hello february..

hello february..

as boring as it sounds, time moves so fast!!!

something bad happened with my sister, she's done one thing that made all of our family member UPSET. She's LYING. about everything (and hummilliating), for 6 fucking months! she manipulated us all. the DIRTY secret finally revealed... BUT.. too little too late. she kept it hidden cos she afraid my parents would cancel her birthday party.

and when this happened, it's too late to cancel the party, the invitations have been sent, to 200 people! that's crazy.

I was upset cos my parents couldn't explicitly punish her. come on, with the mistakes she has made, she should be grounded! BUT instead of punish her, my parents preserve the party. WHY? if i did something bad in the past (not as bad as her) , i get punished.

The party held on Saturday, January 30th in one hip club in Bandung. It went success though. We already forgave her, but we couldn't that easy FORGET it. I mean, it was a very very horrible thing to happened. And I knew the worse story than that. My sister is a BIG MESS!

I hope she had her lesson. Experience always be a best teacher, ONLY if you realize it. If you don't, you'll make the same mistake & fall into same black hole. It turns out, my little sister is not LITTLE anymore. Man, she's unexpected!

As for me,

recently I often argued with my boyfriend. I think he's waaaay too mature for his age. I mean, he's in 20-25 age box (you know, the box when we fill in the survey), but his brain is definitely in 35-40! If he's a runner, then he's a sprint runner! He's ambitious, hard worker, and full of spirits. I can't catch him, let alone get along with him!

I feel bad with myself, cos in my age, I'm still a spoil bunny.

and the next thing I know, he complained about my shopping habit. I upset, but I must admit that all things that came from his mouth were TRUE.

We have this dream wedding, dream house, dream honeymoon, and many other dreams. How can we actualize it if I stand still and he's running alone? We BOTH have to chase our dream. He said that he needs me to support him, and he wants me to be more independent. I can't depend on him every time cos he afraid, if something bad happen to him, then who will take care of me other than my own self?

He also said from now on, I have to start SAVING and invest my money to something more useful, like golds, instead of shoes & bags. I'm so selfish, I'm too busy thinking what should I wear, where's the next sale, and blahblahblah, whereas my dear boyfriend NEEDS my support!

I'm so sorry... He gives me another shot to change, and I won't miss it.

Why is it so hard to kick bad habit? I don't personally think shopping is a bad habit. But everything has its own perfect timing. Maybe this time I should pay more attention to my business, to my future with my boyfriend. There r many precious thing to concern than just a fashion statement.

can somebody slap me please? i'm such a bitch.

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Haiti

Haiti

If you wanna make the world a better place, take a look at yourself then make a change...

Michael Jackson - Man In The Mirror

Can't change the world overnight, we can start to staying alive, one at a time.. So let's make a history, and help out those in need, one at a time... we can change a life.

Travis McCoy - One at a Time

We all know that mother earth is crying AGAIN after what happened at Haiti. A massive 7.0-magnitude earthquake has struck the Caribbean nation of Haiti. and from what I recall, the victims already 200000 people dead and still, there are large number of people missing.

I think it's time to showing the world that we CARE. I care so much for them, especially for the dead children, or them who lost their family & their loved ones. They lost their houses, as a matter of fact, they lost everything they had before.

It's not about how much the donation, but the truth is, the EFFORT and showing that we CARE to our brothers and sisters. Let's shed some lights on Haiti,,

I finally made an effort yesterday by visited www.hopeforhaitinow.org. How about you?

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some pieces from 2009

some pieces from 2009

Just like every year that passes by, 2009 brings lots of memories, both good and bad, and so many ups and downs. Well thats life, isn’t it? But I think this year was remarkable, especially about my relationship with Dieter. Our relationship this year was full of struggles and trials. But I’m so glad that we still can through those horrible times.

So these r the remarkable files:

1. I graduated and start to work at Singaporean Bank (DBS) on January 5th. That was just great. More than I’ve had expected. I love the people, my boss, and the bank also. OK not the bank, but I love love my friends who worked at DBS. They were magnificent. And the best thing was, I earned the money.

wiv Daisy & Aline

wiv some of my friends at DBS

2. I must said goodbye to my own baby Cutesy Girlz. Cos at that day, I must chose between my job and my online shop. And sadly, it didn’t work out if they stood together. So goodbye Cutesy Girlz, but not for good. I’ll rebuild my online shop this year, hopefully. With new concept and new items.

