can't give y...

i dedicated this song for you.. on our 9th year anniversary.  No Greater Love there is no greater love than what i feel for you no sweeter song, no heart so true there is no greater thrill than what you bring to me  no sweeter song than what you sing to me you're the sweetest thing that i've ever know then to think that you are mine, you are mine alone.. there is no greater love in all the world that's true no greater love than what i feel for  *YOU* if only i could sing like amy, i'd sing this song in front of the guests at our wedding. seriously. but turns out that i'm not, so i hope amy will be there in spirit and sing it to us <3

Dieter turned over a new year on February 7th.. I've known him for NINE glorious year. What a long rollercoaster and of course, I'd buy another ticket! and this time, for a lifetime.. Cos our journey will end the day we close our eyes and leave this world.  Happy birthday baby . There's nothing more I can say than my pride of being your longtime partner and (hoping) soon to be your lifetime wifey. with every beat of my heart, there's a beat for you may your wishes will come true :3

lack of updates! Blame it to my newlyfound status that make me so overwhelmed, so over moon, and so head over heels.  *drum roll please* Yup, it's official.... I'm someone's fiancee now.  Actually it happened a while ago, on 20-11-2011 to be exact. He finally popped up the question. Like, my world stopped for a sec and couldn't believe my eyes. He put the rock on it. On my finger. After these years... After what we've been through. This dude never fails to take my breath away and make me proud. He has achieved so many things on his young age. Each milestone brought the best of him. I never thought the guy whom I met nine years ago is soon gonna be my husband. Well, please don't start any rumor cos no wedding date has been set.  After all, we're still so young to start a family :) I'm so gutted that a person who suppose to hug me tight was turned out to be such a let down on one of happiest day of my life :( Again and again, my mother was being off...

One fine morning on the way to work, my boyfriend told me something. It's not like that I expected so yeah, I was a little bit shock. He said, "Maybe we should buy a house" . I replied, "What? What's gotten into you? You've said that your priority right now is your business and I'm totally fine with it.."   He convinced me, "It's not an answer I expect from you.. Don't women suppose to be enthusiast? You're acting weird" My face burnt. "Is it really what you want?" (bad habit -> too much questioning) "Yeah. I've been thinking about this lately. Maybe we should start looking for a house... I'm happier when we talk about it, but not marriage. I mean, who knows what I'd be wearing on our wedding day? Or where we celebrate the party, the catering, the band, etc? All I want is you... Us."  Dead silence.  I cursed myself for being too serious in thought about what shoes I'd be wearing ...

Ciao tutti :) It's been awhile since my last post. I often feeling down and sad recently.. Really don't wanna sum it up in my blog. I'm tired of the dramas and now I don't give a F no more. I'm overwhelmed with endless wedding parties and also those boring questions, asking me about marriage and things. Chinese NY pretty much the same. The conversation between my family always revolves around marriage. I was like, "Egypt is about to burn down, can you guys find other topic that more interesting and educational to talk to and stop taking care about those shit?" Yes I am so mad. Like, we'll get married someday. Enough. So now I wanna a fresh start. And let's talk about my boyfriend's birthday :) On February 7th, Dieter celebrated his 25th birthday.. I was in such desperation in searching the perfect gift. Cos I've known him for more than eight years... So you know, I've been there, done that.  Finally, the bulb light and here comes the ...

First post in Bahasa :) Skrg gw lagi seneng banget dengerin lagu2 Indonesia jaman dulu,, ternyata mau lagu Barat, mau lagu Indo, semuanya enakan lagu2 dulu yah... Trus tiba2 gw teringat tentang memori jaman dulu, waktu itu gw ngotot ke dieter, "kenapa sih kamu ga pernah kasi aku CD yg isinya lagu2 romantis?" Gw dulu pas jaman SMA dengan bodohnya masih mengagungkan keromantisan dalam suatu hubungan (cape deh). Haha... Dieter bilang, "buat apa? Buat apa mulut manis tapi gak setia? Buat apa kasih bunga & puisi? Gw akan kasih kamu bukti, bukan kata-kata, ataupun bunga" OK. kata gw dalam hati. sembari masih ngedumel aja... Ugh, sirik juga liat cewe2 lain yg suka dikasih bunga ama pacarnya... haha Suatu malam, dia tiba2 bawa CD ini, pas kita lagi di mobil dia ngomong, nih ada lagu buat kamu... (gw: GR.. lagu apa yah kira2? uda mikirnya lagu2 romantisnya Kenny Rogers, ato apapun lah yg cinta cintaan, Kahitna kek, dll). Pas waktu didengerin, tau ga lagu apa? BIP!! Gedub...

