Here in Indonesia's two major cities, Jakarta and Bandung, we often stumbled upon a young family of four six (husband, wife, and two kids, two nannies). Not one, but two nannies in tow! One child = one nanny. And their parents are busy with their smartphones. No joke guys, I've seen those sights many many times.
If previously I really didn't give a shit about that, now it's different cos I'm pregnant. I began to pay attention to those things. Well.. I couldn't help but wonder, is baby sitting THAT hard? Till you have to hire somebody else to take care of your kid? The case would be different if both parent are working. So maybe they don't have enough time to take care their own kid. (Tho I still prefer to seek help from my mom or mom in law instead of nanny.) BUT if you're a housewife, why don't you take care of your kid by yourself? That make me wonder.
Well, to be objective, it's perfectly fine to hire a "helper". But we have to know our portion as a mother, and her portion as a mere "helper". Instant example, we take care 100% of our kid while the helper (as obvious as its name) only helping us a tad bit. Cleaning bottles perhaps? Or doing the laundry? But I can't stand seeing those "helpers" feed the baby (in most cases, nanny eat the leftover of baby's food for the sake of getting compliment from her employer) or even sleep with the precious baby because the parent don't want to be disturb at night! (there are also cases where nanny give the baby a small doze of sleeping pill!)
Here's the thing, we can't just GIVE our baby away... I read somewhere around the net, there's a blogger who described this situation as, "hamil dinanti-nanti, udah lahir diurus nanny". Isn't it ironic?
I personally, don't want to miss any single moment of my developing baby. I wanna be the first person who see my baby roll over, I wanna witness my baby doing all his "firsts", I wanna make sure he spell the word "mama" first before "papa" (now that's selfish. LOL). If that make me 1000 times more tired, dirtier, and all, I don't care. Because I am now a mother. It's the part of the consequences I take when I decided to be a mother. I wanna involve in all my baby's situation. When he cries, hungry, happy, playful, poop, pee, sick, naughty, etc. Because time moves forward., not backward. Remorse is not an option. I don't want our child have this "mental pembantu" thingy because he spend more time with his nanny than his parents. Mr. D and I believe that behind every successful person, there's a parent who fully support him. And we don't think they gotten take care by nanny while they were young...
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To end this phe-nanny-nomenal post, I would like to add that we're against the society who told us to make two babies at once (i.e. with 2 years spare time between child #1 and child #2). We want to take care our child as best as we could, give him a proper education, as well as mental training. We just don't want to FEED him with food. And in the end, if we can only manage to have one child, so be it. Because we know our purpose of having a child in the first place. Not to "kejar setoran" or fulfilling people's questions ("kapan punya anak
I learned this a lot from my amazing husband. His way of thinking and mindset is way beyond his age. Sometimes I can't keep up my pace when I'm running with him (he always runs). But as we live together, slowly but sure I get to understand him even though I'm not even half as good as a person he is. But surely the day will come :)
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