Chasing Intan

I want to be appreciated.  As simple as that :) 

Well  This is weird.  I don't think I'm able to write good stuffs anymore. Wait, since when I write a nice piece anyway? Lol. But seriously, it seems I have nothing in mind beside motherhood! Hours and hours passed by where you can find me reading all mommy/parent-related articles. Haha. I don't even spend that much time in fashion websites anymore (where I religiously read before). Of course I veered off once in a while just to catch up with latest trend (that connected with my business). But that's all. I don't find myself obsessing over these specific fashionable shoes or bags. Those days are long gone. I'm not lying when I wrote I kinda miss wearing my skyscraper heels... But where? I have toddler in tow that seems can sit / stand still for 5 seconds. I was busy running with him here and there... Aaaand you wouldn't believe me, but I'm about to purchase my FIRST sneakers. Hahaha. FYI, I never own one. Back in the days when I used to be a gym rat, I a...

Finally.. A non-mommy post! Haha  Earlier today my sister and I played with make up. As the owners of an established beauty online shop (hahaha thats cray) we tend to follow the trend. Acknowledge what's hot right now.. Colors of the season. Palettes that used on the runaway...etc. In the other side of the world have entered the fall season. And "the color" of fall is burgundy/bordeaux. So that's what we tried today. A vampy lips as they said in the magazine.  I was very excited cos I didn't get a lot of time to do my hobby nowadays. Vale has been such an energetic bunny who always on the move! I don't even comb my hair, just tuck it all in the ponytail. Or a bun. Or whatever it called, so Vale can't pull it off.  Anyway, here's the look. It's not that perfect. How could it be perfect when those two tiny hands always grab my thigh when I did my eyeshadows.. Lol. But hey at least I tried :D  Two sides of the same coin... Sissy chose red lipstick ins...

Just in time for our 2nd wedding anniversary (which will due tomorrow)... Mr D bluntly said, "on his journey to find true love, I guess Vale will search someone whom adventurous, brave, smart, with high self esteem, and someone whom not too care about her appearance. Someone whom not depend on make up and things like that. Someone whom unlike  you.."  He said it right to my eye. I know it's too early to say those things. But, I was hurt okay? While he's the one who always say that he wants to have a wife whom precisely the same as his mother. Loving, kind, feminine, patience, etc etc I'll be here all night if I have to write down things that Mr D love about his mom. And to heard him say something like that, it was like a slap in my face...times twelve. Am I that "negative" so my son someday will avoid the type of woman like me?  Or even worse, is it what he's been trying to tell me? That I'm not good enough.. Well I've never been good enough ...

Yesterday I went with the girls.. Errr I guess "ladies" would be appropriate hahah LOL. Of course with our dearest babies who happened to have the same age.. And with their nannies too. Vale is the only one who doesn't have nanny. But my friends insisted to bring along the lady who works at my house to accompany us. They thought I always being too hard to myself and I need a sprinkle of fun every once in a while. Vale was sleeping at the car so I decided to brought her with us.  We gathered at this playground, named Miniapolis. It was the first time I actually go there :D. PVJ is the mall that Mr. D avoid. Despite the distance from our house, parking lot in PVJ is the worst ever.. Not forget to mention the nursery room. In short, the mall is not baby friendly AT ALL. But it has quite good shops.. That's why I do crave to go there every other day.  :D.  The ladies were starving and the babies couldn't wait to jump onto the playground. So the best decision was leave...

Just when this GTM thingy finally taken its toll, we got to pass thru it! Yeaaayyyy...  Setelah sebulan lebih berperang melawan GTM, akhirnya terlewati juga. Seperti yg gue bilang di post2 sebelumnya, temen gue merekomendasikan DSA Yulia di Melinda Hospital. Katanya beliau kalo kasih vit penambah nafsu makan pasti manjur. Wah gue makin menggebu-gebu nih pengen bgt ketemu dr. Yulia... Tanpa ba bi bu langsung gue daftar by phone trus dapet no 40 sekian. Yowes ga papa toh yg penting masih dapet.. Sorenya didatengin lah si dokter, singkat cerita gue jelasin duduk permasalahannya trus dia ngasih resep vitamin yg konon "ampuh" itu. Ga mau nunggu lama lagi, malemnya langsung gue kasi tuh vitamin.. Sambil berdoa semoga beneran ampuh. Secara gue uda hopeless berat.  Besok paginya, seperti biasa gue bikinin Vale sarapan.. Cereal quaker + buah. Dannnnnnnn..... *eng ing eng* HABIS saudara-saudara. Dari yg biasanya makan sejam cuma 1 sendok, ini bisa abis dalam waktu kurang 30 menit. Mimp...

