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Our world has been surrounded with dark clouds this past month. At least there were two shocking news happened at the same time. First of all, of course the death of Amy Winehouse. And tragedy that happened in Norway. My thoughts goes out to each and every single people whom infected and involved in that, as well as family who lost their loved ones :(

Well the little storm in my family was nothing if compared to them. But I still haven't figure it out. I decided to go home several days ago. My runaway attempt only last fifteen days. A record that shouldn't be broken.. There were many things to consider.. Even though deep in my heart I didn't want to back home, but on the other hand I can't lose my sister and brother. They're all I have.. Mom forbade them to met me. And I was like, wtf. Thank God my brothers supported me, I couldn't thank them enough.. 

I've spoken to a few people whom I trust during those days. Some told me to Stay outside, but some told me to left all my ego behind and came home. I chose the later, and I can't say I regret my decision. I haven't speak with my mom until now. I'm invicible in her eyes. We caught in each other's eyes couple times but we threw our faces away.. I clearly wanted this problem to be fix ASAP, but I can't be the one who apologize. I thought I didn't make any mistakes, well she did. She tortured me with harsh words that really inappropriate to say. My heart is still broken, Ive no idea how long it would heal.. But for now, I'm just treasure the time with my sister and brother.. And think about my future with Dieter. I'll be focus. Like my Dad said, don't think too much about what my Mom's had said. It's so sad that my Dad is actually a very kind-hearted man (like everyone says) but too bad that he's surrounded himself with bad people. I never like his friends, they're like influenced him to do bad things such as partying, drinks, etc. I know he just want to have some fun, but that's not the way to have fun. I always wish that I can spend more time with my Dad and the rest of family. But sometimes Dad is too preoccupied with his friends.. 

Anyway, it feels so good laying in my own bedroom. Although the situation will never come back as it used to be, I try to enjoy the rest of my journey in this house..




PS: Just so you know, I'm still not over Amy's death. Listen to her music every single day and wonder, will I encounter a musician like her again someday? ...