3. Struggles between me, Mr. D, and my parents. There were lot things happening, INCLUDE my parents wanted me to marry the “chosen” guy. I thought I was the most PATHETIC girl that time. Double middle finger! I almost believe that every love story doesn’t always have a happy ending. But hey! Me & Mr. D through that! Now we can make my parents believe that we are MEANT for each other, we’re unseparable, and we’re BELONG together. Trials make us stronger than before.

me and my otherhalf

4. On August, I resigned from my lovely office. My Dad insist me to work with him. I didn’t want to, but he kept telling me that no matter where you work, you’d end up here. (at my Dad’s office). So you better “drowned” myself a.s.a.p. Me: SPEECHLESS. And just nodding my head. STUPID


5. I went to my first trip (outside the country), ALONE. My friends were like, “who you’ll be with?”. I said, “I’m on my own”, and they’re like “No fucking way. You never be alone”. And yeah, they true. I’ll never alone through all my life. So I proved to them that I could. I stayed at my friend’s house. She was busy at that time, and I mostly spent my days at Singapore alone. Even I went to Singapore Flyer alone. I kinda enjoyed that moment. Especially when I was shopping! Here, there, everywhere, I LOVE shopping ALONE. And from my point of view when I alone, Singapore was not just about Orchird road after all :D

at Singapore Flyer

6. I watched Lady Gaga!!!!! You all know that the LOVE of my life are Amy W and Madonna. But appearantly, Amy W was too busy smoking crack, and Madonna only tour at US & Europe. I couldn’t reach them. And Gaga is a bit closer to them. She’s the new princess. She’s cutting the edge, and she’s not afraid to show us the “outside the box” performance.. She simply INSANE. I was soooooooo excited I finally watch her concert & make one of my friend ENVY me to the max. LOL. (I didn’t mean to, AL! You should come up with me & chose Singapore as your vacay destination instead Malaysia). And I was right. Me, Susan, and three other friends REALLY REALLY enjoy the concert. Gaga was FANTASTIC.

GAGA gone wild

the girls at Fort Canning Park

7. The next month, (lucky me), I went to another trip to Thailand. Wiv my family this time. I love Thai too! I love the temples, and here’s the one I love most: SHOPPING area! God. I believe Thailand is one of the shopping heaven in Asia. Their keyword: EFFORTLESSLY CHIC. You can get valuable items at very low price!

in the front of Wat Arun

8. And this year I made my decision about my religion. I’ve been a Moslem since I was born. When I grown up, things changed. The terrorist thing, the polygamy on marriage thing, and the “bla bla blah” thing, made me reconsider about my religion. Does Moslem fit me? I never like the way they dress & their way of thinking. I end up wiv Mr. D whom Catholic, he taught me many many things. At first, I ALMOST lost my faith in God. You know, when you watch NGC or science thingy, You’d find that the first human is not Adam, instead the foccils they found. The bible said God creates the earth on the first day, instead of dinos (which the scientist found their foccisl). And the whole world thing, who creates who? We’re not alone in this so called universe. It’s all confusion. I believe in lots things, I believe in karma, even I believe in aliens & UFOs.So is there any highest power? Why does it call God?
Well, it was my thoughts long ago, and Mr. D gave me a little lesson how we deal with life. And I chose Catholic as my religion now. I haven’s got baptised yet. But soon, as soon as he proposes me. Guys, don’t get me wrong. It was just my thoughts.

9. My family was a total mess this year. Instead of age gracefully, and make themselves closer to God, my parents chose ton “having” a lot fun with their friends. It’d be inappropriate if I write it here, but the things cost me a lot of FROWN too. And if I keep trap in this situation over and over, and with my current job, trust me ladies, I’ll get my first Botox before 30. I’ve been thinking about this all the time. My family, my job, my relationship, and all. I hope 2010 will bring such a new light to my family, and a even a lighter light in myself for having the job. There were happier times too, when my brother got married 

10. I lost many friends on 2009. Literally. Not losing because the death. But I lost them. As many new friends come into my life, many friends go too. Isn’t life about making friends? But I haven’t got the “real” yet. I’m not calling myself as a good friend to my friends, so I deserve this. When everyone has their soulmates (the REAL friends), I have Mr. D by my side. But sometimes, I need girl friends too. OK I admit that I’ve been too busy with my relationship for almost 7 years. I felt awful cos I was too busy to defend my relationship, my teenage time all gone.. I didn’t have much time to hang out with the girls, I was too crazy in love and now I’m regretting it. But, there’s no turning back. So I have to accept the consequences. This is one other reason why I won’t getting marry yet.. How I wish I could turn back time to my highschool.

11. I've become a model! LOL. I'm playing muse for my friend whom a bridal Make Up Artist. And I became a bride! The photo haven't done yet, but I'll post some photos from my last photoshoot. 1 more thing I know, that my interest in fashion become more and more intense this year. I hope this can bring some influences for the re-opening of my online boutique on 2010.

