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Not today

There are times where I just miss my old self. You know I love dressing up. I love make up. I love getting my hair, nail, and everything in between done. I never been through a "tomboy" phase throughout my life. I'm a girly girl kinda girl :D. 

But of course, I'm a mom now.. I don't have time to pampering myself anymore. My whole life is our family. However, I still make time to trying to "look good" whenever I go out. Again, Mr. D kept telling me that I don't have to do such things. Leave those heels at home, or you don't have to put that much of make up. Or even at some point he asked, "why are you dressing up? We're just about to go brunch." 
"Dressing up" means I only wear my casual dress.. Along with my foundation routine and a very thin eyeliner. And he called it "too much makeup " Arghhh. 

He once said that he love my bare face. My second to sleep face. Where there's only my night cream and eye cream spread into it. He said that I'm kissable and loveable  that way. It's ironic cos when I feel the prettiest, he said that I was the least attractive. "You're like a piece of art, behind a velvet rope at the museum. Untouchable. I don't recognize you." 

Mr.D loves a woman who dress casually. He loves a woman who, without all those things (dress and makeup), would still feel good about herself. Who have a high self confidence and not depend on what she wears. I, on the other hand, you can say I have a very low self esteem. I truly the opposite of his dream woman tbh.. (Then why he made me his wife? Lol) Hence, I still manage to put a little make up and dress up a bit when we go out and about. 

I know what he means.. He wanted me to be a person who never put her game face on. Who can go outside home without filling the eyebrows (that would be the day that NEVER happen!) Who can be happy and content with herself. One time, I saw a woman who just like that. She is smart, has a very promising career, she travels around the globe without toting the latest it bag or even an oran sandal. But still, I looked at her pictures and amazed by her persona. She didn't get her eyebrow done either. But she is confidence and she ruled the world. Maybe that's what Mr. D meant.. If you want to rule the world, then leave your heels at home and wear your confidence. 

Will I ever be that kind of woman? Well...maybe. Someday. But not today. 
Cos I just wore my red lips, highest black heels and a dress that will never see the light of the day.. A.k.a stay in my closet forever. I can imagine what will Mr. D said if I ever wear this dress in front of him. "Are you out of your mind?" Then why I bought it? Cos I wanted to know how I look with those kinda dress :) Haha. There are things that never change! 


But hey, it's okay to being me every now and then! :) 






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