There are times where I just miss my old self. You know I love dressing up. I love make up. I love getting my hair, nail, and everything in between done. I never been through a "tomboy" phase throughout my life. I'm a girly girl kinda girl :D.  But of course, I'm a mom now.. I don't have time to pampering myself anymore. My whole life is our family. However, I still make time to trying to "look good" whenever I go out. Again, Mr. D kept telling me that I don't have to do such things. Leave those heels at home, or you don't have to put that much of make up. Or even at some point he asked, "why are you dressing up? We're just about to go brunch."  "Dressing up" means I only wear my casual dress.. Along with my foundation routine and a very thin eyeliner. And he called it "too much makeup " Arghhh.  He once said that he love my bare face. My second to sleep face. Where there's only my night cream and eye cream s...

Following last blog post about my son who turned out to be fussy eater.  Artikel demi artikel yang gue baca selama ini rata-rata menyebutkan bahwa GTM itu bisa terjadi karena 2 faktor, psikis dan psikologis. Psikis yang berhubungan dengan fisik, misalnya tumbuh gigi, ga enak badan, sakit tenggorokan, sariawan, dll dll. Kalo psikologis lebih ke faktor psikologis sang anak. Misalnya trauma sendok (karena pernah dicekok obat), atau trauma dimarahin, dll.  Vale ini bisa dibilang lagi ga ada gigi yang mau tumbuh.. Soalnya giginya udah 8 dan keliatannya belum ada gusi yang bengkak. Si bocah pun tetep lincah (pake banget). Apalagi dari sebulan yang lalu udah mahir jalan. Jadi kayanya, GTM kali ini bukan disponsorin sama faktor psikis deh... Jadi apa dong? Psikologis? Dari sekian banyak perasaan yg gue rasain, kok rasa bersalah lah yang paling dominan? Jangan-jangan Vale bisa begini karena gue yang kurang sabar? Apa gue pernah tanpa sengaja ngasih makanan yang terlalu panas? Apa gue p...

Ever since Vale started solid at exactly 6 months ago, all hell breaks lose. Don't get me wrong.. But the perks of having a baby only lasts 6 months.  Because.... Feeding a baby is somewhat tricky. He can eat one full plate of "X" food this morning in barely half an hour. while only in the afternoon he spit almost all of it.  What amazed me, my mood driven by his appetite. I think I've written about this in the last few posts.  It's been almost one month and Vale never made it to clear his plate. Let alone half of it! I was so fuckin stress out I wanted to bury myself. I did everything I could to make him eat his food. Texture, food varieties, finger food, entertainment, new places, new toys, dance regime, songs, you name it. But he just seem lost interest in food. I cried a few times. I know it didn't solve any problem, but at least I feel better. I let go off my emotion. This is strange, but the situation is worse than when someone dump you. Lol. It's a ...

A wise man said, "You can't stop the future, you can't rewind the past. The only way to learn the secret is... Press play"  We had our first huge fight as husband and wife. Let's say he puts all the blame on me. Yes I made mistakes, but there were reasons behind what I've done. I was trying to explained those to him but at first he wouldn't listen. At least I tried. After anger dominating his words and attitude, few hours later he acted like his usual self... Yet, everything couldn't be undone now. Shit happens. Even the most beautiful piece of mirror..is finally wracked. We can put together the pieces but the cracks will always be there.  I'm sorry from the deepest of my heart.. I never meant to hurt you for one second. You are the perfect man, I'm the one who have all the flaws. But please give me one more chance to fix myself once again. I was once a childish person, still am. But I tried to change one baby step at the time. I'll be a be...

Dear anakku Valentino,  tak terasa sudah setahun kamu hadir di dunia ini.. Kamu menjadikan hidup kami begitu berwarna. Kamu membuat hidup kami menjadi lebih berarti. Kamu adalah kebahagiaan yang tidak ternilai harganya. Kamu adalah harapan bagi kami.  Masih belum luput dari ingatan, hari pertama kami membawamu pulang ke rumah. Ada tangis haru bahagia di sana. Sebagai orang tua baru, kami bertekad untuk berjuang sendirian. Papah adalah seseorang yang teramat mandiri, ia tidak mengindahkan bantuan dari orang lain sekecil apapun itu. Prinsipnya, kalau bisa dilakukan sendiri kenapa minta tolong orang lain? Mamah sebaliknya, adalah pribadi yang amat lemah.. Tapi papah selalu menguatkan mamah, bahwa mamah bisa merawat dan membesarkanmu sendiri tanpa bantuan siapapun. Di saat hampir semua orang yang kami kenal memakai jasa suster atau bantuan orang tua, kami memilih untuk berjuang sendiri. Dan hey, we're survived! Dan itu adalah keputusan terbaik yang pernah kami ambil. Menyusuimu ad...