There they go..... Some pieces from 2009. Like everyone else’s hope, I do hope that 2010 will be a better year ;)

welcoming 2010

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Ever thine ever mine ever ours

Ever thine ever mine ever ours

Ever since I "trapped" in this relationship wiv Mr. D, he never written to me a love letter. I don't expect that much actually, considering how "straight" he does. Romantic has never been his style, and I already accepted that.

But, I read this love letter from Beethoven, called "Immortal Beloved" and I was very very TOUCHING.
So here we go, bring it on Ludwig!

Good morning, on July 7
Though still in bed, my thoughts go out to you, my Immortal Beloved, now and then joyfully, then sadly, waiting to learn whether or not fate will hear us -



I can live only wholly with you or not at all -


Yes, I am resolved to wander so long away from you until I can fly to your arms and say that I am really at home with you, and can send my soul enwrapped in you into the land of spirits -


Yes, unhappily it must be so -


You will be the more contained since you know my fidelity to you. No one else can ever possess my heart - never - never -


Oh God, why must one be parted from one whom one so loves.


And yet my life in V is now a wretched life -


Your love makes me at once the happiest and the unhappiest of men -


At my age I need a steady, quiet life - can that be so in our connection?


My angel, I have just been told that the mailcoach goes every day - therefore I must close at once so that you may receive the letter at once -


Be calm, only by a calm consideration of our existence can we achieve our purpose to live together -


Be calm - love me - today - yesterday - what tearful longings for you - you - you - my life - my all - farewell.


Oh continue to love me - never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved.


Ever thine

Ever mine

Ever ours



I really LOVEEEE the ever thine, ever mine, ever ours part (means: forever yours, forever mine, forever ours) oh God!!! How could he be sooooo romantic?? I really wanna put that phrase on my wedding vow (if I ever get marry).


Now you can call me corny :p




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2010

2010

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Let's making resolution! hmm...

1. I hope in the new year, I'll find a better job for me to handle. However, I deserve a SMILE when I'm doing my job, right? Let's erase the sad face!
   
2. I hope I always be surrounded by fabulous shoes & bags. I know it's not important to some people, but for me? Yeah, it's quite important. I really wanna own my very first Louboutin or Manolo. Oh how I worship them!! Jeez. Could it be? Who knows.
   
3. For the record, I won't get married this year. and I won't have a baby anytime soon. Why do everybody always buzz around this? I know my relationship finally get in its 7th year, but what's wrong with that? We're still wanna having fun with our life and this relationship, and I don't want marriage ruin our happy life. In fact, I'm sooooo not ready. YET.
   
4. I'll be a smarter and wiser shopaholic.
   
5. I hope I can have my family back. You know, last year been a tough year for our family.
6. I wanna be a better woman in my relationship. Dieter often called himself a bear who always entertaints me, and of course a multi-tasking man. He wanted me to express myself more. And I was like, come on, break the ice! I must admit that I'm an ice girl. I couldn't make joke, and I couldn't express things the way Dieter do. I feel bad to myself, so what can I do? This is me. But I hope this year I'll be million times better ME.
   
7. I want to learn other languages. I want to be able speak French, I always think French language is very very beautiful language. And 1 more, I MUST learn Chinese. It's very important in business world nowadays.
   
8. Take short courses, like make up course.
   
9. Do sports routinely and do squash more often.
   
10. Don't eat meat everyday. (In fact I NEVER like red meat). More vegetables & fruits. and NO junk food.
    
11. I love my boyfriend, but I wanna love me more. I should have my "me time" more often.
12. Go to church every week and pray before sleep & after wake up.
    
13. More honest to myself & more open to something new. I have to be more confident with myself, and my own skin.
    
14. Wanna watch more concert! I hope I can catch up again with Lady Gaga, I know her current tour is far better than the last. I was lucky enough cos I can watched her performance last year at Singapore. I hope Amy W will make a new album, and do some gigs too and I'll watch her no matter what!
    
15. Facial facial facial. Once a month!

and many more to come. .


Let's make a brand new story. Have a gorgeous 2010!! Cheers..
xxxxxxxxxxx

Lady J

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all dressed in love

all dressed in love

I kinda hooked up with this Jennifer Hudson's song All Dressed in Love.
Actually it was a OST Sex and The City movie. So the song told about we can cover ourselves wiv clothes, shoes, etc.. Even we can cover our pain with MAC make up (which is very true, and I've been through this). But thats all FAKE. We CAN'T cover our pain to ourselves. The point of the song is what if we can wear what we feel?

