out of the blue.

One fine morning on the way to work, my boyfriend told me something. It's not like that I expected so yeah, I was a little bit shock. He said, "Maybe we should buy a house". I replied, "What? What's gotten into you? You've said that your priority right now is your business and I'm totally fine with it.." 

He convinced me, "It's not an answer I expect from you.. Don't women suppose to be enthusiast? You're acting weird"

My face burnt. "Is it really what you want?" (bad habit -> too much questioning)

"Yeah. I've been thinking about this lately. Maybe we should start looking for a house... I'm happier when we talk about it, but not marriage. I mean, who knows what I'd be wearing on our wedding day? Or where we celebrate the party, the catering, the band, etc? All I want is you... Us." 

Dead silence. 

I cursed myself for being too serious in thought about what shoes I'd be wearing and even considered to wear a certain style of wedding dress. 

I mean, he's right. The party etc is not important. Where will we live, what will we do, how we cope with each other for the rest of our life are much more important than one night party. 

Back to the conversation

"What do you mean about us getting a house?"

"I can't afford a big, fancy house. But at least it's 100% us. And it's a real evidence that I'm serious with you. It will be a home we live in and raise our kid. Do you think anyone will believe that 25 yo guy buy a house by himself? I'd be so proud. It's my milestone." 

shaking "Is this for real?" 

He said, "Iya...... Intan!  House-hunting is not as easier as it sounds. But when we find it, we will know right away. But we have to stick with the budget." *laughing*

still couldn't believe what I've just heard. A guy that I thought don't believe in marriage said this kind of thing. 

I replied quickly, "OK. What location do you aim? I'm thinking...... xxx " 

-------------------------

He didn't mention one single thing about marriage cos he thought that couple nowadays too busy thinking about the preparation (like pre-wed photoshoots, party, and those things) while they missing the big picture. The minute the party over, the real life welcomes you. What he learned from his friends, they started to looking for side job, or even started to rent (or buy) the house AFTER the party.

"Doesn't it seem idiotic? Why can't we prepare ourselves 100% ready first before step our feet in a bigger responsibility? Why we should in a hurry? The so called rules fool us all. Don't listen too much to people around you, cos when your life gets miserable, would one of them lend a hand and  help us? Party is just one small thing. Untuk sampai di titik Z kita harus ngelewatin A, B, C, dst. Sebelum married tuh pikirin, mau tinggal dimana? Mau makan apa? Punya tabungan ga? Udah siap jadi orangtua belum? Jangan cuma mikirin pesta & yg enak2nya aja. Kecuali kalo kamu pacaran ama orang yg super tajir. Tp klo yg tajir juga gak dewasa & gak bisa usaha & pegang duit mau gimana? Ya bakalan abis juga duit warisannya.. Dan kalo ada orang yg memutuskan mau menikah, ya itu pasti kita sendiri. Karena cuma kita yang tau dan bisa menilai sejauh mana kesiapan kita. Cos marriage is not about "gimana nanti" tapi "nanti gimana. 

Maybe it seems cynical, but it's his point of view and I must admit that I agreed with him at some points. I know some people said if you wait till everything is perfect, so when will you have the courage to take your relationship to the next level? And why my future determined by you? 


Btw. he wanted to buy a house for us was the sweetest thing that ever happened in March. Our anniversary is right around the corner too. I can't be happier. Of course there's still a long road in front of us. We just have to keep our faith and believe... that our home is out there... 

And our thousand miles journey has officially started :)