Chasing Intan

Following last blog post about my son who turned out to be fussy eater.  Artikel demi artikel yang gue baca selama ini rata-rata menyebutkan bahwa GTM itu bisa terjadi karena 2 faktor, psikis dan psikologis. Psikis yang berhubungan dengan fisik, misalnya tumbuh gigi, ga enak badan, sakit tenggorokan, sariawan, dll dll. Kalo psikologis lebih ke faktor psikologis sang anak. Misalnya trauma sendok (karena pernah dicekok obat), atau trauma dimarahin, dll.  Vale ini bisa dibilang lagi ga ada gigi yang mau tumbuh.. Soalnya giginya udah 8 dan keliatannya belum ada gusi yang bengkak. Si bocah pun tetep lincah (pake banget). Apalagi dari sebulan yang lalu udah mahir jalan. Jadi kayanya, GTM kali ini bukan disponsorin sama faktor psikis deh... Jadi apa dong? Psikologis? Dari sekian banyak perasaan yg gue rasain, kok rasa bersalah lah yang paling dominan? Jangan-jangan Vale bisa begini karena gue yang kurang sabar? Apa gue pernah tanpa sengaja ngasih makanan yang terlalu panas? Apa gue p...

Ever since Vale started solid at exactly 6 months ago, all hell breaks lose. Don't get me wrong.. But the perks of having a baby only lasts 6 months.  Because.... Feeding a baby is somewhat tricky. He can eat one full plate of "X" food this morning in barely half an hour. while only in the afternoon he spit almost all of it.  What amazed me, my mood driven by his appetite. I think I've written about this in the last few posts.  It's been almost one month and Vale never made it to clear his plate. Let alone half of it! I was so fuckin stress out I wanted to bury myself. I did everything I could to make him eat his food. Texture, food varieties, finger food, entertainment, new places, new toys, dance regime, songs, you name it. But he just seem lost interest in food. I cried a few times. I know it didn't solve any problem, but at least I feel better. I let go off my emotion. This is strange, but the situation is worse than when someone dump you. Lol. It's a ...

A wise man said, "You can't stop the future, you can't rewind the past. The only way to learn the secret is... Press play"  We had our first huge fight as husband and wife. Let's say he puts all the blame on me. Yes I made mistakes, but there were reasons behind what I've done. I was trying to explained those to him but at first he wouldn't listen. At least I tried. After anger dominating his words and attitude, few hours later he acted like his usual self... Yet, everything couldn't be undone now. Shit happens. Even the most beautiful piece of mirror..is finally wracked. We can put together the pieces but the cracks will always be there.  I'm sorry from the deepest of my heart.. I never meant to hurt you for one second. You are the perfect man, I'm the one who have all the flaws. But please give me one more chance to fix myself once again. I was once a childish person, still am. But I tried to change one baby step at the time. I'll be a be...

Dear anakku Valentino,  tak terasa sudah setahun kamu hadir di dunia ini.. Kamu menjadikan hidup kami begitu berwarna. Kamu membuat hidup kami menjadi lebih berarti. Kamu adalah kebahagiaan yang tidak ternilai harganya. Kamu adalah harapan bagi kami.  Masih belum luput dari ingatan, hari pertama kami membawamu pulang ke rumah. Ada tangis haru bahagia di sana. Sebagai orang tua baru, kami bertekad untuk berjuang sendirian. Papah adalah seseorang yang teramat mandiri, ia tidak mengindahkan bantuan dari orang lain sekecil apapun itu. Prinsipnya, kalau bisa dilakukan sendiri kenapa minta tolong orang lain? Mamah sebaliknya, adalah pribadi yang amat lemah.. Tapi papah selalu menguatkan mamah, bahwa mamah bisa merawat dan membesarkanmu sendiri tanpa bantuan siapapun. Di saat hampir semua orang yang kami kenal memakai jasa suster atau bantuan orang tua, kami memilih untuk berjuang sendiri. Dan hey, we're survived! Dan itu adalah keputusan terbaik yang pernah kami ambil. Menyusuimu ad...