Skip to main content

it's been a long time

dear blog

I haven't write to you for a while.
There are many stories that I passed these recent weeks. And it seems, Blackberry could not help me much to not ignore my darling blog.


Anyway... Enough is enough. Let's start writing.
On Tuesday, I went to Jakarta with my boyfriend. I accompanied him to the airport, cos he would sent his goods to Ambon. Along the way, I looked at him, and I realize that how lucky I am to have him in my life. My mind flew to a time what would I be if I never meet him? Maybe I'm still a Daddy's little girl who knows nothing about struggle, about achievement, and about life. I kept saying this in my blog cos I'm very thankful to have him. He's on his way to 23, but his experience, his mental, his ideology, has gone too far from his age.

One thing that I never understand, why my Dad do not respect him? Just because he's not a multi-million dollar man? Or is it because he's not coming from a "big" family?
I never see a man from what cars he own and how thick his wallet, Dad. Cos those things don't last forever. I see a man from the way he treat me, his vision, his heart, his brain, his responsible. My boyfriend has it all. While everyone in his circumstances said that someday he'll be the next big thing, buthow come did you stay blind? Did he ever hurt you? Did he ever hurt me? NO. Please give him some respect. I'm glad that he's still patient regarding your behaviour. But what if someday he give up and leave me because of you? Can you bring me a better man? What kind of man should I have a relationship with? You're the one who said that money isn't everything, you're the one who said that I have to look for a grown up man who have a dream and trying hard to achieve it. Now I have him, but why you abandoned him?

Time goes by so fast, and if one day he propose me and you deny him, I'll run with him.
Dad, I just want to said one thing, if you sure that his future will be like you imagine, I mean 100% EXACTLY the same as you imagine (which consider that you're a God), then I'll be following you. If not, I'll go with him. He's the love of my life, he's my only lover, and he's the one whom I'll spend the rest of my life with. This called, a TRUE LOVE. Not like you & Mom. It's all a never ending drama. Everyone in our family always put the game face mode *on. Oh I have to be this, I need to be that, and all. But it's a shame that we can never be 100% ourselves!
No no, don't ever think that, you both are great parents, but I'm sorry to say that you're not the best. Best parents support their children, not just demand us to be A B C without supporting us. Best parents always tell the truth. Best parents hear what their children said and want. Best parents teach their children about life, and introduce them to a God. Best parents sacrifice for the sake of their family, not egoist.
I'm so grateful to have you in my life, but a parent also a human, who can make sins, who can do wrong. You're not perfect, Dad. Please let me express myself. I don't even have a freedom of speech! How can I get closer to heaven?

Please God, open my Dad's eyes.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

anger & depression

Have you ever feel that you're the dumbest, stupidest person on earth? I did some terrible mistakes most of my life, feel like I can do nothing right.. I always wrong. Although I always tell everyone my slogan " absolutely no regrets ". But actually, there are several things that I wish I didn't do. I wish I can study more, I wish I exercise more, I wish I'm not a forgetful girl and can remember every single thing that ever happened in my life, I wish I wish I wish.. Many things I've missed in my whole life. I've messed it up and now I regret it. FFS, please forget those trashy feeling!!! back to reality.......... I've two new best-friends right now. It called "Anger" and "Depression". This "anger" and "depression" always track me down nowadays. Especially when I near my deadline, whether it's essay or Pre-Order on my OL shop. It's just... Frustrating. Sometimes I thought, can I do this alone? But than my...

our day has come

I choose you for life. I promise you my deepest love, my fullest devotion, my tenderest care through the pressures of the present and the uncertainties of the future. I promise to be faithful to you  I promise to love you, to commit to you, and support you. I pledge to respect your unique talents and abilities,  to lend you strength for all of your dreams. You have shown me what love feels like and for that I thank you. You are everything I need and at this moment I know all of my prayers have been answered and that all of my dreams have come true. I praise God for you, for all your love and constant friendship. I know that our love is heaven sent  and I promise to be here for ever and always. From this day forward, you shall not walk alone. My heart will be your shelter and my arms will be your home. As I have given you my hand to hold, I give you my life to keep.  Intan Juliana 17112012

still..

current mood : still upset Every children biggest dream would always be make their parents proud. Including me. But how? Many whispers came to my ear that said, "Go ahead and find your place at your Dad's Co.", "Why wasting more time with useless job?", "Don't ever try to work in a -desperately-needing-investment Bank!", and blah and blah and blah. Dude I really wanna show my Dad that I can earn myself money. Now my new car is on its way to my garage doesn't mean I'm fully happy. I mean, I feel very grateful with my Dad's present, but I realize that it will burden me. How long until I can earn my own money? Let's rewind to two years ago, when my friends busy to get a part-time job. This "part-time job" means SPG (Sales Promotion Girl), or Bridesmaid (at someone else's wedding), or Wedding Organizer's crew. That's all we can do for our status as a under-graduate student. Nothing else more and nothing else better...