Skip to main content

out of the blue.







One fine morning on the way to work, my boyfriend told me something. It's not like that I expected so yeah, I was a little bit shock. He said, "Maybe we should buy a house". I replied, "What? What's gotten into you? You've said that your priority right now is your business and I'm totally fine with it.." 

He convinced me, "It's not an answer I expect from you.. Don't women suppose to be enthusiast? You're acting weird"

My face burnt. "Is it really what you want?" (bad habit -> too much questioning)

"Yeah. I've been thinking about this lately. Maybe we should start looking for a house... I'm happier when we talk about it, but not marriage. I mean, who knows what I'd be wearing on our wedding day? Or where we celebrate the party, the catering, the band, etc? All I want is you... Us." 

Dead silence. 

I cursed myself for being too serious in thought about what shoes I'd be wearing and even considered to wear a certain style of wedding dress. 

I mean, he's right. The party etc is not important. Where will we live, what will we do, how we cope with each other for the rest of our life are much more important than one night party. 

Back to the conversation

"What do you mean about us getting a house?"

"I can't afford a big, fancy house. But at least it's 100% us. And it's a real evidence that I'm serious with you. It will be a home we live in and raise our kid. Do you think anyone will believe that 25 yo guy buy a house by himself? I'd be so proud. It's my milestone." 

shaking "Is this for real?" 

He said, "Iya...... Intan!  House-hunting is not as easier as it sounds. But when we find it, we will know right away. But we have to stick with the budget." *laughing*

still couldn't believe what I've just heard. A guy that I thought don't believe in marriage said this kind of thing. 
I replied quickly, "OK. What location do you aim? I'm thinking...... xxx " 


-------------------------
He didn't mention one single thing about marriage cos he thought that couple nowadays too busy thinking about the preparation (like pre-wed photoshoots, party, and those things) while they missing the big picture. The minute the party over, the real life welcomes you. What he learned from his friends, they started to looking for side job, or even started to rent (or buy) the house AFTER the party.
"Doesn't it seem idiotic? Why can't we prepare ourselves 100% ready first before step our feet in a bigger responsibility? Why we should in a hurry? The so called rules fool us all. Don't listen too much to people around you, cos when your life gets miserable, would one of them lend a hand and  help us? Party is just one small thing. Untuk sampai di titik Z kita harus ngelewatin A, B, C, dst. Sebelum married tuh pikirin, mau tinggal dimana? Mau makan apa? Punya tabungan ga? Udah siap jadi orangtua belum? Jangan cuma mikirin pesta & yg enak2nya aja. Kecuali kalo kamu pacaran ama orang yg super tajir. Tp klo yg tajir juga gak dewasa & gak bisa usaha & pegang duit mau gimana? Ya bakalan abis juga duit warisannya.. Dan kalo ada orang yg memutuskan mau menikah, ya itu pasti kita sendiri. Karena cuma kita yang tau dan bisa menilai sejauh mana kesiapan kita. Cos marriage is not about "gimana nanti" tapi "nanti gimana. 


Maybe it seems cynical, but it's his point of view and I must admit that I agreed with him at some points. I know some people said if you wait till everything is perfect, so when will you have the courage to take your relationship to the next level? And why my future determined by you? 


Btw. he wanted to buy a house for us was the sweetest thing that ever happened in March. Our anniversary is right around the corner too. I can't be happier. Of course there's still a long road in front of us. We just have to keep our faith and believe... that our home is out there... 

And our thousand miles journey has officially started :)

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

.

I'm shaking as I type this.  After so many years I haven't update my blog, but i feel like now i need it more than ever.  Writing use to be my therapy.  so. my husband died. on 22-11-22 to be exact.  85 days ago  there. i say it.  you won't believe how much courage i've gathered to type this post here. the very blog that witness our journey. from a hopeless teenager, to finally got married, and eventually became parents of two adorable kids. too bad i didn't get a chance to update it more. however i frequently updated my twitter & instagram. so there are traces of our journey there as well.  how do i feel? PAIN. EXCRUCIATING PAIN. A PAIN THAT IMPOSSIBLE TO CURE My heart so tattered that there's nothing more to be torn. He died a sudden death. I won't go into details, at least not now. Our 20 years journey ended abrubtly. there goes our future hopes and dreams. __________________ I begin to questioning the existence of God. We've lead a good life. w...
Post a Comment
Read more

still..

current mood : still upset Every children biggest dream would always be make their parents proud. Including me. But how? Many whispers came to my ear that said, "Go ahead and find your place at your Dad's Co.", "Why wasting more time with useless job?", "Don't ever try to work in a -desperately-needing-investment Bank!", and blah and blah and blah. Dude I really wanna show my Dad that I can earn myself money. Now my new car is on its way to my garage doesn't mean I'm fully happy. I mean, I feel very grateful with my Dad's present, but I realize that it will burden me. How long until I can earn my own money? Let's rewind to two years ago, when my friends busy to get a part-time job. This "part-time job" means SPG (Sales Promotion Girl), or Bridesmaid (at someone else's wedding), or Wedding Organizer's crew. That's all we can do for our status as a under-graduate student. Nothing else more and nothing else better...
10 comments
Read more

W.W-II

My boyfriend and I have been fighting a lot lately.  What the heck is our problem? What is left to fight about? Don't we fight enough? I thought seven-and-a-half years is more than enough to get to know each other. Seven years ago, what we fought about was jealousy. I hate seen him with his female friends (let alone his ex girlfriend!) I hate to accept the fact that he loved his bike more than me, I mad when he late to picked me up. Seven years later, the problems between us are rapidly growing, to some serious ones.  Here comes the question: WHAT KIND OF MOTHER WOULD YOU BE? ...dead silence... That second I thought, holy shit.  How could he ask this weird, tricky, and unimaginable question? Honestly, I couldn't help it. He trapped me.  I muted for a while. Not because I didn't know the answer, of course I want to be not just good, but a GREAT mother (who doesn't anyway?)  But Dieter isn't the type of man who easily satisfied with a shortcoming answer. He nee...
6 comments
Read more