marriage course

Marriage course! 

My fiance and I, we attended this marriage course in our hometown. We went there with faith and open mind. We took front row seat for three days (six hours each) and we left with no regret. Moreover, with loads of knowledge and power to carry on our marriage in future. Everything seems right when we done it in a right way. And we're so glad we had a chance to attend it. For all marriage couples out there, feel free to take this with pinch of salt. Nevertheless, this is only theory.. Reality bites. But I'm gonna share it anyway.

At first we have to introduce our partner to the crowd. Yes with microphone. Do tell his/her name, hobby, reasons you love him/her in a first place. My dear Dieter said that I am a shoe freak, and my one and only hobby is collecting shoes. I'm sure my face turned reddish that day. I love shoes, I really do. But I thought he's gonna said something nice like writing and stuff. Well OK. So everyone in the room stared at my feet. I feel humiliated.

There are a few subjects, but right now I'm just gonna explain briefly about marriage and having children in general. Of course there some other subjects that equally important like financial and sex, but I decided to postpone it since it's such sensitive issues.

Here we G O.. 

ON MARRIAGE

1. There are four keys to an everlasting marriage: commitment, consistent, consequence, persistent. (You'll stuck with me forever baby. Till death do us part!)
2. Answer these following questions: 
   • What if your other half suffers from a serious illness during your marriage? (What do you expect me to do, leave him? No flippin way. Nothing's change. I'll take care of him with ALL my heart)
   • What if your other half cheat on you? (Sorry but..This.is.intolerable. If he's cheating on me then please, to the left - to the left. Like Beyonce sings) I argued it's unforgivable but the counselors said the otherwise. Well maybe they never had their heart broken? Or their partner never cheat on them?
   • What if you suddenly lose your feeling to him/her? (I don't think it'll occur to me. I've been faithfully walked this journey with him for almost 10 years.. So what's 50 more?)
   • What if there are third-party that officious you? Be it your in-laws, parents, etc. (in negative way) (They're always there, that's what I believe in. And I also believe in smile and nod.)
     
   • What if your partner's behavior change? (in negative way) (I will ask myself first, am I being a pain in the arse?)
   • What if you can't have kids? (We made deal ages ago, just pack our bags and explore the world)
   • What if you're turn out to be unhappy with your marriage? (I'll remember the reasons why I want to marry him in a first place. And retrospect. Retrospect.)
3.  Healthy and happy marriage composition:
   • Unconditional love
   • Faithfulness, fidelity
   • Mutuality relationship
   • Generosity
   • Intimacy
   • Permanency
   • Willingness to sacrifice
4. The main purposes of marriage: sharing, serving, forgiving.
5. The essences of love:
   • Self donation
   • Sacrifice
   • Self denial
   • Self emptiness
   • Forgiveness
   • Seek kindness and happiness for your loved one
   • Freedom and liberating 

    6.  Find out your partner's "love language". There are five of it according to Gary Chapman:  (I hope I'm not being an ungrateful partner if I tick all of the points below)

• Words of affirmation
• Quality time
• Receiving gifts
• Acts of service
• Physical touch

ON HAVING CHILDREN

1. This is a MUST SEE video (subtitled in bahasa). I tried to holding back my tears in class when I watched this. How big our God... 

2. Children see.. Children do. YOU are their only role models. Then be a good one. Whatever happens to them, you are the one to blame. Because children are the true impersonator. They're just a piece of white paper. It is your task to draw and color it your way..

3. Things that should be avoided when you're having children:

• Over protective
• Dominating
• Parent's ambition
• Favoritism
• Denial
• Spoil

This is just my wishful thinking.. I hope someday if God allows us to have our own child, I won't be having a C section. As matter of fact, I am against that. No matter how many friends tell me that it's easier and less painful and we can even choose the birth date of our child, like 10-11-12 or 08-08-08 (what's the point anyway? you just compare you child's birth date to your cellphone number) I'm still against it. My friend who lives in the US told me that the doctors rarely do a C section there. Instead, they'd be very surprise if you want to do it (without any specific obstacles/illness). I am conventional when it comes to give birth. I hope by the time I get pregnant, I'll have a kind doctor whom support me to give birth naturally.

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However, as I stated before that what I wrote is just a theory. But I feel so lucky to be able attended this course, at least I have a little sneak peek of what marriage life is. Well my personal opinion, you might have these qualities to be a married man/woman, but if you don't have money, dream on honey.. Marriage life is indeed expensive, so beside contemplating the aforementioned advices, you both must be ready financially. I'm not trying to put money above anything, but as I read in one of ladies room, "money is not everything but everything needs money". 

One of many reasons why I postponed the "financial" subject is that I never be a big saver. So who am I to judge about financial issue? Like one of Carrie Bradshaw's quote, "I like my money where I can see them... Hang in my closet" With this habit, I'm highly unlikely a good wifey material, am I? Although bad habit dies hard but trust me, I'm kicking it by the time he put the ring on it. So cheers to the next two months!

Bottom line, marriage life could be either hell or heaven on earth... Depends on how we cope with it.  Just a littlest thing can cause a commotion. Even though we've been together for almost 10 years, but we never live in one roof. So when we get married, we'll write this new chapter together.

You and I... as husband and wife.