When you can wear what you feel
what do you wanna say?
Now love is a little number
that you can wear each day

As long as you let me be the accessorry
Simply send me on my way
Style of love
I look good in love

When it's been out of sight and out of mind for such a long time
That's how one forgets
So I reached in the back of my closet and pulled it out
And tried it on and it still fits

So I covered the pain up with lots of MAC make-up
But I can't help but blush
Because I'm in love
All dressed up in love

Cool in the summer, warm in the winter
I'm all dressed up in love
I'm cool in the summer, warm in the winter
Cuz I'm in love
All dressed up in love

People are looking, yeah, some even staring
I don't know it when they ask me what I'm wearing
This or that its made for any weather
my friend and i sit down and we both make it together

Now if you really want one of your own
I hope your shoes are made for walking
Cuz I found love
and you must find love

Cool in the summer, warm in the winter
I'm all dressed up in love
I'm cool in the summer, warm in the winter (I'm so warm)
Cuz I'm in love
All dressed up in love

Cuz I found love
And you must find love

The song really taught me something. And I really love how Jen Hudson brought it. Lovely thought just before NYE. Who cares about Labels? All we have to do is finding Love.

by the way.....

Another fresh new year is here, another year to live! To banish worry, doubt, and fear, to love, laugh, and to give! HAPPY NEW YEAR 2010!

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Last Monday on 2009

Last Monday on 2009

2009 will end within 4 days. Wow!
How time flies so fast? Its like yesterday I was celebrating NYE wiv dieter's fam.

I tend to hate every Monday. But this Monday? I have to give it a little appreciation since I can't repeat all other Mondays on 2009. LoL.

Everyone, every year, has grown up to be a better person. (At least people who close to my heart). I can see clearly, the difference every year make. But I personally, don't feel the "difference" in myself. I stand still in my place. Everybody's changing, and I don't feel it.

The big thing about 2009 was I start working. And earn money by myself. But I can't tell it was a significant thing in my life. Everyone has their job and began to raised the "bar". Contrary with me, I got the job, and it pulled me down. I don't know how many posts in the future will I write about my current job. I just don't suit to this job. I'm not a technical woman, I'm not familiar with textile machines, it's just not soooo me. However I'll stick to it 'till I get something else that interest me. Please be reminded that I'm NOT an ungrateful woman. I just want doing the right thing, without this burden.
I hope next year I can re-build my online business and make it bigger!

I have so many dreams that can't be achieve with only the blink of an eye. But I have to pay it with my sweat & blood. I know this is a big joke for some people, and a girl like me, but hey, I still want a Birkin. LOL.
I still think that buy "timeless" fashion items are investment. For the record, "investment" in fashion is totally different with the real meaning of investment if you read in dictionary.

Something that considered fashion investment is item that timeless. Like Chanel bags, you'll never get bored. Always great for every occasion and all eyes on you. Birkin too. Even there's a paraphrase "honey, it's not a bag, it's a Birkin". Look how beautiful & magnificent it is!

Shit, this isn't suppose to be in my "last monday" post. But I'm just writing what spin in my head right now. Fashion becomes obsession. I stopped by at Louboutin's store at Plaza Indonesia. My blood was running cold after I try them AND saw the tag price. 1 pair of Louboutin cost 15mill IDR (US$ 1500) at the lowest. Even I saw this gorgeous ankle boots with irritating price US$ 4900. It just made me want to vomit.

Now I can only dreamin them. But one day, who knows? :p

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another thought

another thought

I heard a pretty shocking news last week. One girl that I knew, made a confession to me that she was just losing her virginity.

It left me speechless. I never thought she would do stupid stuff like that to a man that seeing her for only 3 months!

OK its her decision to did that, she has right of course.
But..

Am I the only one who still virgin? I felt like one century behind. But I'm proud of it anyway.



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Random

Random

I've been busy till I don't have enough time to write on my blog. Actually a lot of thing happened recently.

Here's 1 thought, although I'm 22 now, I'm still depend on someone else. Especially my boyfriend. If I were him, things seem very secure. I feel I'm in a "safe zone". Cos I have him by my side. And he is the man that I can count on everything. I mean everything. He is a very multi-tasking man I've ever met in my whole life. He fills my decay, my flaw. I have difficulty of remember the roads, he is very great at it. He's great at Jakarta's roads too. When I didn't have much time to got my hair done, he done it for me. And he cook too. He could look after my lil brother when I was busy shopping at mall. He's great at technical things too. He's capable of everything. He completes me. He's just a perfect man whom will spend the rest of my life with.

