Skip to main content

it's been a long time

dear blog

I haven't write to you for a while.
There are many stories that I passed these recent weeks. And it seems, Blackberry could not help me much to not ignore my darling blog.


Anyway... Enough is enough. Let's start writing.
On Tuesday, I went to Jakarta with my boyfriend. I accompanied him to the airport, cos he would sent his goods to Ambon. Along the way, I looked at him, and I realize that how lucky I am to have him in my life. My mind flew to a time what would I be if I never meet him? Maybe I'm still a Daddy's little girl who knows nothing about struggle, about achievement, and about life. I kept saying this in my blog cos I'm very thankful to have him. He's on his way to 23, but his experience, his mental, his ideology, has gone too far from his age.

One thing that I never understand, why my Dad do not respect him? Just because he's not a multi-million dollar man? Or is it because he's not coming from a "big" family?
I never see a man from what cars he own and how thick his wallet, Dad. Cos those things don't last forever. I see a man from the way he treat me, his vision, his heart, his brain, his responsible. My boyfriend has it all. While everyone in his circumstances said that someday he'll be the next big thing, buthow come did you stay blind? Did he ever hurt you? Did he ever hurt me? NO. Please give him some respect. I'm glad that he's still patient regarding your behaviour. But what if someday he give up and leave me because of you? Can you bring me a better man? What kind of man should I have a relationship with? You're the one who said that money isn't everything, you're the one who said that I have to look for a grown up man who have a dream and trying hard to achieve it. Now I have him, but why you abandoned him?

Time goes by so fast, and if one day he propose me and you deny him, I'll run with him.
Dad, I just want to said one thing, if you sure that his future will be like you imagine, I mean 100% EXACTLY the same as you imagine (which consider that you're a God), then I'll be following you. If not, I'll go with him. He's the love of my life, he's my only lover, and he's the one whom I'll spend the rest of my life with. This called, a TRUE LOVE. Not like you & Mom. It's all a never ending drama. Everyone in our family always put the game face mode *on. Oh I have to be this, I need to be that, and all. But it's a shame that we can never be 100% ourselves!
No no, don't ever think that, you both are great parents, but I'm sorry to say that you're not the best. Best parents support their children, not just demand us to be A B C without supporting us. Best parents always tell the truth. Best parents hear what their children said and want. Best parents teach their children about life, and introduce them to a God. Best parents sacrifice for the sake of their family, not egoist.
I'm so grateful to have you in my life, but a parent also a human, who can make sins, who can do wrong. You're not perfect, Dad. Please let me express myself. I don't even have a freedom of speech! How can I get closer to heaven?

Please God, open my Dad's eyes.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

anger & depression

Have you ever feel that you're the dumbest, stupidest person on earth? I did some terrible mistakes most of my life, feel like I can do nothing right.. I always wrong. Although I always tell everyone my slogan " absolutely no regrets ". But actually, there are several things that I wish I didn't do. I wish I can study more, I wish I exercise more, I wish I'm not a forgetful girl and can remember every single thing that ever happened in my life, I wish I wish I wish.. Many things I've missed in my whole life. I've messed it up and now I regret it. FFS, please forget those trashy feeling!!! back to reality.......... I've two new best-friends right now. It called "Anger" and "Depression". This "anger" and "depression" always track me down nowadays. Especially when I near my deadline, whether it's essay or Pre-Order on my OL shop. It's just... Frustrating. Sometimes I thought, can I do this alone? But than my...

still..

current mood : still upset Every children biggest dream would always be make their parents proud. Including me. But how? Many whispers came to my ear that said, "Go ahead and find your place at your Dad's Co.", "Why wasting more time with useless job?", "Don't ever try to work in a -desperately-needing-investment Bank!", and blah and blah and blah. Dude I really wanna show my Dad that I can earn myself money. Now my new car is on its way to my garage doesn't mean I'm fully happy. I mean, I feel very grateful with my Dad's present, but I realize that it will burden me. How long until I can earn my own money? Let's rewind to two years ago, when my friends busy to get a part-time job. This "part-time job" means SPG (Sales Promotion Girl), or Bridesmaid (at someone else's wedding), or Wedding Organizer's crew. That's all we can do for our status as a under-graduate student. Nothing else more and nothing else better...

if the house always wins, why gamble?

As we all aware of, every single person I know are busy talking about the 2010 FIFA WORLD CUP. After a huge ceremony last week at South Africa, men in our houses were suddenly disappeared. Either for watch the ball game with their friends or spend the night at the coffee shop, or even just watch at home, they were disappeared. Both physically & mentally. Yes ladies, for one wholly month. I don't know what's wrong with their anxious & curiosity to watch it. But it seems, some of them (or all of them?) are taking too seriously about this issue. Because some of them (or all them?) are gambling! Gamble also known as: –verb (used without object) 1. to play at any game of chance for money or other stakes. 2. to stake or risk money, or anything of value, on the outcome of something involving chance: to gamble on a toss of the dice. –verb (used with object) 3. to lose or squander by betting (usually fol. by away ): He gambled all...