confession

I am insecure, indecisive, and have a very low self-esteem. 

People might think the other way. I guess I played the role well (aha!)

Deep down inside, that's the real me. I always feel like I have nothing to be proud of. 

My boyfriend is all about "what the man should become" and I feel like I don't deserve him. He deserves someone better than me. I keep saying that to myself till I started to hate me even more. He keep saying that I'm alright while I'm not. He embrace me for who I am. But I insist that he's too good to me. I always under estimate myself. 

It wasn't a coincidence that God let me watched Gia. Beside my favorite quote that I previously uploaded on this post, there's another line I like.

 "This is life, not heaven. You don't have to be perfect"

... I never thought in my life I'd be seeing a shrink. I hope that day will never come. 

I know I can get through this. It's about time innit?

P.S
Not that I'm not thankful for what I've got. But I just don't feel like that I'm good enough for everyone around me. One ever told me that I don't have to prove anything to anyone. But why? I feel like I never make them proud. Sigh.

I believe God will eventually find me a way. I believe in lights in the end of tunnel.