The worse thing is, I get used to with those situations for almost 7 years. And it makes me stay in the green zone till I lose my own self. Cos he handles everything. Last night, when he said he prefer to spend the holiday wiv his family instead my family, made me devastated. I realize that I can't be on and on like this, trap in this situation.

What if the person you depend on the most is not around anymore? We have to be prepare for the worst, haven't we?

Wow that is one heavy thought. For me, at least. Its like a slap in the face.




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Happy Wedding Herry and Grace

Happy Wedding Herry and Grace

wiv my darling D

The family portrait

The after party

Wines and XO

me!

Last Sunday, my brother Herry tied the knot to his loved one Grace..
I'm sooooo happy for them!! They made a perfect couple. I even cried at the church, cos it was very very touching, everyone's cried..

They held an outdoor party which was a pretty bad idea, considering the weather nowadays. And guess what? It was raining, they did the wedding kiss over the rain, I found it romantic :) and they stopped the rain! How amazing was that?

And there was an after party!! I gone wild and lose control. Damn. I fell in the toilet and left scar on my back. I didn't even remember every single word I said. Well, everyone did it in the party. Even my parents get drunk, and also, the bride & the groom too.
The party was FUN! Will post the pics soon! Btw, the pics are in my FB. There are 119!


HAPPY WEDDING for Herry & Grace!! Hope you both will live happily forever after xxxxxxxxx wealthy & have 10 kids. LoL



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December

December

Well its December already!!
I'm so glad when it comes to December. Holiday is around the corner, Christmas & New Year Eve makes December become one of the happiest month of the year. (This is my 2nd Christmas btw)

Check out www.elfyourself.com. The site is fab! We can elf ourselves & send it to our loved ones. I always send them to my family. Its a joke actually, a lovely joke for Xmas.

And yeah, new month for me means new shopping list. This month is different than the others, cos now I have goals and I have to save my money more than spend it. So I choose very carefully what I NEED, not WANT.

1. Xmas Gifts
I'll buy one for Dieter, his sister Imelda, and his mom. But still wondering what should I buy?

2. SK-II
-Facial Treatment Cleanser (I swear its already empty)

actually I really need the product who can minimize the pores, cos u know, big pore is the home of blackhead! Hate it so muchhhhh!! Earlier this month, I tried 1 treatment, it hurts so bad, called laser treatment. Now its getting better a BIT, cos I have to do that regularly for the best result. Despite it hurts, the treatment is quite expensive too. I plan to do it once in two months.

Do you know what's the best product to minimize the pores? Meanwhile, I'll buy the SK's product. Hope it helps.

3. Head piece
I don't really NEED this, but I think its CUTE!! You know the big flower that stick in your head. Stuff like that. OK I'll buy the cheap one.

4. HAIRCUT
Really really need it so so bad. I haven't cut my hair since January! I want a long hair like Lindsay Lohan, but I think I need to trim it although I don't have split ends. I need a new hairstyle. I'll cut my hair at Jakarta. I love Natalie from Peter Saerang salon. Any other recommendations?

5. Holiday
This is not important, but maybe I'll take a short trip, (I still don't know where will I go). Let my parents pay the bill :p LOL. (Hope so)

6. Leather Jacket!!
Still wants it so bad. Haven't found what I like. There's one at zara that fancied me, but its 3mill IDR. No eff-in way.

That's a wrap. Have a blessed December y'all!!
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Happy go LUCKY

Happy go LUCKY

Today's topic is: LUCKY.

Do you believe there's such thing as "lucky"?
I mean, whoa.. I ever read there was someone who found cash on his wall, when he tried to fix it. Or someone who make/have some money without pushing themselves too hard, like heiress, for instant. And they who survive from car accident or even plane crash.

Can we consider them as a lucky person? We often said, "oh it's just their luck (or my luck)". Does it only coincidence? Have u ever think that there's a purpose behind every events? We called them fate.

I still haven't so sure about this, to be honest.. But this thing make me furious and want to know more what's behind someone "luckyNESS"
I saw and old man rode his "becak". In his age, he should take a rest and enjoy his life, but he still works hard, for the sake of his family. Meanwhile, there's also a man (same age with him) who live a happy, wealthy life, and retired

Do this thing relates to karma? Bad karma, good karma, you name it. What you do now will be what you get in the future. Buddhist have kind of belief that all dead men will get a punishment. They believe in reincarnation & have strong belief in karma.

They do believe that if one family (either the father/mother) have done bad to people, or had a bad behavior (swindler, heavy gambler, a cheater, etc), the "punishment" will address to their children & children's children. On and on until the punishment over. Scary, doesn't it?