First and foremost, it's in your gene. If throughout your pre-pregnancy life your body was slim, then chances are you'll get back to your pre-pregnancy weight within months.  I got back to my pre-pregnancy weight within 3months. And after that, it went downhill until now. I breastfed and take care of my son exclusively. It plays an important role too. Breastfeeding need a lot of calories. It burns fat equally with run in a treadmill. I'm serious. After nursing I always feel starving. My meal portion now is much much bigger than my portion prior to breastfeeding. Gosh I feel like a monster who never gets her stomach full. I snacking like every five minutes. OK that's a lie. But I always HUNGRY. That's new to me, cos previously, I always on a diet. Not a strict one, but I manage my eating habit.  So that's point #2 : breastfeeding.  I'm not saying if you exclusively breastfeeding your body will get back to normal quickly, cos I find it doesn't work for som...

So my son is about to turn ONE this coming August.. Hmm. Since the day he was born, I haven't get any proper sleep/eat/bath. Yeah you heard me. Even though he already slept through the night by 5months, but still these eyes didn't 100% closed. A tiniest sound would wake me up and checked him. Don't even start with those horrible teething/ I-don't-know-what-that-is night where my son woke up every one or two hours, screamed his throat off and nursing like a vampire LOL. *my poor saggy breasts*  With no nanny or helper to take care my baby, I ain't pretty much taking care of myself anymore. But there were times when I litterally dressed up without special occasion. Because I missed my old self. I was stressed out. Let's say I eat stress for breakfast. Sometimes I gazed through old photos with Mr.D. I hardly got time for him nowadays. There were nights where I went straight to sleep without kissed him goodnight. I was so tired my bones hurt.  Vale had his tantrums ...

Dear life..  Thank you for today. For another day to live. For another birthday to celebrate. For the ups and downs. The highs and lows. The lesson learned.  I am present and grateful and happy. 

One thing that I missed throughout this time is having a proper date with Mr.D. I feel like our several years dating weren't enough. I miss trying new restaurant in town, or just going dinner to our favorite cafe.. Sitting and talking and chillin and holding hands.   Being a parent is all about commitment. We can easily slipped away by left our son with my mom or mom in law. But I can't. We can't. I know this sounds ridiculous because there are so many parents out there do the same. Well we can go but our hearts not "in the moment". Vale has been a major major part in our lives.  I didn't really think Mr.D felt the same way.. Until one day he said, "ah how I miss spending all day all night with you, holding hands and watch the movie, doing ridiculous things and eat delicious (or not!) food, driving and go home late." Hahaha. He got that blues too. I thought it was just me. Apparently, parenting has finally taken its toll. :D  Anyway, meal time is ver...

Gosh. This post suppose to be posted weeks ago. Too many drafts in my folder cos you know, I was writing all these unfinished stuffs and then the baby begged for attention. Well here we go. ------------------------------- After all these months and the first word that came out from your tiny cute lips was papa?  *cry*  I thought it's going to be "ma ma" like those that written on the books and like all my friends experienced. Well. It doesn't matter... (NOT).  Happy nine months my baby boo...  Little updates from me..  We're just back from our trip to Bali last week. I feel so refreshed and recharged. That wasn't Vale's first trip. Actually his first trip was going to Singapore three months ago. But of course there wasn't any fuss cos Vale hadn't start solid then. So it was soooo much easier! A bit different with this Bali trip. it's quite challenging to travel with 8mos baby in tow. Even harder when you decide to not give anything that not hom...

Hi everyone!!!  I think this is the longest I've been MIA.  Life's been crazy......GOOD.  My sis in law once said that "someday when you have a child, you'll put everything behind." Damn she's right! But you know what, it feels good just to sit here and start blogging again. Little prince is sleeping right next to me. I bought myself an ipad mini a week ago, hoping I can get some "me time" again. Writing and writing and writing. Besides replying customer's questions. Yes. I'm still a personal beauty shopper. In fact, I'm enjoying every second of it.  First thing first.  Vale turns 8 months today! I mean, where time flies? His baby phase passed in a blink of an eye. Oh how I miss those snuggly nap on my chest. He's a big boy now, weighing almost 11kgs. And I'm the one who shrinking. Yay!! He started solid on 6mos and it's been up and down ever since. Big boy hates gadget. When other babies can be distracted with gadgets, he pre...

Excuse me, whose blog is this? Oh heck, it's mine.  I've been away for too long, waaaaay too long. I've missed new year post, another (chinese) new year post! And little did I know, my son is now 5 months.  It's Sunday morning, Vale woke up at 6. He pooped, and then I was preparing his bathtub. I bathed him and minutes later he slowly dozed off.. Hallelujah! He went back to sleep.  "Me time" calling! :D  I had myself a long good bath, breakfast, filled Sunday's crosswords, and now sitting in front of my laptop stringing along these words.. Realizing how much time flies so fast.  Little updates from me, right now I'm still (and forever will be) a housewife. That's my prime, and ultimate job. Whoever said being a housewife = jobless, have to do it by themselves. In fact, it's ENDless, rather than JOBless (if you know what I mean).  Another job, my online make up business grew bigger each day. When we started months ago, w...