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working now

curent mood: tired

my new job at my Dad's company is not bad after all. Despite of long drive (about 1.5 hours from my home), I begin to like it. I was trying hard to love my job.
His company is all about textile industry. We produced raw material for bed sheets, for sofa, etc. I mean, this is NOT what I wanted. Sitting behind a desk, and take care all of our goods (both quality and quantities), the biggest challenge is to manage people. And 1 more thing, to create a new system and modernizes the old system. If I say old, I mean we have a very ancient system. This company built about 30 years ago and until now the system haven't significantly changed. Can u believe it?
And my task is to reconstruct the system.

Worse is, I never want all of this. I'd rather be an make up artist, or a fashion editor in magazine. I know people will call me stupid, but that's what I always want to do. But my family don't take a NO for an answer. If my Dad want something, then be it. They never allow me to attend a short make up courses. I feel undeveloped. I feel empty. But my boyfriend always give me supports. Everything happens for reasons. That cliche quote start working now. I have 1 little sister and 1 (very) little brother. I hope my sacrifice can bring good things to them. I really wanna see they success in what they do. I promise to myself, I never push them to something they don't like. If my sister wanna be a dancer, I'll support her. Cos I know exactly how the feeling to do something that I don't like.

O God I hope I can through this.

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