Do u ever think why there r such animals like cockroaches, rats, mosquito? Maybe they're a reincarnation from someone who have bad karma. Yeah, believe it or not, it happens. (IMO)

My temporary conclusion is: LUCKY factor relates to KARMA. I believe that everyone deserve to be lucky, depend on how they manage their life.
Have I write about this before? I really love this quotation.

If you want happiness for an hour -- go shopping
If you want happiness for a day -- go fishing.
If you want happiness for a month -- get married.
If you want happiness for a year -- inherit a fortune.
If you want happiness for a lifetime -- help people.

So, start your good karma today!!
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nostalgia

nostalgia

First post in Bahasa :)

Skrg gw lagi seneng banget dengerin lagu2 Indonesia jaman dulu,, ternyata mau lagu Barat, mau lagu Indo, semuanya enakan lagu2 dulu yah...
Trus tiba2 gw teringat tentang memori jaman dulu, waktu itu gw ngotot ke dieter, "kenapa sih kamu ga pernah kasi aku CD yg isinya lagu2 romantis?" Gw dulu pas jaman SMA dengan bodohnya masih mengagungkan keromantisan dalam suatu hubungan (cape deh). Haha... Dieter bilang, "buat apa? Buat apa mulut manis tapi gak setia? Buat apa kasih bunga & puisi? Gw akan kasih kamu bukti, bukan kata-kata, ataupun bunga"
OK. kata gw dalam hati. sembari masih ngedumel aja... Ugh, sirik juga liat cewe2 lain yg suka dikasih bunga ama pacarnya... haha

Suatu malam, dia tiba2 bawa CD ini, pas kita lagi di mobil dia ngomong, nih ada lagu buat kamu... (gw: GR.. lagu apa yah kira2? uda mikirnya lagu2 romantisnya Kenny Rogers, ato apapun lah yg cinta cintaan, Kahitna kek, dll). Pas waktu didengerin, tau ga lagu apa? BIP!! Gedubrak.... BIP? Ipank? R u kidding me... Mana romantisnya. Tapi setelah denger lagunya, gw gak bisa berenti nangis loh.... Lagunya cuma pake gitar, dengan suara rocker nya Ipank!!

Dieter bilang, dia gak suka puisi, gak bisa bahasa Inggris. Tapi pas denger lagu Bintang Hidupku ini, dia jadi langsung inget gw. Krn lagunya dia banget.. Dia ga suka ungkapin secara kaku, nah lagu ini tuh memangnya jujur dan tidak dibuat2. straight to the point. Mau tau?

aku selalu bernyanyi lagu yg engkau ciptakan, kau nyanyikan
dan aku slalu ikuti semua cerita tentangmu, hari-harimu

kau jadi inspirasiku, semangat hidup
di kala aku sedih, di kala aku senang
saat sendiri dan kesepian
kau bintang di hatiku

apapun yg kau lakukan, baik dan buruk bagiku tetap indah
tak satupun alasan untuk melupakanmu, meninggalkanmu

aku slalu berdiri mendukungmu
di kala engkau terbang di kala engkau jatuh
sampai mati ku kan tetap setia

aku slalu berdiri di blakangmu
di kala kau dipuja, di kala kau dihina
sampai mati ku kan tetap membela

kau tetap bintangku
kau lah superstar ku...

*speechless*

gw cari2 di UTube gak ada v-clip nya.. ada sih yg upload an orang, tapi jijay deh..
Gpp lah gw post aja link nya bagi yg pengen tau lagunya kaya apa,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZUn28vcWe1w

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17 again

17 again

I had a fabulous saturday night..

Me & Dieter kinda tired wiv our Saturdays routine. Usually we just go to the cinema, dinner, mall to mall, cafe to cafe, and go home. That's all. BORING! Last night, we have a plan to watch 2012, but the traffic was CRAZY. Jammed everywhere!!

Finally we decided to park our car @ riau junction, then we walked all the way.. From trunojoyo street, to sultan agung to riau street back & forth. We really enjoyed it, since this rarely happened in Bandung. We stopped by at my former high school, Aloysius. O Geez how I miss those moments & places. We remembered bout "the high school craziness", here, there, and everything in between. There were loads of memories happened at that place. Including one time when my bf visited me everyday & we lunch together. And he fought wiv certain teachers cos he got into my school without permission, the uniform was different, he wore the orange shoes, orange belt, and even with pierced lips & tongue. No wonder my teachers always mad everytime they look at him. And, OMG I couldn't believe I was dating him!! Haha2. I just thought he was so cool.. And very nice guy. He's unique, and has an amazing personality & style, so gentle. Haha.

