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Leap of faith



The picture was taken right before I checked myself to the OB/GYN.(Girl had to let off her belly stud and that would be one of those "gue pernah kurus" picture.. haha) Later I found out that I was 6 weeks pregnant (I'm about to enter my ninth weeks now)
Words cannot describe how I Felt. Excited, grateful, happy, and scared at same time. Am I ready for this?! Being a mother is lifetime commitment. I think I'm overthinking things, but so many what-ifs flying in mind.

It's not Intan if don't loaded with self doubts. But hey, is this what I've been dreaming of! I just don't expect it will come sooner than later. Since I got married, I only had my period once. I mean, I'm still newbie in this intimacy world. We barely knew (let alone explore) about sex and boom, I got pregnant right away. Friends teasing me, they said that they expect it cos we've been together for almost 10 years without sex involved. Ha-Ha.

I rarely updated my blog because I have new activity to do, filling the other blog. It's a book actually. A book that I wrote (with my handwriting). The concept is I want to write all about my pregnancy journey, I glued all my USG printed result one by one, page by page... along with my two test packs (when the first time I found out I was unofficially pregnant). Shortly, I'm writing a book for my future baby.. In hoping (s)he will read it someday... And (s)he will know my journey, how I miss my baby every single day, dying to meet him/her, my dreams, my prayers.  I wrote how I felt, what happened with me during pregnancy, and sometimes Papa stop by to say hello with his ugly handwriting.. LOL.

In the end, life will never be the same again. Me wearing super tight mini dress is sooo 2012. My ego that larger than the world is one thing that I have to leave behind.
Well this amazing experience is such a leap of faith... It's the end of an era. And I cannot wait any longer to jump in the new one. Motherhood.



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