Chasing Intan

Thanks to God I didn't go through such horrible weeks in my early pregnancy. Morning sickness, drowsiness, stomach upset, etc. I just lost my appetite by then and now it's slowly getting better. I managed to stay positive, think positive, act positive, everything that make my baby healthy and happy. But there's an exception like today, when I loathe myself so so much, I don't want to look at my reflection in the mirror.. When on happier day, I can sit in front of it for hours. They say pregnancy can cause a terrible mood swing.. But I have a reason for my negativity today. I just feel so idiot. For not continuing pursue my dream, both as writer and make up artist. It's always been that first step. And a fear of failure that haunted me. I guess I can do it, but I don't wanna do it cos I'm spoiled. I have a very loving, kind husband. You can say I'm in a safest, greenest zone now. I have him as my shelter, my rock, a place to hide, to hang on to. Be...

There's a first time in everything. Today marked as the day we give away angpao to those who close with our hearts. People whom we love and admire. Those who gave angpao to us every CNY :) especially our parents. The year of dragon passed in a blink of an eye. So many things happened. First of all we bought a house, then our engagement, unexpected pre-wed, Dieter's expanding business, Ci Imel also bought a house nearby and got engaged as well.. She will later move to Surabaya with her dear husband. And then our wedding back in November. Dieter bought his first sport bike (thanks to bali trip! haha) and Last but not least, me getting pregnant towards the end of 2012! What a yearrrrr!!! It's like we always run instead of walk. We are really grateful for what we have done and achieve. Hoping for a more peaceful year perhaps? But with my labor and all, I kinda doubt that haha. Well we'll see what the water snake brings us! Happy Chinese New Year to those who celeb...

I just spent two wholly hours to watch YouTube videos. This time, not Amy's videos unfortunately (sorry Ames!)  With full bravery, I typed "give birth naturally" on the search tab. Now THAT , my friend, considered to be one of bravest thing I've ever done. Cos the outcome was totally totally...... Indescribable. Curious? Go watch it yourself (if you dare) Ha!  I went from give birth at hospital bed, give birth at home, to give birth on swimming pool, give birth on birthing pool... all the way to give birth while standing. Call me lunatic, but I couldn't help to watch it one by one. YouTube always has this smart "suggested videos" thumbnails so the story will go on and on until my hubby said, "CAN YOU STOP THAT?" His reaction went from "Ooh..." "Aah..." to "Eww.." "Yuck" until he couldn't take it no more. LOL  But the (cough) pinnacle of this birthing madness, was when I caught one video t...