LOL moments.. How we so rebellious back in the days..
We thought we always right, like all 17 y.o do.
We fought against teachers by broke the rules. I wore a non appropriate uniform, mini skirt & mini shirt. I skipped school wiv my girlfriends, and lucky me, I was the one who never get caught in the act. Haha2. I was the secretary, remember?

Despite all those crazy moments, I missed being a clever, active girl, which I never be. I always the girl who make mistakes, break the rules, and all. I wish I was an OSIS girl. I always end up be a secretary or "bendahara" that's all. I wish I can take some serious positions. But that's waaay too late. High school will always be high school. We couldn't repeat or rewind it. That's one of the important part of our live where we tried to find our self esteem, and goals, and (maybe) our soulmate, like I did. How we must deal wiv lotsa things, like school, friendship, teachers, parents, bla bla bla.

OMG I wanna be 17 again.

Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone from Sinyal Bagus XL, Nyambung Teruuusss...!

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This is It!

This is It!

Have you guys watch This Is It movie?

When I woke up in the morning on October 28, the first thing came to my mind was: I gotta see MJ's movie!!! So the next day I went to the movies with my bf. He's a huge fan too. We listen to MJ's music all the time.

I must begin by saying that the world has lost one of the greatest artists of a life time. MJ is not only a dancer or a singer, but he is an absolute genius.. The movie was made and edited in a very professional way and it was a great wonderful tribute to MJ.... I was very thrilled to watch the movie and I was more than excited while watching it.. I had tears in my eyes throughout the movie (especially the Jackson 5 part, when he sang I'll Be There, and of course my all time fave: Man In The Mirror)

He showed us in the movie what does a TRUE ARTIST really mean. With all the technology that the world has made, yet MJ was using the true talent that he posses. words can't describe his talent and the way the movie was done..

We all wish that this concert were held because it would've been a great hit. MJ is a true believer and we all believed in him no matter what. this movie proved the great talent that he has and proved the amazing things that he can and could've done.

I couldn't imagine how AMAZING the concert would be. I love Smooth Criminal, They Don't Care About Us, Thriller, and not forget to mention Billy Jean & Beat It. I love them to bits. The dancing, the music, the lightings, and all looked spectacular.

But if you notice, MJ was painfully thin when rehearsed for his concert. I didn't know whether he pushed himself too hard or whatsoever. He just looked very very Thin for me, I feel very sorry for him..

If I keep on writing I won't stop. so let me say that YOU MUST SEE THIS MOVIE.. and GOD REST HIS SOUL IN PEACE. LET'S ALL FOLLOW HIS ADVICES AND CONTINUE WITH THIS MESSAGE IN SAVING THE WORLD AND LOVING EACH OTHER.

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Never Clip My Wings

Never Clip My Wings

I believe that nothing very very good and nothing very very bad lasts very very long.
all things come to an end. That's the circle of life. And I don't wanna end up like this. I'm trying to enjoy my whole life now. BUT I'm being under pressure, to be honest. Although I said I began to love my job, but part of it was a LIE. and I've just realized that I can't lie to my own self and pretend that I love my job. Before I sleep, I always figure out what had happened on that day. And geez, I feel like I don't have a soul anymore, especially in my job.

I must take care all my Dad's business without really took a time to learn. I'm learning by doing. I was inexperienced. And his factory is complicating. Very complicating. And my Dad dictates me, instead of teach me. Maybe if I've given chance & time to learn, I'd be glad. Everything can went wrong on first month you work at a new workplace. But my Dad didn't accept faults. All has to be PERFECT in his eyes. And he's doing nothing except dictate me. This situation begin to freaking me out. What should I do?

Feel like I'm in a cage, with my feet tie to a ball & chain, I barely move.
I hope I can find what I truly want someday. If this has to be my fate, than be it. God, can u please open my Dad's heart? Let him be kinder & wiser. He's known as a wise guy in his big family, but how can he treat me like this? He wants me to learn, but let him teach me in the right way.

And Dad, please... NEVER CLIP MY WINGS

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It's getting serious

It's getting serious

My relationship with Dieter finally reach the next level. I'm not saying we're getting marry, but now we have some goals and we will fight for it.
We've just survived (and WON!) from the battle with my parents. And now we have to move on to higher place.

Shortly, we start to saving money from now on. We'll make a bank account together, and we'll routinely save our income there. We have dreams. And it'll need a lot of hard work, blood, sweat, and tears to achieve them. Cos none will help us except ourselves.

