I am insecure, indecisive, and have a very low self-esteem.
People might think the other way. I guess I played the role well (aha!)
Deep down inside, that's the real me. I always feel like I have nothing to be proud of.
My boyfriend is all about "what the man should become" and I feel like I don't deserve him. He deserves someone better than me. I keep saying that to myself till I started to hate me even more. He keep saying that I'm alright while I'm not. He embrace me for who I am. But I insist that he's too good to me. I always under estimate myself.
It wasn't a coincidence that God let me watched Gia. Beside my favorite quote that I previously uploaded on this post, there's another line I like.
"This is life, not heaven. You don't have to be perfect"
... I never thought in my life I'd be seeing a shrink. I hope that day will never come.
I know I can get through this. It's about time innit?
P.S
Not that I'm not thankful for what I've got. But I just don't feel like that I'm good enough for everyone around me. One ever told me that I don't have to prove anything to anyone. But why? I feel like I never make them proud. Sigh.
I believe God will eventually find me a way. I believe in lights in the end of tunnel.
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