There are too many questions There is not one solution There is no resurrection There is so much confusion There are too many options There is no consolation I have lost my illusions What I want is an explanation There is no comprehension There is real isolation There is so much destruction What I want is a celebration And I know I can feel bad When I get in a bad mood And the world can look so sad Only you make me feel good ♥

curent mood: down I really don't know what to say about this. I'm just feeling the weirdest thing about my relationship. Maybe because it's way too long (almost six years), or maybe I just bored with this situation over and over. Oh Gosh I need a fresh air.. I wanna have fun with myself, I wanna runaway just a moment. Trapped. Again. For this time I need to listen what my heart says, not others' heart. And once again, our ♥ being tested.. Life's full of choice, but which one is the truest? Which one is the best for us? What's next darling?

current mood: still busy. Hi all. How's the Saturday nite? Hope it's as good as mine. I had a pretty fun time, keeping yourself busy is a great way to stay young and healthy. LOL This morning, I was searching an accounting journal for my final thesis, while I replied all orders from my customers. My fingers were dancing all over the keyboard! Then I went to campus to met my teacher, and my boyfriend picked me up for our "weekend-date". LOL. One thing that left me a HUGE question mark on my head is: TODAY, there are at least 5 friends of mine who ask "When will you marry?" I mean, FIVE. Wow, at the same day! And I was like, "Where'd you get it? Do I sit in the "hot seat" of gossip world?" LOL. I couldn't help but LMAO. And what did I say? "AMEN!" ^__________^ I took it as a wish for us to get marry soon, although I'm NOT going to marry anytime soon. No No. I'm not ready, we're not ready actually.. But my boy...

"Someone To Watch Over Me" There's a saying old, says that "love is blind" Still we're often told, "Seek and ye shall find" So I'm going to seek a certain lad I've had in mind Looking everywhere, haven't found him yet He's the big affair I cannot forget Only man i ever think of with regret I'd like to add his initial to my monogram Tell me where is the shepherd for this lost lamb? There's a somebody I'm longin' to see I hope that he turns out to be Someone to watch over me I'm a little lamb who's lost in the wood I know I could always be good To one who'll watch over me Although he may not be the man some girls think of as handsome To my heart, he carries the key Won't you tell him please to put on some speed Follow my lead Oh, how i need Someone to watch over me Amy-Jade Winehouse

Dear Mr. False Pretend, you don't make sense I just don't know you But you make me cry, where's my kiss goodbye? I think I love you ..

current mood : sad and getting worse Though I'd better blind, Love is a FATE RESIGNED

current mood : HAPPY!!! Today is our 5th year anniversary!! Finally..... After some hard years, we reach this 5th year. Did I tell you that when 30 March 2003 our love became official at exactly 12 AM? I wrote his a letter, that said "I do" in my own way. I wrote the letter that just can be read within a mirror. I gave him on 29 March and I told him that he couldn't open it before 12AM. He opened it, got confused cos my letter was "confusing". Then he got that "mirror" idea, so he finally read my messages. His sister told me that "he jump in his bed until everybody wake up! At midnight!" LOL... Then he called me and that was it. Official!! Here are some very first pictures, taken on 12AM 300308 PS : Thank you baby for the watch, really loved it!!

If there's February 30th, then today is our 59th months anniversary. As a matter of fact, we're counting on our 5th year anniversary! Time moves so fast, where'd it all begun? Let me tell you our short story. I think it's funny to remember our "old times" and there were so many memories left behind! I'll start with the first time I saw him.. I met this naughty boy (he was still around 16 or 17 y.o.) at BSM, Mita brought him to me, yeap, she was the "cupid" or the "match-maker". She thought that it'd be funny if I be his girlfriend, because basically, our world is very different! My personality and his personality really like "Women from Venus and Men from Mars" ( we've come from different planet! ) And I just broke up with my ex boy (about 6+ months) and so did he. Mita thought that we were "high quality singles" and would be perfect if we'd together. I have no idea where this bullshit came from! LMAO! My...

Happy V-Day y'all! Errm... This V-Day.. Actually what's the meaning of this day? Honestly I used to be romantic back in the days, because my ex-boy was very romantic till he never stop given me bunch and bunch red roses, and made me poems! Eww kinda ironically, considering who I'm with now, yeap my current boyfriend doesn't romantic at all! And I never regret it, because I think romantic has nothing to do with unconditionally love. What's the point about being romantic? And how's the red roses and poems ended? It's a ZERO thingy for me. Cuz I'm not that romantic. I don't like to be treated that way too. No point of being romantic. The thing is how we treat our lover.. How we care for him.. And loyalty to our relationship. For some girls, that's one of the most important thing in a relationship. For me? No. From my experience, romantic things wouldn't guarantee our love. What I need is a proof. And Roses or Poems are excluded. LOL BTW last n...