Chasing Intan

The news broke at Friday, when I browsed twitter. I found out that someone wrote: "Michael Jackson died..". Oh gosh, I couldn't believe it could be that fast. We lost one of the great, the best male singer ever. Our very King of Pop. Who else can beat him? Not JT nor Usher. Noone can be as phenomenal as him. His turbulence life marked him as a bad man in my head. His problems, sexually-related with children at Neverland, his problems with his family and his own child. Who can forget how he treated his child at the balcony? *sigh* But despite of his bad behaviour, his ever changing face, nose, and skin color, he was the pioneer of moon-walker dance, crotch grabbing dance move, with high pitch voice. He's one of the uniter of black and white race. Shame on him cos he chose the wrong way to be "seen". To gradually change his skin color from black - white. I mean, very very white. The story ended Thursday, when he found dead because a cardiac arrest -

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Ok now. I NEED to CALM down a bit. I'm too busy thinking bout my future, my marriage, my jobs, and that's NOT even happen. I'm just too "worry" about how things will done. I don't wanna fail, so does everyone. But I'm pushing myself too hard.. I'm a money slave, I'm money-minded now till I begin to lose myself. I'm working, as I do a lil business, side-work. All to have money. I can't believe this, I can't believe I'm in this phase. It's so hard to live in such country, like my country. When money become a measure to all things. In my country, at least in our tradition, a marriage means you have to waste a lot of money. For a fancy wedding party, for the stupid thing called pre-wedding (pre photoshoot-- more far more prestigious), for a house, and cars, and a business. Without those, a man can't marry a woman he loves. I once read in a book, one man said, "in indonesia, if I want to marry a girl, I have

Geez... Since I work 6 months ago, I've been gaining my weight for about 2kilos! Damn it. And I don't have time to exercise. EXCEPT squad at home. That's all I can do. Omg I'm gettin fat! I should stop!! I should stop eating dinner, eating carbs at lunch, and I should stop eating snack while I'm working. Btw, speaking about my job, today is the deadline for to choose my new job. I must give them an answer, a yes or a no. And I haven't got any choice! Errrrr..... Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone from Sinyal Bagus XL, Nyambung Teruuusss...!

If you limit your choices only to what seems possible or reasonable, you disconnect yourself from what you truly want, and all that is left is compromise. What should I choose?? (-"-)n Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone from Sinyal Bagus XL, Nyambung Teruuusss...!

Another sad news come from my fam. My uncle, passed away yesterday. He was battling with lung cancer, for only 6 months! Ironically. As I'm writing this, I just got back from his funeral, feelin sad, and sorry for the rest his family. He was only 58. He's a great man tough.. I met one of my friend at the funeral, sadly, she just lost his sister too, on december, because lupus. Maybe some of you not that familiar with the disease, but it threatens many women in the world. Cos lupus mainly, I mean 99% attack women. It freaking me out, no one knows where it comes from. I mean, it's hard to detect. Even the doctor calls it a "thousand faces disease". The disease can't be just discover easily. It through long process and many tests. Anyway, back to my friend's story. So her sister died at very young age, 29. My friend had a tight relationship with her, that made she lost her spirit. She feels empty since her sister gone. I thought I can imagine how

I feel empty without writing in my blog. It feels like everything just fly away. In fact I have this so called -stadium 1-amnesia, a.k.a short term memory. So I should write at least once in three days, otherwise I'll forget about things that ever happen in my life. P.1 my job I'll start about my job. So far so good. My boss promoted me to the next level 2 months ago. I'm in 2nd level now. Despite being happy cos I have "extra" salary, but I have higher target, too. *sigh*. I'm getting boring in this job, cos actually it has nothing to do with my major in college. I don't use my left brain that much, nor the right brain. Got what I mean? I only use my ability to speak to people, without thinking about "complicated" things. I decided to go to job fair last Saturday. I applied to all companies that interested me, and yesterday, one of them called me to do an interview. Another bank. Shortly, this morning I got interviewed by 1 woman and