We're about throwing away our date night at fancy cafe, expensive lunch, and every short trips. For myself personally, I have to say goodbye to bags and shoes which I love the most. Aimless shopping spree, and useless stuff which I often buy. Dieter too, he has to repress his automotive hobby. I have to resist my shopping temptation and waiting for the bigger surprise in front of us! (Birkin, maybe? Nah I'm kidding)

The point is, we NEED to control our money intake & outtake. I'm so jealous with Dieter's financial skill. He was naturally born to be a saver. He can keep his money. He bought golds for his investment, he never gambles, he always use his money wisely. Contrary with me. *blushing* Most of my money goes to things (read: investments) like fashion items, and for facial care, and good foods, and gym. I HAVE TO STOP. And follow Dieter's footsteps.

Well I learned a lot from him, and I feel so much better with myself now. I only buy the things that I NEED, not WANT. (At least I'm trying to) -> I consider leather jacket and ankle boots are investments.

But then again, we HAVE GOALS we want to reach. Dieter said, if we keep trying, then what we've dreaming of will come closer and closer. I truly believe in that.

The dream is exactly there in front of our eyes. It's all depend on US. Love you baby


x♡x♡

Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone from Sinyal Bagus XL, Nyambung Teruuusss...!

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It feels like forever

It feels like forever

I can't believe what is happening to me. So my boyfreind is out of town for about three days, for business trip, which I should not worry about (it's only business and he went with 2 other MEN).
I hate to say goodbye, even for three days. There's a hidden tears left behind my eyes when I waved hand to him before he go. He seemed pretty sad too. God!! but I have to admit that I am an -easily burst into tears- kinda girl. I cried a lot. When I see sad movies (especially the one that relates to death and parents-children relationship) I always prepare a box of tissue. LOL. I even cried when I listening to sad songs, or even romantic songs. I suddenly imagine how it would be if I'm the character in those songs. Ridiculous.

Back to the topic, so this weekend I'm all alone. I'll go out with the girls and attend their graduation. (Some of my friends will be graduate tomorrow). And still, I have some work to do. And 1 thing that I learn for sure: you NEVER realize how you love someone after they go. I truly feel it now. Although it only business trip, and only last in three days, but it feels like forever. Can u imagine what if the person you love will gone forever?


P.S. missing you so much Dieter
. x♡x♡.




Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone from Sinyal Bagus XL, Nyambung Teruuusss...!

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I'M CRAVING OF....


1. Leather Jacket
I think it really cool to wear a leather jacket.
But when and where should I wear it in Indonesia? I really want it!! Should I buy it?


2. new jeans

yesterday i went to jakarta and i couldn't find a jeans that fitted in me. I used to buy random jeans. if I liked the color or the model then I'd bought it. But now I find what's the meaning behind the jeans. They have to FIT in you (in your ass also). Good material is also important. I have 2 or 3 good jeans, I'm not calling the rest of them are bad, but after I watch it minutely, I fund out that my jeans were all crap beside those 3. LOL. So I need the new one. I wanna ripped the old ones too. Anyone knows how?

3. boots


Here's the fact: I have short legs and I'm a big boned kind a girl. But I insist to wear an ankle boots. I already tried it everywhere on every shoes stores, but I haven't get an ankle boots that suit with my legs! UGH. Actually I'm not prioritizing it.



4. lingerie
I'm craving wiv this cos it's so comfy. I almost wear them every night and I think I need to purchase the new one.

5. make upI want to complete my make up! I wanna take a make up courses!

that's all for today (i think)

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working now

working now

curent mood: tired

my new job at my Dad's company is not bad after all. Despite of long drive (about 1.5 hours from my home), I begin to like it. I was trying hard to love my job.
His company is all about textile industry. We produced raw material for bed sheets, for sofa, etc. I mean, this is NOT what I wanted. Sitting behind a desk, and take care all of our goods (both quality and quantities), the biggest challenge is to manage people. And 1 more thing, to create a new system and modernizes the old system. If I say old, I mean we have a very ancient system. This company built about 30 years ago and until now the system haven't significantly changed. Can u believe it?
And my task is to reconstruct the system.

Worse is, I never want all of this. I'd rather be an make up artist, or a fashion editor in magazine. I know people will call me stupid, but that's what I always want to do. But my family don't take a NO for an answer. If my Dad want something, then be it. They never allow me to attend a short make up courses. I feel undeveloped. I feel empty. But my boyfriend always give me supports. Everything happens for reasons. That cliche quote start working now. I have 1 little sister and 1 (very) little brother. I hope my sacrifice can bring good things to them. I really wanna see they success in what they do. I promise to myself, I never push them to something they don't like. If my sister wanna be a dancer, I'll support her. Cos I know exactly how the feeling to do something that I don't like.

O God I hope I can through this.

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